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Caption Contest

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"Did you just fart on me?"

"No, I did not."

"Yes, you did. You're eating Funyums, and I see your legs twisted over so you can fart on me."

"It wasn't me. Maybe it was that dog swimming over there."
 
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Get a dolphin they said. I promise I'll take care of it, they said. I'll walk it every day they said. Last time we get a pet for the kids.
 
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Chrissy saw the woman walking her seal and saw that the leash was going to drag the three of them into the harbor. But she didn't really like Jack or Janet, so she didn't tell them why she was getting up.
 
Gonna eat your veggies now, or do you need to thrash around for a couple more minutes?
 
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Hello, Urgent Care. Yeah, I was wondering about a hypothetical. Suppose... you know... hypothetically, someone were to accidentally swallow a pair of rings. No, it wasn't a baby... I mean this is hypothetical anyway... I was wondering will the rings pass through without a problem and eventually come out... well you know... back there... in time for my Older Brother's Wedding which starts at 5:30?
 
Jimmy Higgins said:
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Hello, Urgent Care. Yeah, I was wondering about a hypothetical. Suppose... you know... hypothetically, someone were to accidentally swallow a pair of rings. No, it wasn't a baby... I mean this is hypothetical anyway... I was wondering will the rings pass through without a problem and eventually come out... well you know... back there... in time for my Older Brother's Wedding which starts at 5:30?
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Hello! No the silly bitch is mucking about instead of cooking me a decent meal!
 
Oh goody goody. Here's a photo to help put some humor into the not humorous Ukrainian debacle.
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"I spy, with my goggled eye, something that starts with a B!"
"It's a Brick, Yuri, and you're not as funny as you think you are, asshole."
 
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