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Can I talk about your body that you are exposing?

 
 
 
Rhea

Rhea

Cyborg with a Tiara
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Setting the tone: I do not care how much body people show. Not “I tolerate it,” but I actually don’t care. So this is an academic-flavored question, not one borne from prudishness. The boobs thread made me think of this, but it’s something that has come up before.


So people wear stuff that exposes certain parts of their body. It feels like sometimes it’s okay to talk about the exposed bit. prompted, even, or sought after. Other times, the exposed bit is not supposed to be acknowledged.

So say a person is Autistic, and doesn’t see why some is okay and some not. How would you go about describing why it’s okay to mention some body parts and some not?

Examples: Some are intended to draw looks and/or comments, others you are not supposed to comment on, or even acknowledge that you are looking.
  • Muscle tees - “nice guns, lady!” Or “Major pecs, mister!”
  • Midriff shirts - “epic abs, ma’am!” Or “Now that’s a sixpack”
  • Tank top - “Nice tattoo! Love that work!”
  • Plunging neckline - “Nice boobs!”
  • Low-rise jeans - “Love your butt crack!”
  • Short-shorts - “That is one tight ass”



So why would it be okay (and I think it is?) to comment on someone’s abs that they are showing off, but not on their boobs or tight butt cheeks?

I’m of two minds here: one, I don’t think we should judge people on their clothes and assume they are showing something off for us to comment on. But two, sometimes isn’t it legit to say, “hey, I wanna show off something I like?”

What are the social pitfalls inherent in this topic?
 
What a great thread and thanks for starting it Rhea. I am in the camp that, if you are going to expose all (or part) of your assists, then you better be fully ready to take the comments that other have the right to say to you. Now, it is up to the person saying the comments to determine, just because it is a right, is it worth saying or do I have the nerve to say it.
just to be clear, in my post about the 20 somethings at the bar last night, I completely defend their right to say anything they want about the boobs that I was exposing and their expectations of what they would do if I was completely topless. I was honestly more taken back by the "at her age" comment than the boob comment.
I have had larger than normal boobs since my early teens, so I have heard my share of "boob" comments over the years (both good and bad comments)
 
I agree. I don't see anything wrong with complimenting somebody on their body if they are putting it out there, unless there is some indication that they would not appreciate it. You don't have to "cat call" to compliment somebody's bodily display. As fun said, there are both good and bad comments that can be made. And how somebody dresses is usually a pretty good indicator of what they will and won't appreciate being said (don't compliment the body of a woman wearing a hajib lol)

And obviously you should keep it to compliments and not derogatory statements, just like you wouldn't insult somebody's big nose or fat belly etc.
 
Jolly_Penguin said:
You don't have to "cat call" to compliment somebody's bodily display.
Click to expand...

This is probably a good key to the dividing line. I agree. Difference between saying, “wow, you have a fabulous ass,” and “Hey baby, that ass for me?”

Which brings up one important addition to the discussion: Just because it is being displayed, does NOT mean it is being offered, like, EVER. That requires consent.
 
Still, though, are we saying that if cleavage is shown it is okay to comment on the boobs? If butt cheeks are shown, it is okay comment on them? If low-slung pants show a lot of titillating pelvic hair, can one comment?

I feel like that is not clear. And there are times I would not be wanting comments, just wearing my clothes for me.
 
Short story for you:

I was once standing at a bus stop in a rather crowded area, turned around only to find my face directly at the level and inches away from a woman's boobs covered only by bikini top (she was standing on a slightly elevated surface).

I did a bit of a double take and said "wow" before I consciously realized what happened. She laughed and took it as a compliment and found it funny. I don't think I was out of line. Nor did she.
 
Rhea said:
Still, though, are we saying that if cleavage is shown it is okay to comment on the boobs? If butt cheeks are shown, it is okay comment on them? If low-slung pants show a lot of titillating pelvic hair, can one comment?

I feel like that is not clear. And there are times I would not be wanting comments, just wearing my clothes for me.
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Depends on the culture. I would more readily do so in Toronto than in Singapore. Also if a guy makes a comment and you either ignore him or give a look of disapproval, then it must stop immediately.
 
I say YES to your first 2 sentences. If you are showing it, you better be ready for comments. Now, most people don't care to or want to make comments. We have been talking mostly about women here, but the same goes for men. Now I am sure most of you by now have seen the naked picture of my husband in another post...same goes for him, if he is going to post a full body naked picture on here, he better be ready for all the comments by everybody seeing it as well.
 
funcouple said:
I say YES to your first 2 sentences. If you are showing it, you better be ready for comments. Now, most people don't care to or want to make comments. We have been talking mostly about women here, but the same goes for men. Now I am sure most of you by now have seen the naked picture of my husband in another post...same goes for him, if he is going to post a full body naked picture on here, he better be ready for all the comments by everybody seeing it as well.
Click to expand...

You might want to read and comment (here) on a thread that Brian63 started recently about tattoos that was expanded to included tatooed breasts. He got a pretty unfair (I thought) drubbing from a fellow poster for what he wrote, and I think he was just asking an honest question. Given your experiences in this area, I would be curious to hear your opinion on what he wrote and what the response of the fellow poster. Its currently in Elsewhere:

https://talkfreethought.org/showthread.php?18907-Brian-Koy-Tatoo-Derail-Thread
 
To be fair, us women need to be honest with ourselves as well and think of what our reactions would be if men couldn't hide the size of their cocks the way we women can't hide the size of our boobs. If a guy was walking toward you in a store and you could clearly see he was carrying a 12" horse cock with a huge mushroom head, as\t least from me anyway, he would get a long look and maybe even a "OMG, that thing is huge".
 
Speaking of boob sizes and cock sizes etc, I like to take every opportunity this comes up to bust the myth that all guys/lesbians love huge boobs and all girls/gays love huge cocks.

I am bisexual and I prefer both smaller boobs and smaller cocks. The preferences vary. I never understood why media only pushes the one side of it.

I have met too many A cup girls and guys worried their dicks are small who were actually incredibly hot and had nothing to worry about. Hottest woman I ever met was a near flat chested slender Viet woman (also insecure about her eyes) and the sexiest man I ever met has a smaller than average package. Both were insecure about it. Blew my mind both times.
 
thebeave said:
funcouple said:
I say YES to your first 2 sentences. If you are showing it, you better be ready for comments. Now, most people don't care to or want to make comments. We have been talking mostly about women here, but the same goes for men. Now I am sure most of you by now have seen the naked picture of my husband in another post...same goes for him, if he is going to post a full body naked picture on here, he better be ready for all the comments by everybody seeing it as well.
Click to expand...

You might want to read and comment (here) on a thread that Brian63 started recently about tattoos that was expanded to included tatooed breasts. He got a pretty unfair (I thought) drubbing from a fellow poster for what he wrote, and I think he was just asking an honest question. Given your experiences in this area, I would be curious to hear your opinion on what he wrote and what the response of the fellow poster. Its currently in Elsewhere:

https://talkfreethought.org/showthread.php?18907-Brian-Koy-Tatoo-Derail-Thread
Click to expand...

Whether what Brian wrote was appropriate or inappropriate, it was asked as a question with self-checking and asking for perspective. The other board member was totally out of line in attacking him and trying to put words in his mouth.... Unless what we are seeing is a sanitized version of the thread with a bunch of stuff removed from it.
 
Jolly_Penguin said:
Speaking of boob sizes and cock sizes etc, I like to take every opportunity this comes up to bust the myth that all guys/lesbians love huge boobs and all girls/gays love huge cocks.

I am bisexual and I prefer both smaller boobs and smaller cocks. The preferences vary. I never understood why media only pushes the one side of it.

I have met too many A cup girls and guys worried their dicks are small who were actually incredibly hot and had nothing to worry about. Hottest woman I ever met was a near flat chested slender Viet woman (also insecure about her eyes) and the sexiest man I ever met has a smaller than average package. Both were insecure about it. Blew my mind both times.
Click to expand...

I agree you on one huge size does not fit all. However you agree that there is something about the "abnormal " that catches everyone's attention. I have to admit that I have actually gone up to guys with huge cocks and asked them how big does it get when it is hard. We were at a clothing optional pool party once when this woman neither of us knew came up to us and we were talking and she just reached over and grabbed my husband's cock and took it all the way to erection and I was standing a foot away.
 
Toni said:
What is the purpose of commenting?

Assuming that you are commenting on a stranger's body part and that this is not part of a medical exam.
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Being friendly. Courtesy. Complimenting. Sometimes people appreciate such compliments (been working out at the the gym to get this six pack - happy you noticed). Other times people don't. It's a social skills knowing when such compliments are and are not appropriate.
 
funcouple said:
I have to admit that I have actually gone up to guys with huge cocks and asked them how big does it get when it is hard. We were at a clothing optional pool party once when this woman neither of us knew came up to us and we were talking and she just reached over and grabbed my husband's cock and took it all the way to erection and I was standing a foot away.
Click to expand...

Both of those would be totally inappropriate in most settings, and the second one would even be inappropriate at a clothing optional party (but ok if swingers party and all have consented to a free for all). Context matters.
 
Jolly_Penguin said:
funcouple said:
I have to admit that I have actually gone up to guys with huge cocks and asked them how big does it get when it is hard. We were at a clothing optional pool party once when this woman neither of us knew came up to us and we were talking and she just reached over and grabbed my husband's cock and took it all the way to erection and I was standing a foot away.
Click to expand...

Both of those would be totally inappropriate in most settings, and the second one would even be inappropriate at a clothing optional party (but ok if swingers party and all have consented to a free for all). Context matters.
Click to expand...

it was not a swingers party but a lot of drinking
 
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