confessions of a weirdness magnet, part 11
the history of the ohsaycanyousea people
this is the history of the Ohsaycanyousea people, who are the aboriginal pygmies of north america, related in kind and story to the !kung of thenkalahari and little men of the congo. these are the most ancient peoples,the realpeople, who walked the earth long before the Coloredmen came.
long ago, in the time that was, the realpeople lived with their brotheranimals in the world. sometimes the realpeople killed and ate another animal, and sometimes an animal killed and ate one of the realpeople, but there was balance in the world.
but then, but not long ago, the redmen came into the world. with the redmen it was thus: though they killed and ate the animals, they would allow no animal to hunt them. if an animal did this, then the redmen went and killed all the animals of this type, even though they could not eat all of them.so the redmen made themselves masters and the animals slaves.
but the redmen could not tell the realpeople from the other animals, probably due to the thick coat of silkly orange hair, like an orangutan. when the redmen killed and ate one of the realpeople, the rest fled in terror and went to Grandmother Spider and asked what they should do. the realpeople knew that if they killed even one of the redmen, and even then ate all of him, that the other redmen would hunt and kill and waste all the meat of the realpeople, for this was their way.
Grandmother Spider was wise, she keeps all the tales of the old world together. She took two of the realpeople, who were twin brother and sister,their names being Rainbow and River, and wrapped them up in her web and took them deep underground.
Now the realpeople were very afraid - Rainbow and River had been the brightest of their children, and now SpiderWoman had taken them away into the ground. But Spiderwoman returned a lay a great burden upon the remaining realpeople.
she gave them taboo - never again would the realpeople kill other animals,but should an animal kill and eat a realperson, they that would be the way of things this new way. thus the realpeople would become a difference people than the animals, and the redmen would know them and perhaps not hunt them.
the realpeople rejoiced and danced for a while until they found MotherMouse weeping alone - as she walked, she said goodbye to each of the other animals, to mastodons and groundsloths and moas, she bade them farewell, as if they would never be again, and this brought a somber note to the joy of the realpeople, for Mother Mouse is wise and farseeing.
so the realpeople felt themselves anew, and came upon the redmen with open arms. but the redmen bound the arms of the realpeople, and beat them, and made them slaves. so it came to be that the redmen were the masters of the world, and the realpeople their chattel and slaves, and the other animals were afraid and spoke no more as yet.
but the realpeople, the people of the open plains and stars and skies and seas, could not live in slavery. as a one, they died, and the redmen cast out their bodies, not even eating them, for to the redmen the realpeople were unclean and rancid.
but grandmother spider was ready. that night she wove her star net anew and captured all of the souls of the realpeople, and before dawn, she tore down the web and took all the souls into the underground, where she lived. then she awoke River and Rainbow, the twins, and appointed them to watch over the world.
and so they did. many men came: whitemen with blackslaves who would not die, these came and warred and killed the redmen. in their wars many would die but no one would eat of them - they seemed to know that their own fleshis poison and wrong. later, yellowmen came, and brownmen, and all other colors, and Rainbow knew that his time had come. from the wars of the coloredmen there came a generation of children who were dirt-colored, ofthe earth, of all the colors and none. the coloredmen did not want these children, which were dirty and wild, because they had already made slaves of each other. the dirty children were no use as slaves, as they were young and weak, and they were ugly and not Colored, so they were cast out and left to die. Secretly, Rainbow blessed these dirty children, because he knew they would be the new fathers and mothers of the Realpeople.
and so the children grew, like rats in a house of men, ignored but tolerated. and then, when the time had come again, Grandmother Spider released her web of souls, bit by bit, so that the realpeople could come again into the world. the realpeople, who had been hunted and enslaved and exterminated and forgotten, would be born anew in these cast off dirty-children.
one day when all the children had been born, and the realpeople lived anew, River saw that in their dirtiness one could no longer tell Redmen from Blackmen from Yellowmen from Whitemen from Brownmen. so she took these dirty children and washed them an lo! they were seen anew. the children saw the Reds and Whites and Blacks and Browns and Yellows of their fathers andmothers and grandmothers, and they saw the colors of Rainbow, the watcher over of the realpeople. when the River washed away the dirt, the children were all the infinite colors of the Rainbow, each one special and unique.
rainbowmen know each other in certain ways, for despite their rearing among the ColoredMen, they have the souls of the realpeople, and GrandmotherSpider's taboo remains. the rainbowmen should not kill and eat other animals, nor even the Coloredmen, whose meat is poison. when they do eat the meat of other animals, it sickens them and they grow fat and weak.those rainbowmen who never follow their taboo become powerful and wicked though very unhappy.
in the now above world, the ColoredMen rule as they always have. they have divided themselves from the animals, and then set about to dividet hemselves from each other. there is no end to this killing, and all the meat is waste for the flesh of coloredmen is poison. the other animals are silent and afraid, never attacking and eating even one of the coloredmen,but nevertheless, the coloredmen still come and kill them type by type,with great wasting of meat. it is not that they are hungry that they do this thing, but that they are mad and ill made and cannot help themselves.
so the realpeople came to walk again the world as the rainbowmen. when a Coloredman saw a rainbow man, he would see only what he wished to see:himself, and thus the realpeople could move freely through the world,knowing each other but unknown to the coloredmen
and so, in secret, the realpeople came again to ask spiderwoman what to do.only now, spiderwoman was weak from the attacks of the coloredmen, for theysnaw her as a danger to them that they could not tolerate, regardless of her intent, so they hunted her to ends of the earth. at last, two of the dreamers of the real people, raven and coyote, remembered the tales told by Rainbow and River, and they sought out grandmother spider in her lair underground. she was weak and sick and all around her lay the bodies of the coloredmen she had defeated.
by then grandmother spider was confused and weakened and she said to Raven, call your wife, the Moonwoman, and have her call her father, the all-devourer to come into my lair and help me eat this meat. upon hearing this Raven and Coyote were very afraid, for they knew the meat of the coloredmen to be poison, and if any of the animals ate of it, the coloredmen would come and kill all of that type of animal. this had already happened many times, so that the sabretooths and the cavebears and direwolves were all dead. and so, Coyote took his wife Rabbit and slew her and said, here is the meat of another animal, and it is good, as it was in the days before. but spiderwoman was old and testy and would not have it - she said that the Rabbit meat was old and white and dry, and that she would have instead some of the fat and juicy coloredmen. thus, weeping openly, Raven and Coyote took the meat of Rabbit, who was Coyote's beloved wife, and ate her, thus breaking the taboo.
Raven and Coyote thought their sin would be such that Spiderwoman would forget about the meat of the coloredmen, and for a while it did - Raven and Coyote were cast out from the realpeople and made to walk naked in theworld of coloredmen, who saw them and hunted them for a while.
Nevertheless, spiderwoman called to the daughterinlaw of Raven, who was the moonwoman, who til this time has remained hidden in the underground. she said - your husband and brotherinlaw have gone and now the taboo is broken,and so there is much too much meat for us to eat. let us not be like thecoloredmen and waste it, you, moonwoman, go and call to your father the all-devourer to come my lair and help me eat up this meat.
now moonwoman was very afraid, and she knew not what to do. wise raven and brother husband coyote were gone, and she was alone. so, fearing that spiderwoman would die regardless, moonwoman went out into the night sky and called her father, the all-devourer, and said - my other grandmother bids you come and feast, she will await you in her lair. then did moonwoman flee, making herself invisible as fast as she could, for she feared the terrible old man who was her father.
now, with moonwoman gone, grandmotherspider was alone and so she bade Raven andCoyote to return to her lair. soon she would eat the meat of thecoloredmen, and all taboos would be broken, and all would be forgiven. andso they came, quaking with fear, for they had heard the cry of moonwoman.raven flew into the underworld, and the all-devourer could not follow him,but Coyote walked on his four legs, and left tracks, and by this means the all-devourer came to the lair of spiderwoman.
and so, though moonwoman fled the lair of grandmother spider and feared her father's coming, she was with child and late, so she ran to river and river hid her. there, under the water, two children of the realpeople were born,and moonwoman named them Morning Star and Star-Axis. as soon as they were born, moonwoman took them into the sky and threw them far away, for she knew the appetite of her father and that he was coming. as moonwoman fled across the sky, she wept, saying goodbye to each thing as it were, each mountain and lake and plain, one and all. her tears scattered into the sky and became stars, which further hid her children from their Grandfather's appetite.
and so spiderwoman bid raven to go out to the edge of the lair and look forher guest's coming. he did so and came back and pointed to a stone at the edge of the lair. she said - that is but a stone, he is not coming, for now she had regained a little of her mind, and she was frighten by what she had done. and so, raven answered - see the shadow of that stone. at noon, whenthere should be no shadow, look at that rock. you will see a shadow that will come and grow and swallow all the light and the sky, and when you lookup, you will see a tongue of blue flame, for he will have arrived and he will hunger.
and so spiderwoman was afraid, but it was too late: noon had come and thesky grew dark. nevertheless, spiderwoman met the all-devourer and invitedhim to a feast, showing him the bodies of the coloredmen. raven and coyotethought to trick the old man, and offered him all of the poisoned meatfirst, as befits a guest, hoping that he would eat of them and die. but theall-devourer did not die, though the meat made him fat and sick and unhappy, still, he laughed and also consumed raven and coyote and then grandmother spider herself fell into his limitless maw.
out in the world the coloredmen ruled and they were prideful and knew no fear of that terrible old man death. when they saw that the all-devourer had eaten the meat of their kind, they came together to make war on him.they brought their weapons and machines and medicines, but most of all they brought their god. they said to themselves, our god has promised us heaven,and though the all-devourer may kill and eat us, our souls will go on and so we will go on fighting him.
now, the all-devourer was interested in the coloredmen. he saw how they had exterminated the animals and made slaves of each other and was pleased.thus, he reasoned, the coloredmen eat the animal and grow strong, go their god eats the coloredmen and grows stronger - the shepherd doesn't tend his folk from kindness. still. and so the all-devourer laughed and called to the god, come and feast with me and tell me of your heaven. and so the god came, in pride, thinking the all-devourer desired heaven as did all his coloredmen. but no, the alldevourer tricked the god and ate him and took his place. so now, the coloredmen still murder the animals and call themselves lords of the earth, yet they serve their god and allow him to kill and take them as he wills, for this is a way they can understand. and so the coloredmen came to make war on death, but were tricked, and came to worship that terrible old man, walking freely into his black hole and tongue of blue flame to be consumed entirely.
the rainbowmen, though, knew the all-devourer of old and remembered him,and moreover, they did not eat the meat of the other animals and thus werenot worth consuming. though they hid themselves, slowly their numbers grew,and thus it is today.
and so the realpeople know that one day their dreamers will come from Venus and Polaris, and they will be strong and they will kill the all-devourer and open him up, but not eat of him. thus everything old will be remade,including grandmother spider and grandfather mantis and river and rainbow and raven and coyote and rabbit and all the others, and the wolrd will be silent,the all-devourer having consumed all his coloredmen. then, after the day that death lies dead, the realpeople and the other animals will talk again, and they will tell the stories of grandmother spider and the all-devourer, so that it may neverhappen again.
