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All Things Uranus

ZiprHead

ZiprHead

Loony Running The Asylum
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Don't be a dick.
Microscopic life has been found on Uranus.

I heard your mom was the first explorer of Uranus.

I'm an astronomer. I can't stop thinking about Uranus.

I've heard Uranus is very warm and moist this time of year.
 
I can\t believe that Pluto is no longer a planet, but that asshole is.
 
I've heard there is a probe going to Uranus to investigate methane gas eruptions.
 
What does the starship Enterprise have in common with Toilet Paper?

They both circle Uranus trying to wipe out Klingons.
 
After the Mars Climate Orbiter crashed, NASA formed a committee to figure out how to avoid such accidents in the future. I suggested that we concentrate on the gas giants for a while. The chairman asked me how that would help.
"Well, Wayne, I figure if even you can find Uranus with only two hands and a mirror..."
 
Atheos said:
What does the starship Enterprise have in common with Toilet Paper?

They both circle Uranus trying to wipe out Klingons.
Click to expand...

An oldie but goodie. My older brother told that one at Thanksgiving back in the late 70's. Weird, because those were pretty much his exact words. I was LMFAO, but mom was not amused!
 
That's probably about when I first heard it as well. I was 10 or so.

That joke's so old last time I heard it the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

(Heard that one about the same time.) :)

Hey, did you hear they recently found life on Uranus? Good news is they also have a salve that'll knock that right out.
 
Upon closer flyby of the latest probes four new moons have been discovered around Uranus. Not surprisingly they have been named Myanus, Hisanus, Heranus and Theiranus.






Thank you... thank you.. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitresses.
 
Under close examination, Uranus appears red and blotchy.
 
In other news, Personal Lubricant lobbyists have been putting increasing pressure on Senate budget officials to initiate a program to probe Uranus.

- - - Updated - - -

People have been asking me where I come up with all these jokes. I would say I just pull them out of my ass, but the truth is they come from Uranus.
 
I love this thread.

So, three coworkers and I were in line to board a plane in Seattle this morning, the end of a business trip. We were in Boarding Group 3.
They announced that anyone with disability needing extra time could board.
Then they announced that anyone traveling with children under 2 could board.
Bob said that he could 'pass' as a 2 years old.
I said i thought that maybe i was 2 years old on Jupiter.
They all gave a small chuckle. Not a guffaw, 'my how funny that was,' but 'yes, i caught the fact that you made a joke.'
Then i snapped my fingers. "Oh, Wait," I said. "I was thinking about Uranus."
They all gave the same small chuckle. And every one of them stopped suddenly when the penny dropped and they realized that statement could be taken multiple ways. ...and moved away slowly.

It was a beautiful moment, thank you all for this thread and your contributions, thus making the moment possible.
 
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