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Amidst Calls For Calm, Americans in the Southeast Panic

Jimmy Higgins

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SOMETHINGBORO, NC -- Anxiety is high among Americans in the Southeastern portion of the United States a number of days after Colonial Pipeline suffered a Ransomware attack which shutdown their primary pipelines which provide tens of millions of Americans gasoline, diesel, and heating fuel. The temporary shutdown would have been less eventful, had Americans just took it in stride. However, much like clockwork as seen with the March 2020 panic buying, Americans throughout the Southeast are taking a definite fuel shortage now stance instead of maybe a fuel shortage in the future position.

Citing the need for fuel in order to transport themselves and/or children to school and work, Americans rushed as fast as they could to gas stations they knew wouldn't be capable of resupplying itself. Waiting in lines of up to 60 or 80 cars at gas stations for up to an hour, Americans proved they had the patience required to wait in line calmly in order devour gas stocks like locusts, but not the patience to wait through a potential gas supply shortage which might never have happened.

The Governor of Georgia announced the temporary removal of the gasoline tax, in order to help keep the price of gasoline lower which will help increase the rate of depletion at the gas stations. The Governor of Florida announced that his laissez politics left him, and therefore the state, defenseless against this potential crisis which is being made worse by America's inability to weather any amount of adversity it encounters, regardless how self-projected it is.

You know, almost now of this is made up.
 
Yipes, that last text should read "almost none of this is made up". Right now 12% of gas stations are dry in North Carolina.
 
That's a joke right? A gas station couldn't have possibly have allowed that!
 
Traffic around all the gas stations was crazy yesterday. Pump lines down the street.
 
That's a joke right? A gas station couldn't have possibly have allowed that!

How many gas station employees do you think are gonna go out there and challenge trumpy dipshits (most likely, let's be real) when there's lines of said dipshits down the street, all in a state of high anxiety?
 
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