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When my wife starts a sentence with "When you get a chance...." ... I start putting my shoes on. She means now.

What if Lolly ran out of adverbs? schoolhouse rock video youtube

all that is missing is a rabid herding dog. I wouldn't dare compare a graceful Aussie shepherd dog to you know who.

The glass is not always half full or half empty. It could have been twice as big as needed in the first place.

two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

Pizza hut after I called in an order: "Would you like that delivered?" me: "yes please, I don't like liver on my pizza."

I just broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine so that I can date Claire Lee instead. hmm so, .... I can see Clair Lee now that Lorraine is gone. yes a groaner!!

My wife is upset at me for my latest scheme. I put all our money in BOSE stock. I told her not to worry as it is a sound investment.

I liked how the doggie jumped the fence to block off the sheep from turning left into an open field. That is a smart one

I got laid off from my job at the keyboard assembly factory. Apparently I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

Cayenne you please lay off the spice jokes, people don't need any more encourage-mint. At this point I'm just trying to curry favor.

I hate spelling errors. You mix up to letters and your whole point is urined.

A tough looking cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. “Which one...

IRS AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them." Boat Owner: “Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about...

I hate when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy. I mean, it's not like I've done anything!! I married my wife for her looks ... just not the ones she's giving me now.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?” They reply: “Yes.”...

ouch .... but shouldn't the sign then be "old angry white men" ? :unsure:

they coulda done some sword duels to spice it up. What an outdated thing they still cling to. when I hear "tradition" I usually respond with "that's why it needs to stop"

what if I had no response? :unsure:

And here I thought this thread was a safe space. Hehe