College hunting - and those admissions dept emails

[Rhea]

I am now entering the thick of things with a high school child coming to the notice of colleges. What experiences do you have, O other parents?

It starts, I assume when they take the PSAT. Suddenly colleges seize on the knowledge of a student seeking to spend money on higher education.

And you get lots of college solicitations both in e-mail and paper from, first, the for-profit colleges. A clumsy label, of course, but as a rule they are the ones who are instant-trash bin. ( The challenge here lies in getting my son to unsubscribe and not wait for mommy to do it...)

Then the colleges you have never heard of. Smaller places, usually. And they are completely unconnected to what he plans to study. But they want his application very badly!

And every now and again a college that has an actual name with a reputation attached (like Duke, UChicago, Bucknell, Stanford, Dartmouth or Clarkson). Not sure what to make of these. Do they actually use an algorithm to care about his test scores or GPA, his actual desired major? Or is this just higher-value spam?

Interesting stuff.

I'd love to hear discussion about the process from other parents who have been through it...

 

[beero1000]

I am now entering the thick of things with a high school child coming to the notice of colleges. What experiences do you have, O other parents?

It starts, I assume when they take the PSAT. Suddenly colleges seize on the knowledge of a student seeking to spend money on higher education.

And you get lots of college solicitations both in e-mail and paper from, first, the for-profit colleges. A clumsy label, of course, but as a rule they are the ones who are instant-trash bin. ( The challenge here lies in getting my son to unsubscribe and not wait for mommy to do it...)

Then the colleges you have never heard of. Smaller places, usually. And they are completely unconnected to what he plans to study. But they want his application very badly!

And every now and again a college that has an actual name with a reputation attached (like Duke, UChicago, Bucknell, Stanford, Dartmouth or Clarkson). Not sure what to make of these. Do they actually use an algorithm to care about his test scores or GPA, his actual desired major? Or is this just higher-value spam?

Interesting stuff.

I'd love to hear discussion about the process from other parents who have been through it...

I'm not a parent, but here's my take on it:

Basically, all of the mail you're getting is batched spam. School rankings that involve % acceptance and application fees of $50-$75 mean that every school (including the prestigious ones) has a significant incentive to solicit as many applications as possible, irrespective of scores or GPA. Ignore them. (If your son has a real reason to be specifically recruited, e.g. nationally ranked at something, that might change things, but then you'd be contacted by an actual person, not robo-mail)

When I was applying, I continued to get recruitment letters from schools for a long time, even after I had matriculated at another school. The worst offender kept sending letters well into my freshman year of college.

 

[Rhea]

Good points. It probably doesn't hurt to just ignore them all and contact departments directly at this point. Time enough for scholarship and financial assistance talks much later.

My darlin' son is not nationally renowned for anything, although his college board scores were quite decent (top 1%) so he's possible to get one of those National Merit recognitions.

 

[Tigers!]

[College hunting - use a large bore gun and take plenty of ammo]

 

[laughing dog]

Good points. It probably doesn't hurt to just ignore them all and contact departments directly at this point. Time enough for scholarship and financial assistance talks much later.

My darlin' son is not nationally renowned for anything, although his college board scores were quite decent (top 1%) so he's possible to get one of those National Merit recognitions.

Which is why he is going to get boats of invitations - on paper (which is all they have), he is just the kind of traditional student that colleges want.

While it wouldn't hurt to ignore them, it doesn't hurt to give the ones that look interesting or different a cursory glance. You or he might notice something that piques interest. Or some place might prompt an idea or two out of you or him that had not been considered. In these times, you can always look at a school on the web to find out more about it.

I know how annoying that mail can be. My children got boatloads of them. If my memory is accurate, two of my children looked at a school that sent them invitations

 

[J842P]

I am now entering the thick of things with a high school child coming to the notice of colleges. What experiences do you have, O other parents?

It starts, I assume when they take the PSAT. Suddenly colleges seize on the knowledge of a student seeking to spend money on higher education.

And you get lots of college solicitations both in e-mail and paper from, first, the for-profit colleges. A clumsy label, of course, but as a rule they are the ones who are instant-trash bin. ( The challenge here lies in getting my son to unsubscribe and not wait for mommy to do it...)

Then the colleges you have never heard of. Smaller places, usually. And they are completely unconnected to what he plans to study. But they want his application very badly!

And every now and again a college that has an actual name with a reputation attached (like Duke, UChicago, Bucknell, Stanford, Dartmouth or Clarkson). Not sure what to make of these. Do they actually use an algorithm to care about his test scores or GPA, his actual desired major? Or is this just higher-value spam?

Interesting stuff.

I'd love to hear discussion about the process from other parents who have been through it...

I'm sure most places simply look for a cut-off PSAT score and don't really use some complex algorithm to decide who to send mail to. As to desired majors, I would assume that colleges don't pay that much attention since plenty of people change their minds between the time they check a box on their PSATs to the point that they are actually in college going through the process of declaring.

It is a sign that your son is at least "in the bubble" of the schools you are getting mail from, so if he has an interest, it wouldn't hurt to apply.

 

[Rhea]

It is a sign that your son is at least "in the bubble" of the schools you are getting mail from, so if he has an interest, it wouldn't hurt to apply.

So early, you think? He in spring of his Junior year.
He knows pretty well what he wants to do, so that helps him filter the adverts.
I do think it's kinda weird for colleges to just go off a score and not care about whether they even have the major he wants. But I suppose the mails are mostly cheap for them and it's a fishing expedition at this point.

 

[laughing dog]

It is a sign that your son is at least "in the bubble" of the schools you are getting mail from, so if he has an interest, it wouldn't hurt to apply.

So early, you think? He in spring of his Junior year.
He knows pretty well what he wants to do, so that helps him filter the adverts.
I do think it's kinda weird for colleges to just go off a score and not care about whether they even have the major he wants. But I suppose the mails are mostly cheap for them and it's a fishing expedition at this point.

That and most teenagers are not terribly adamant about their prospective majors at this point.

I suggest if he is amenable to offer to take him to visit some of the places you like and think it would be good for him (you don't have to sell him on that aspect) as a fun vacationlike outing. You don't even have to tell the admissions people at the sites you are visting - just poke around without any pressure.

 

[Rhea]

We've taken one visit and have plans for another. He liked the first one and declared, "I'll go there."
So optimistic!

 

[Toni]

I think that one of the most important conversations to have is one of finances. It's difficult for most parents, I think, but I also think it is important to do it early. Don't be coy, and don't be ashamed of not being able to shell out > $60K/year if you aren't willing and able to do that comfortably. Say what your budget as parents will be and what you expect that to cover. Also be very upfront about what you expect your kid to cover, either through his/her own labor/savings, scholarships, grants, and of course student loans. Mention the costs of books ($>1K/semester these days), travel to and from school, etc. Also: set expectations about grades. Be upfront that many if not most freshmen experience a drop in GPA their first semester or two--you can accept that. But you expect (whatever) from your child because you know they are capable of doing the work. One friend upfront told his kids that if they didn't maintain at least a 3.2, the kid would be expected to pay full freight on their own. I dont' know what your limits would be. I'm just saying that there is nothing wrong with being upfront and firm in your expectations and what you can contribute. Since it's probably a couple of years out, these are conversations you need to have with your husband first. You need to be united.

It's also important because many young kids simply don't have any context for money in the real world way. They have no idea what the implications of graduating with >$100K in student debt might be. They just see exciting new opportunity.

Under NO circumstances should you borrow against your house or business, or divert money from your retirement. That sounds really harsh. It is, actually. But you cannot count on what may happen: your kid could do wonderfully well and become a millionaire who is happy to support parents in their old age. Or not.

Personally, I would never, ever say that I would pay for X degree but not Y degree or major. We strongly encouraged our kids to follow their own interests and make decisions about how they would support themselves in the future. Because they knew we would not.

There are services which will allow you to basically pay tuition and housing over the course of an academic year, so in 10 installments, which is something we did with a couple of our kids.

One of our kids attended an expensive private school. During our campus visit, they made her a modest offer of some financial aid. She was in love with the campus She still would have graduated with >$100K in student dept, which I found completely unacceptable. She was extremely upset with me but I was adamant. She had a sibling in college and we are not wealthy: student loans would be her responsibility. However, she was also looking at a state school which was completely within our budget. We made sure that the pricey private school knew that. Her grades/scores were excellent, so there was no question about whether she would get in to either school or most schools actually. Magically, they found some grant money that brought the costs of the pricey private school to being very, very comparable with the public university.

There are lots of grants and scholarships out there. Encourage your kid to explore and apply. There's nothing wrong with keeping a running calendar of dates, etc. even if you don't have to start that today. You will, eventually.

One mistake that I made was to underestimate/ignore the presence of a strong Greek system on campus. Figure out how you feel about it and if your overall view is negative, then trust your gut and don't be afraid to steer your kid to a different school.

Some of my kids were inundated with many, many, many materials from colleges and universities. Think boxes of stuff. From all over the country. I made one really angry when I said that we would limit how far away he could go to within (I forget: maybe 800 miles or so) a certain distance. Mostly because a)in-state tuition is much less and b) he wasn't completely sure what he wanted to do and c) he had younger siblings and as I've mentioned: we are not rich. Money was limited.

I kept my kids on the family cell phone plan. A good lap top is a good idea. Get one right before s/he starts school and make sure it's compatible with whatever software the school uses.

 

[Toni]

It is a sign that your son is at least "in the bubble" of the schools you are getting mail from, so if he has an interest, it wouldn't hurt to apply.

So early, you think? He in spring of his Junior year.
He knows pretty well what he wants to do, so that helps him filter the adverts.
I do think it's kinda weird for colleges to just go off a score and not care about whether they even have the major he wants. But I suppose the mails are mostly cheap for them and it's a fishing expedition at this point.

Yep, and applications come with fees and applications to admissions creates a number used in many ratings systems.

Also, it's not early. It's just right timing to start to look around, maybe see if you can't plan a trip to visit a campus or two. Even to places you know he'd never choose. If there are any nearby schools, just wander around campus a little. He should know what a college campus feels like.

 

[Rhea]

Thanks for the good advice, Toni. My son is not much of a Greek-Boy, he's more of a nerd-type, and is a teetotaler so far, so I'm not worried about frats at this time... but keeping my eye open.

Good ideas, that will help us organize. Thanks!