Jimmy Higgins
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- Jan 31, 2001
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- Calvinistic Atheist
CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA -- Speaking to a national audience, the Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison relented that in the face of record breaking widespread fires, flooding issues, and now funnel spiders which are predicted to be spreading across eastern Australia, that "We must seriously consider that we have pissed off some Aboriginal God."
At least 24 people have been declared dead due to the fires that have spread quickly across portions of Australia in large part due to very high temperatures as well as very dry conditions. An estimate of one billion animals have been killed in the fires as well. Torrential rain storms subsequently brought flooding to scorched areas, where the ground was not capable of absorbing the storm water. Additionally storms brought upon near hurricane force winds in some locations, literally blowing koala bears miles from their habitats. Highly toxic spiders just add to the danger of being in Australia now, where fires still continue burning rampantly.
"I dunno, maybe we defaced or disrespected Uluru or Ayer's Rock, whatever it is called," noted the Prime Minister who has faced criticism of not showing enough compassion for the Australian suffering from the natural disasters. "But we must have done something!"
The Prime Minister will be hosting several Aboriginal delegates to discuss the potential offenses committed against their supernatural deity(-ies?) in order to develop a plan that will appease the god(s) and the destruction can end. When the PM's press agent was asked whether reparations to the Aboriginals would be considered, she responded "Don't be ridiculous, things haven't gotten that out of hand yet."
At least 24 people have been declared dead due to the fires that have spread quickly across portions of Australia in large part due to very high temperatures as well as very dry conditions. An estimate of one billion animals have been killed in the fires as well. Torrential rain storms subsequently brought flooding to scorched areas, where the ground was not capable of absorbing the storm water. Additionally storms brought upon near hurricane force winds in some locations, literally blowing koala bears miles from their habitats. Highly toxic spiders just add to the danger of being in Australia now, where fires still continue burning rampantly.
"I dunno, maybe we defaced or disrespected Uluru or Ayer's Rock, whatever it is called," noted the Prime Minister who has faced criticism of not showing enough compassion for the Australian suffering from the natural disasters. "But we must have done something!"
The Prime Minister will be hosting several Aboriginal delegates to discuss the potential offenses committed against their supernatural deity(-ies?) in order to develop a plan that will appease the god(s) and the destruction can end. When the PM's press agent was asked whether reparations to the Aboriginals would be considered, she responded "Don't be ridiculous, things haven't gotten that out of hand yet."
