Death bed confessions

[Tigers!]

Last week we laid my mother-in-law to rest.

At the cemetery I realised that I had been there 7 times in the previous 2 years to bury/cremate friends, people from church (I am at that stage of life where deaths are more frequent that births amongst those I know and disease is catching up to us all).
A couple of those people from church were unbelievers despite attending church regularly to keep spouses happy. One fellow was at church weekly for > 60 years. He ran the boy's group for 15 years, always attended working bees and social events etc. with his wife. A few years earlier at another church member funeral he had told me what he really thought. I suspect I might have been the only one at church who knew what he really thought about God, Christianity etc. (He asked me to keep his confidence and I have as he requested until now but this place is anonymous enough.)

As I left the latest funeral I starting thinking about death bed confessions. Despite my wishing otherwise I believe that most such confessions are not genuine and are done to make family, friends etc. happy.

What say you?

 

[Lion IRC]

Atheists pretending to be Christians bothers me a LOT.
It's called lying.

What do you mean..."He ran the boy's group"

 

[steve_bank]

The value of religion has been in the social rituals that bind a community and a family as well. As I understand it it is not uncommon for atheist Jews to attend services. I knew someone who became Catholic so he c0uld attend functions with his wife.

In a general sense I am not ant religion. I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic schools. I ember all the rituals. Priests wear costumes at mass. Nuns wear costumes or you could say uniforms. The yearly televised pap Christmas's mass is grand theater. The communion ceremony. The priest magically transforms ordinary bread and wine into blood and flash of a dead person, ritualistic catabolism One eats the flesh and blood of a god and gets some of the power.

And so on.

 

[steve_bank]

Atheists pretending to be Christians bothers me a LOT.
It's called lying.

What do you mean..."He ran the boy's group"

What bothers me are the religious who presume moral authority but are morally shallow. The Christian bible based selective morality. Christians who are unable to evaluate themselves as they do non believers.

 

[Keith&Co.]

As I left the latest funeral I starting thinking about death bed confessions. Despite my wishing otherwise I believe that most such confessions are not genuine and are done to make family, friends etc. happy.

What say you?

Probably the 'make happy' thing. Considering how many people I know whose medical alert bracelet asks caregivers to erase their browser history... If we're on the way out, we'd want to be remembered fondly more than we want someone burdened by uncomfortable knowledge.

I don't have that many great secrets on my mind. When I go, my final declarations will be about good feelings for those around me.

Or maybe 'get off my air hose.'

 

[Keith&Co.]

Atheists pretending to be Christians bothers me a LOT.
It's called lying.

I can see that.

But I've seen so many families torn apart by honesty.
Family members not attending weddings because of someone's faith or lack thereof. People being cut off at Christmas for being wrong about Jesus. Siblings not speaking to each other over an agnostic comment.

It really does seem in many cases that the family will be better served, certainly kept more cohesive, by not declaring apostasy. And for the atheist, it's no worse than any other little white lie.
"You look like you lost weight."
"No, I can't tell it's a toupee."
"Yes, Mom, I believe in Jesus."
"No, daddy, I'm not lesbian, I just never met a boy that stood up to your fine example."

There are plenty of other things to worry about more, IMHO.

 

[Treedbear]

Atheists pretending to be Christians bothers me a LOT.
It's called lying.

I can see that.

But I've seen so many families torn apart by honesty.
Family members not attending weddings because of someone's faith or lack thereof. People being cut off at Christmas for being wrong about Jesus. Siblings not speaking to each other over an agnostic comment.
...

Family is so fragile. It's hard to draw a line between compassion and personal integrity. Simply not saying "God bless you" when people sneeze or "Thank you" when they do produces confusion and unease.

 

[Opoponax]

Deathbed confessions seem more reliable than deathbed conversions. The former could be a way of getting one last thing off your chest before you croak. The latter reeks of terror and desperation (which is totally understandable under the given circumstance).

But either way, it's best to view both with healthy skepticism.

- - - Updated - - -

What do you mean..."He ran the boy's group"

Oh, stop it. Your god runs the world's largest pedophile ring.

 

[southernhybrid]

I only know of one person who pretended to convert back to Christianity shortly before her death. I say pretend because she was a beloved neighbor of mine and we talked about her agnosticism and my atheism many times. She told me that the Bible consisted of many silly ideas, but she appreciated our corner church because they did a lot of charity work in our community. I felt the same way. My friend was never very religious in her entire life.

Her daughter converted to evangelical Christianity when she married a hardcore fundy. Sometimes he would visit his mother in law and say, "Mama, are you right with the Lord"? She would often say, "Yes", to avoid hearing him preach to her, but I think her daughter knew she didn't believe because one day her daughter came to me, who she knew was an atheist, to tell me she was concerned that her mother was going to hell. That's right. She vented to an atheist about this. I have no idea why.

Because I wanted to help her, I told her that if there was a god, there was absolutely no way that he was going to punish her wonderful mother by sending her to hell for eternity. That seemed to help, at least for awhile. But having been the victim of childhood indoctrination of that harsh, religious view myself, I was afraid that she would still have doubts.

My friend's granddaughter could be a real bitch too and frequently god bothered her grandma about her beliefs. When I attended my friend's funeral, the granddaughter got up and told us that Grandma had a death bed conversion. I attended the funeral with a more liberal Christian friend who knew the dead woman well. We just looked at each other and rolled our eyes because we were quite sure that our friend had done this to make her family feel better. She was a better woman than me. I don't think I could do that. So yeah. I agree that most death bed conversions are done out of love for family and friends.

 

[abaddon]

Religion's a comfort. First apply self-inflicted torture by believing fantastical crap like sin and hell. Then relieve the torture with yet more fantastical crap. And, for even greater comfort, manipulate others into torturing their own minds too. Or harass them to their dying day if they won't.

 

[Testy Calibrate]

I am willing to convert on my deathbed (should I get the chance) for a prepaid fee.

 

[ideologyhunter]

My confession will be specific and functional. "There's a plastic bag of printed material under the bed. PUT IT IN THE TRASH. Do not open it. TAKE IT TO THE TRASH."
(No copyright on that if a Pope wants it.)

 

[Tom Sawyer]

What’s the point of a death bed confession if some asshole great-great grandkid of yours is just going to posthumously convert you to Mormonism anyways? You end up in the LDS Heaven either way.

 

[bilby]

...

 

[Lion IRC]

...

 

[bigfield]

Does Tigers mean death bed conversions instead of confessions? What kind of death bed confession would make people happy?

 

[Keith&Co.]

Does Tigers mean death bed conversions instead of confessions? What kind of death bed confession would make people happy?

Red Velvet isn't really worth the trouble.
Pumpkin Spice isn't all that great.
You were right.
I can never remember the difference between port and starboard, and up to right now, I've been afraid to admit it.
I saw the Loch Ness monster on that vacation trip.

 

[skepticalbip]

Does Tigers mean death bed conversions instead of confessions? What kind of death bed confession would make people happy?

I can never remember the difference between port and starboard, and up to right now, I've been afraid to admit it.
.

Was that one from the helmsman of the Titanic?