PyramidHead
Contributor
Families are rigid top down dictatorships, or biumverates at best.
Not mine. We negotiate everything. We are obligated to follow the law, but nobody here rules anyone else. It's always been that way since I've been parenting. That you see family structures the way you do is telling.
More important than who sets the rules is who makes and who takes, as that's where you find the class structure. In many households, women do enough work for themselves, but also do extra for everybody else (they don't just cook their own meals or fold their own laundry, in other words) and the "surplus" they make is what the rest of the family uses to survive. She lives on the premises where she works, and the arrangement is justified because of a special bond she has entered with the man. Sound familiar? The stay-at-home mom household is basically feudalism. The woman, who is a serf, works the "land" of her dwelling, making enough for herself pretty quickly and then shifting gears to make a surplus for everyone else, which is taken up and distributed by the man, the lord. She doesn't have the ability to quit the house and work someplace else without subjecting herself to severe social and financial consequences, as the original arrangement was legally and spiritually initiated; the only thing missing was the lord tapping each shoulder with the flat end of a sword as she swears fealty to him.
In Soviet Russia, they actually tried to disrupt this class structure in the household, but they didn't do it by democratizing the family. They did it by nationalizing housework. The Soviet Union had some of the best state-run day care centers and laundry services the world had ever seen, and having been released from the "land" where they normally spent all their time, women joined the factory floors and shops. This was reversed when Stalin came into power.