FBI Report Submitted to Senate

[Jimmy Higgins]

WASHINGTON DC — The FBI has submitted their report Thursday morning to the Senate after President Trump requested that the FBI reopen *wink wink* their background check into Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

The report will first be viewed by Sen. Chuck Grassley at 9 AM, then Sen. Feinstein at 10 AM. The report, which was to help quell public disapproval of the GOP’s handling of the Kavanaugh nomination and subsequent allegations of sexual misconduct, is to remain secret.

Excerpts were reviewed, however, that indicate the FBI is thoroughly convinced Kavanaugh did not commit several acts of perjury during his testimony.

The FBI confirmed that in the early 80’s, a “devil’s triangle was a drinking game among three participants, just like quarters but with nickels, in the DC area.”.

Among the most controversial issues addressed in the report, the FBI also confirmed that DC was the “epicenter” of the “flatuence craze” in 1982. “Boof Fest” was held in the DC area, where teenaged males “gathered to embrace their passion for flatuating”.

With these confirmations from the FBI, judicial experts are certain that Kavanaugh will now be confirmed.

 

[Angry Floof]

Am I overreacting in wondering if the DoJ is also now compromised?

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Am I overreacting in wondering if the DoJ is also now compromised?

What do you mean "also now"? This would indicate a change in it from what it was previously.

 

[Angry Floof]

Am I overreacting in wondering if the DoJ is also now compromised?

What do you mean "also now"? This would indicate a change in it from what it was previously.

Well, all this time I've felt that the DoJ had a thread of concern left for the Constitution and the American people and wasn't completely compromised like the other branches in spite of whatever problems had already existed with the DoJ. Satire or not, it's up in the air for me either way.

 

[Keith&Co.]

the FBI is thoroughly convinced Kavanaugh did not commit several acts of perjury during his testimony.

...and that's when I realized this was a joke. Good one, Jimmy, you're getting better at this.

 

[HelixSpiral]

Among the most controversial issues addressed in the report, the FBI also confirmed that DC was the “epicenter” of the “flatuence craze” in 1982. “Boof Fest” was held in the DC area, where teenaged males “gathered to embrace their passion for flatuating”.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Am I overreacting in wondering if the DoJ is also now compromised?

What do you mean "also now"? This would indicate a change in it from what it was previously.

Well, all this time I've felt that the DoJ had a thread of concern left for the Constitution and the American people and wasn't completely compromised like the other branches in spite of whatever problems had already existed with the DoJ.

Ya, your feelings were probably misplaced. The DoJ is mainly a bunch of rich white guys from elite boarding schools who'll be disinvited from the best parties and events if they start going up too much against the other rich white guys from elite boarding schools in their investigations. Investigations of misconduct are what poor Mexicans are for.

 

[Don2 (Don1 Revised)]

Am I overreacting in wondering if the DoJ is also now compromised?

No. Mueller and Rosenstein are Republicans. Same with George W Bush. IMO, they've apparently all put aside their differences with Trump in order to secure Republican wins in November. So we are seeing a different FBI since last couple of weeks. Rosenstein denied saying things about Trump and met with him. Mueller is getting rid of resources in his investigation. And now this. One observation is a fluke. Two is a coincidence. Three is a trend.

 

[Angry Floof]

Am I overreacting in wondering if the DoJ is also now compromised?

No. Mueller and Rosenstein are Republicans. Same with George W Bush. IMO, they've apparently all put aside their differences with Trump in order to secure Republican wins in November. So we are seeing a different FBI since last couple of weeks. Rosenstein denied saying things about Trump and met with him. Mueller is getting rid of resources in his investigation. And now this. One observation is a fluke. Two is a coincidence. Three is a trend.

Yeah, the last couple of weeks.

 

[ZiprHead]

WASHINGTON DC — The FBI has submitted their report Thursday morning to the Senate after President Trump requested that the FBI reopen *wink wink* their background check into Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

The report will first be viewed by Sen. Chuck Grassley at 9 AM, then Sen. Feinstein at 10 AM. The report, which was to help quell public disapproval of the GOP’s handling of the Kavanaugh nomination and subsequent allegations of sexual misconduct, is to remain secret.

Excerpts were reviewed, however, that indicate the FBI is thoroughly convinced Kavanaugh did not commit several acts of perjury during his testimony.

The FBI confirmed that in the early 80’s, a “devil’s triangle was a drinking game among three participants, just like quarters but with nickels, in the DC area.”.

Among the most controversial issues addressed in the report, the FBI also confirmed that DC was the “epicenter” of the “flatuence craze” in 1982. “Boof Fest” was held in the DC area, where teenaged males “gathered to embrace their passion for flatuating”.

With these confirmations from the FBI, judicial experts are certain that Kavanaugh will now be confirmed.

 

[barbos]

the FBI is thoroughly convinced Kavanaugh did not commit several acts of perjury during his testimony.

...and that's when I realized this was a joke. Good one, Jimmy, you're getting better at this.

Too slow, I realized that when I looked at the author of the thread.

 

[Angry Floof]

the FBI is thoroughly convinced Kavanaugh did not commit several acts of perjury during his testimony.

...and that's when I realized this was a joke. Good one, Jimmy, you're getting better at this.

Too slow, I realized that wen I looked at the author of the thread.

He gets the Poe award. But I fear we may have lost him to irony for good, like Homer Simpson disappearing into the bushes. He may have gone too far this time.

 

[ZiprHead]

I actually went to the 83 Boof Fest. The Kinks were the headliners but the standout band was the Butthole Surfers. There were also great performances by Menstrual Pancake, The Crispy Leaks, and The Semi Solids.*

Some of the bands really stunk the place up though.


*Yes, those are real band names.

 

[Angry Floof]

Except it's true, apparently. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news...naugh-us-senators-to-begin-reading-fbi-report

 

[RVonse]

I wonder what Comey thinks of this report?

 

[RVonse]

For everyone here who feels disappointed....no need to worry. I am very confident the Democrats have not scraped the bottom of the barrel yet! They still have until Saturday to pull something else out of the bag.

 

[Don2 (Don1 Revised)]

For everyone here who feels disappointed....no need to worry. I am very confident the Democrats ...

Does it matter to you that Kavanaugh is prejudicial because of his extreme partisanship and that he perjured himself several times?

If so, then this has little to do with Democrats.

If not, then this has little to do with Democrats, too.

 

[ZiprHead]

It's Grassley. He wouldn't recognize wrongdoing by a Republican if Nixon was beating him with a bag of quarters.

 

[Valjean]

Ford submitted a list of 20 people with pertinent information. Number of these interviewed: 0.
Six of Kavanaugh's friends were interviewed.
Neither Ford nor Kavanaugh were interviewed.

The fix is in....

 

[Horatio Parker]

I'm reading there are still five unknown votes.

Looks to me the meme is 1) lying about drinking is unimportant 2) Kavanaugh's accuser is unreliable in some way(take your pick).

Will that provide sufficient cover for those five Senators?

I'm a bit surprised Kavanaugh's machinations to soften the impact of the Ramirez allegations and obvious lying didn't have more impact.