"Fuck That Alligator": Man Killed Seconds After Mocking Gator Warning

[Potoooooooo]

sort of like the running of the bulls

 

[DBT]

You'd think they would round off the ends of the horns to prevent deep penetration. It would still cause massive bruising, but that's preferable to disembowelment.

 

[Potoooooooo]

Texas Gator Kills Man in Orange, Ending a 179-Year Streak
by John Nova Lomax

Mon July 6, 2015 11:53 am


http://www.texasmonthly.com/daily-p...n-orange-ending-179-year-streak#disqus_thread

As several readers have pointed out, we jinxed it.
On July 2 at 12:51 p.m. we posted an article about how Texas hasn’t suffered a fatal alligator attack since the last days of Mexican dominion in the wet, eventful April of 1836.
But fourteen hours later, tragically, horrifically, the 179-year streak came to an end:

Police in Orange say they responded to a report of an alligator attack at about 2:30 a.m. Friday at Burkart’s Marina on Adams Bayou, off Mississippi Street in Orange.
Police say witnesses at the scene told them a 28-year-old man was attacked by a large alligator. The Orange County Sheriff’s Office responded to the scene with a boat along with a Game Warden from Texas Parks and Wildlife. The man’s body was located at about 4:30 a.m. not far from the area where he was attacked.
​

More details emerged over the weekend. The last words of the victim, Tommie Woodward, a shipyard worker transplanted from Pacific, Missouri, are for the ages, a situation-specific variation of the punchline “Hold my beer and watch this”:

Employees at the marina had erected the sign in recent days after spotting a “pretty damn big” 11-foot alligator in the area, Orange County Police Captain Robert Enmon told BuzzFeed News.
A woman with Woodward warned him not to enter the water because of the risk, prompting him to reply “F*** that alligator,” Enmon said.
Just before he jumped in, the woman spotted the gator, Enmon said. Woodward was attacked almost immediately.
​

Police have not yet determined if alcohol played a factor.
On his Facebook memorial page, Woodward was described as an “Avid Beer Connoisseur” who “Loved fishing, swimming, camping, grilling and being outdoors period! Hard Working and helped people even if he had to give them the shirt off his back!!!”

Texas authorities have announced they will not hunt the gator, though it has been reported that a private hunt could be organized. (UPDATE, 8:29 PM July 6: A man who would only identify himself as “Bear” trapped the alligator suspected of involvement in this incident, and then blasted it with a shotgun. “He had to go,” Bear told the Houston Chronicle. “That’s what happens when you kill someone.” Even if someone comes in your house, cusses you out and jumps on your head, apparently…)
My original story was prompted by a near-fatal attack on a father and son in Chambers County. I closed it fretting that a fatal attack seemed inevitable. More Texans, many of them new to the state and lacking respect for the dangers these lizards present, are encroaching on an ever-increasing population of alligators. Right now is an especially dangerous time. The gators are nesting, feeling protective and territorial, and the rains have swept them into new habitats, where they are confused and agitated.
I offered up a few gator safety tips: don’t feed them, back away if they hiss, don’t pick up their babies. I also quoted Houston Chronicle outdoors sage Shannon Tompkins at length, who roughly ten years ago also predicted that it was only a matter of time before the streak ended, and cautioned that you should regard any and all alligators with the same caution and respect you would give to the power of a running chainsaw.
(Photographs from AP [Alligator]; Facebook)

 

[ZiprHead]

Looks like I got another phrase to add to my list of idiotic last words, "Fuck That Alligator". As a new listing, it has a long way to go to catch up with the leader, "Hey, watch this", as most frequently used.

I thought it was, "Here, hold my beer. Watch this."

 

[Loren Pechtel]

Justifiable self defense. He said "fuck that alligator", the alligator didn't want to be raped.

 

[fta]

Speaking of the Darwin Awards ...

New Zealand editor resigns after saying family died from ‘natural selection’ in tweet

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

If the car fumes only killed the adult, yes I suppose, but it killed the children aged 2 to 5 as well. A really stupid statement to have made.

Especially in light that it was a silly mistake, not an unbelievably stupid error like jumping in a lake to face an alligator.

 

[bilby]

Technically, everyone dies of natural selection.

 

[credoconsolans]

Texas Gator Kills Man in Orange, Ending a 179-Year Streak
by John Nova Lomax

Mon July 6, 2015 11:53 am


http://www.texasmonthly.com/daily-p...n-orange-ending-179-year-streak#disqus_thread

As several readers have pointed out, we jinxed it.
On July 2 at 12:51 p.m. we posted an article about how Texas hasn’t suffered a fatal alligator attack since the last days of Mexican dominion in the wet, eventful April of 1836.
But fourteen hours later, tragically, horrifically, the 179-year streak came to an end:

Police in Orange say they responded to a report of an alligator attack at about 2:30 a.m. Friday at Burkart’s Marina on Adams Bayou, off Mississippi Street in Orange.
Police say witnesses at the scene told them a 28-year-old man was attacked by a large alligator. The Orange County Sheriff’s Office responded to the scene with a boat along with a Game Warden from Texas Parks and Wildlife. The man’s body was located at about 4:30 a.m. not far from the area where he was attacked.
​

More details emerged over the weekend. The last words of the victim, Tommie Woodward, a shipyard worker transplanted from Pacific, Missouri, are for the ages, a situation-specific variation of the punchline “Hold my beer and watch this”:

Employees at the marina had erected the sign in recent days after spotting a “pretty damn big” 11-foot alligator in the area, Orange County Police Captain Robert Enmon told BuzzFeed News.
A woman with Woodward warned him not to enter the water because of the risk, prompting him to reply “F*** that alligator,” Enmon said.
Just before he jumped in, the woman spotted the gator, Enmon said. Woodward was attacked almost immediately.
​

Police have not yet determined if alcohol played a factor.
On his Facebook memorial page, Woodward was described as an “Avid Beer Connoisseur”

aka "drunk", "boozehound".

Stupid fuck got himself killed..

"Hey don't jump in the cage with that grizzly bear".

"Fuck that grizzly be-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

I like the article. "Police have not yet determined if alcohol player a factor."

I'm pretty certain that the cause of death was "a big fucking lizard" and not alcohol.

Or is that the Police polite way of saying "We currently don't know if he was just that fucking dumb of an idiot or if he was a fucking idiot because of alcohol."

 

[Keith&Co.]

Or is that the Police polite way of saying "We currently don't know if he was just that fucking dumb of an idiot or if he was a fucking idiot because of alcohol."

Yes. it allows the family to convince themselves that if he'd been sober, he'd have had the judgment not to leap in harm's way.

 

[DBT]

I like the article. "Police have not yet determined if alcohol player a factor."

I'm pretty certain that the cause of death was "a big fucking lizard" and not alcohol.

Or is that the Police polite way of saying "We currently don't know if he was just that fucking dumb of an idiot or if he was a fucking idiot because of alcohol."

Idiots appear to be idiots regardless of the presence or absence of alcohol.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Idiots appear to be idiots regardless of the presence or absence of alcohol.

Yeah, but WITH alcohol, you don't even have to be an idiot to go out and idiot all over the place.

 

[DBT]

Idiots appear to be idiots regardless of the presence or absence of alcohol.

Yeah, but WITH alcohol, you don't even have to be an idiot to go out and idiot all over the place.

So...given a few too many glasses of communion Vino under the belt, the Pope himself is likely to lift his skirts and Moon the Christmas public assembly in St Peters Square?

 

[Keith&Co.]

So...given a few too many glasses of communion Vino under the belt, the Pope himself is likely to lift his skirts and Moon the Christmas public assembly in St Peters Square?

Probably more than a few.

I've made a study of inebriated sailors. from my observations as duty driver and shore patrol and being the only guy dumb enough to pick up the barracks phone on St. Patrick's Day, everyone can drink enough to qualify as an idiot.
The only possible exception is to be such a lightweight that you pass out before you try to dance the Naked Macarena. But if you're a lightweight, partying around professionals IS idiotic and you shouldn't have the audacity to look surprised at the photos of what they did to you after you passed out. The makeup, the posing, the mustache in permanent marker, the prostitutes....

 

[C_Mucius_Scaevola]

Looks like I got another phrase to add to my list of idiotic last words, "Fuck That Alligator". As a new listing, it has a long way to go to catch up with the leader, "Hey, watch this", as most frequently used.

Last words may come and go, but they'll never get any better than "they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist- ..."

 

[Earl IV]

Am I the only one disappointed that there seems to be no shaky (vertically shot) phone video?

 

[barbos]

But the sign clearly says "No swimming alligators"

 

[bilby]

But the sign clearly says "No swimming alligators"

So are you making the alligation that it was breaking the rules?

 

[barbos]

But the sign clearly says "No swimming alligators"

So are you making the alligation that it was breaking the rules?

No, just that now dead guy did not break any rules