Demon Match Dating site

[Angry Floof]

There should be a Match dating site for matching people up with demons. I think taking a demon lover would solve so many problems of dating and sex. One, they want your soul, not your body, so you don't have to lose weight or do your hair or anything. Two, they're available whenever you want. Three, they're not judgmental about your sexual preferences or fetishes. In fact, they encourage a wide variety of deviations.

How would such a site work?

I'm thinking in the registration page, you'd need a way to select your choice of incubus or succubus and any other possibilities. (FYI: Don't choose "Angel." They're just demons dressed up with wire wings and halos.)

Demons could advertise their services and post reviews on their profile pages. You can swipe through demon pics and if you like one, you connect and they send you their personal summoning invocation.

What else do we need for this site?

 

[ideologyhunter]

Here at InfidelMingle we have accommodated the demon seekers. Your options include:
Unitarian
Deist
Agnostic
Atheist, respectful
Atheist, sarcastic
Heavy metal nihilist/atheist with tats
Pixie
Demon
Trump supporter
With demon requests, we issue a standard mea culpa should you choose Belial or Choronzon, who are prone to nonconsensual sodomy; the Heavy Metal category, who are prone to nonconsensual piercings; the Atheist sarcastics, who can wear you the fuck out; the Unitarians, who may play Pete Seeger cassettes 'til you puke & will insist on stuff like heirloom vegetables, sea salt, and free-range chicken nuggets; and of course the Trumpies, who have their TV preset to Fox...and SO many other fine qualities. As they say, pick your poison carefully.

 

[Angry Floof]

Good ideas. But I don't think you'll find too many Trump cultists on a demon dating site. Too much stupidstition amongst that crowd.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Good ideas. But I don't think you'll find too many Trump cultists on a demon dating site. Too much stupidstition amongst that crowd.

Are you kidding?

Half the power of porn is the TABOO about indulging. Promise to hide their identities, even in a federal probe, they'll be lining up to subscribe.

Have a button on the screen to instantly change the view to CNN or FOX...

I expect the best bet would be a drag-and-drop interface, a demon build-a-bear.

For the Trumpista, they could select Ivanka's body, Hillary's face, a Russian accent, accessorize with a spanking paddle... On your doorstep in 30 minutes, wearing a pizza delivery uniform in case of nosy neighbors or FBI surveillance

 

[Politesse]

Ah, I used to know a Satanic daimonophiliac. For what its worth, she always seemed pretty happy with her invisible lovers during the time I knew her. Whether, over the long term, demonic sex is safe for the human partner, may be another question. Last I heard, she had jumped religions again, to some manner of populist big-church Christianity.

 

[Angry Floof]

Good ideas. But I don't think you'll find too many Trump cultists on a demon dating site. Too much stupidstition amongst that crowd.

Are you kidding?

Half the power of porn is the TABOO about indulging. Promise to hide their identities, even in a federal probe, they'll be lining up to subscribe.

Have a button on the screen to instantly change the view to CNN or FOX...

I expect the best bet would be a drag-and-drop interface, a demon build-a-bear.

For the Trumpista, they could select Ivanka's body, Hillary's face, a Russian accent, accessorize with a spanking paddle... On your doorstep in 30 minutes, wearing a pizza delivery uniform in case of nosy neighbors or FBI surveillance

Well, there couldn't very well be a "Trumpist" category if they're all incognito on the site. They'd have to be sneaky, at least until a hacker reveals the identities of the users and then they'll all recognize each other.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Oh, there'd be code words... Make it look like marketing towards progressives, but those in the know, they know better...

Check out our selection of demonic immigrants!
(They differ from 'real' ones only in wanting your souls not your jobs.)

Celebrity Hollywood Demons!

Summon, and screw, your favorite actvists!
Global Warmers! Abortionists! Gun Controllers!
You 'love' them, we've got them!

 

[DolphinDynasty]

Here at InfidelMingle we have accommodated the demon seekers. Your options include:
Unitarian
Deist
Agnostic
Atheist, respectful
Atheist, sarcastic
Heavy metal nihilist/atheist with tats
Pixie
Demon
Trump supporter
With demon requests, we issue a standard mea culpa should you choose Belial or Choronzon, who are prone to nonconsensual sodomy; the Heavy Metal category, who are prone to nonconsensual piercings; the Atheist sarcastics, who can wear you the fuck out; the Unitarians, who may play Pete Seeger cassettes 'til you puke & will insist on stuff like heirloom vegetables, sea salt, and free-range chicken nuggets; and of course the Trumpies, who have their TV preset to Fox...and SO many other fine qualities. As they say, pick your poison carefully.

So what if you're both a respectful and sarcastic atheist? Or a Demonic Deist? Are you saying this sites aim is to <gasp> pigeon hole people into labels they do not accept? Blasphemy!

Oh, no wait . . . . I remembered I don't care.

All these sites should have a sub-category to include those who just wanna have fun (sex), only hardly any of them ever do. Because its soooo immoral to tell the truth when dating online as to say you're really only lookin for the sex.


On a more related note, there are sites dedicated to just atheists/deists/agnostics who are looking for dating/sex/marriage or whatever, it's just they aren't developed well and still, at least I think, allow for religious nutjobs to infect their forums which means there's still a lot of preachy, nonsensical, fantastical/fanatical garbage to sift through.