I really don't think that sohy's comment was in bad faith. I've always found her to be very straightforward and honest in her posts.
But her response does open up the fact that statistically speaking, it is mostly women who take leave to care for others. I think a lot of this is due to the fact that generally, speaking, women earn less than men do and so, generally, their income is more 'expendable.' Given that FMLA is unpaid, this is important. It is easier to lose some of the smaller wages than the larger ones, economically speaking.
The cultural norm is that women take off time to have babies (or are unemployed or underemployed or take less paying positions), as a matter of biology but also that women take time off to care for sick and injured children, spouses, other family members due to their 'nurturing nature.' While it may be true that women are more likely to take time off to care for family members as needed, it is not a given that this is because it is their nature, or because it is societal expectations placed upon them. It is also not clear whether women choose jobs with greater flexibility in order to be able to address these kinds of needs because that's what they actually want or whether that's because that's what's expected of them, or whether that's because of unnecessary hurdles placed in their paths when they choose to work in a more male dominated and more rigid work environment. (I'm not saying that all male dominated work environments are more rigid. I'm saying that those are two situations that can be less attractive for women to choose to work in those fields/workplaces.)
My personal opinion is that a 4 day work week (with 7.5 or 8 hrs being the length of a work day) is better for the work/life balance of all persons, married or single, parents or childless. I've thought that parents of young children (at least through age 5 and possibly longer) should each work 3/4 time--maybe 30 hours a week, This would allow both parents to be actively involved in their children's lives, would allow each to continue to progress in their careers without penalty caused by biology or societal expectations, and would allow both parents to have the social outlets that work can provide--and still give them some work/life balance.
People who are able to have a good work/life balance tend to be sicker less, and to require less time off to care for themselves or other family members or situations that arise as a matter of course. They tend to be more loyal to their employers and when they know that they get flexibility as they need it, they are more likely to be flexible and to pitch in more when others need more. They are happier and less stressed out--so more likely to get needed sleep and exercise and less likely to overeat. .
A 30-32 hr work week would mitigate or remove the career stigma of parenthood and frankly serves everyone well as sooner or later, we are all likely to need time to care for someone we love--and to be cared for by a loved one. _
For me, the only thing that would create this issue is the fact that my workplace won't give me time to do so, whereas they would of I was a woman.
SoHy's comment was in an exchange, paraphrased:
"Parents need medical leave to provide good futures for their children"
"This would make women less desirable for employment"
"Then give it to dad's too, so the calculus doesn't change"
"Why are you talking about maternity leave?!?'
There was a clear effort to derail a perfectly viable thread of conversation about a particular aspect of family leave: parental leave. It deserves talking about, as it's the most common form of family leave.
The cultural Norm is maintained through the fact that no matter how much father's want to be there, they are not given the opportunity, causing a chicken/egg cultural forcing.
If men have as much legal right to look after their children as men, there will be less excuse to underpay women.
My point is that paternal leave, offered in an egalitarian way, benefits literally everyone involved, from the mother who is less locked into "traditional motherhood" to the employer who is less motivated to underpay women for the risk of them being forced into "traditional motherhood" to the father who actually gets to spend the time with their children that is denied them in favor of "traditional motherhood", and gives the child the benefit of having the nurturing and bonding experiences with both parents, as opposed to the results of "traditional motherhood".
As to what effects work weeks have, there are certainly needs for a reform to a 4 day work week, and I stress for all the employees in my department, who are my de-facto direct reports, and even my own management, that their work/life balance is more important than perceptions that they are "needed here" all the time. As such, we have less overtime, and we all end up accomplishing MORE.
