1. If you happen to be DACA and live near your parents, this is easy. Turn your mom in to ICE. Be there when they haul her away. Get video and send it to The Joe Rogan Experience.
2. If that's not your situation, tell people you're Samoan. It's a step in the right direction, and Trumpies won't know enough to understand what you're saying. They may ask you to belly dance or something.
3. Start driving a Ford pickup or El Camino. If it's the Camino, get the most jacked-up tires you can find.
4. Get a giant decal for your Ford/Camino with the Confederate flag and the message, 'If this flag offends you, you need a history lesson.' Also "I brake for Christians.'
5. Be seen a lot at Denny's or Cracker Barrel. Steer clear of Chipotles.
6. Learn the lingo. "I'm fixin' to..." or, even better, "I'm fittin' to..." are golden. Your dad is not Papi, he's Papaw (but again, be ready to turn him in.) Bonus points if you can pull off "Mighty white of you."
7. God Bless everybody. In fact, put this into every other sentence.
8. Wear a bandage on one ear.
9. Every so often, say, "I sure wish John Wayne was still around."
10. Learn all the latest Haitian, transgender, and Kamala jokes. Practice slapping your knee when laughing.