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He now is saying he needs to tell his christian men's group.

funcouple-husband

Banned
Banned
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
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Location
chicago
Basic Beliefs
conservative
My wife and I belong to a Christian church and about 2 years ago one of the guys and I had a Bi experience together. It happened once and we were both fine with it but now he seems to think he needs to confess it to his men's group and then to his wife. I have told my wife about it and she says he should just let it go and for sure not tell his wife. We know his wife and are pretty sure it would not go well. I really could care less if he says anything but it would probably end his marriage. Give me your input and some "back up" to me telling him to "let it go".
 
I'm going to pretend this is a real thing.

Unless his wife, your wife, or some woman was there, calling it a bi-experience is poor salesmanship. If that makes it easy for him, fine, but nobody else will be buying. There's a reason Catholics make such a big deal about secret confessions. It stays between you and God and whoever your priest tells. It does not test the faith of your spouse and your friends, who now have the burden of "forgive others as I have forgiven you."

That's really your only argument in favor of carrying this secret to his grave. It's an act of selfishness, not an act of contrition. It dumps his guilt on everybody else and accomplishes nothing but make him feel better. In any case, why does your name have to come up? It's one thing to confess ones own sins, but why drag others into it? It's unlikely you are the only one.

Beyond that, never discount the law of intended consequences. Your friend may want out of his marriage, but doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to say it plainly and then walk out. He may see this confession and the expected fallout to relieve him of this relationship, along with a few others. He'll act as if this is his just punishment for his transgression, but it was what he really wanted all along.

Adulterous secrets are seldom as secret as we think they are. His wife may suspect, or actually know about you, or some other man. As long as this secret is kept in a limited circle, she can abide with it. Once it becomes public, she'll have to act, one way or the other.
 
I'm going to pretend this is a real thing.

Unless his wife, your wife, or some woman was there, calling it a bi-experience is poor salesmanship. If that makes it easy for him, fine, but nobody else will be buying. There's a reason Catholics make such a big deal about secret confessions. It stays between you and God and whoever your priest tells. It does not test the faith of your spouse and your friends, who now have the burden of "forgive others as I have forgiven you."

That's really your only argument in favor of carrying this secret to his grave. It's an act of selfishness, not an act of contrition. It dumps his guilt on everybody else and accomplishes nothing but make him feel better. In any case, why does your name have to come up? It's one thing to confess ones own sins, but why drag others into it? It's unlikely you are the only one.

Beyond that, never discount the law of intended consequences. Your friend may want out of his marriage, but doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to say it plainly and then walk out. He may see this confession and the expected fallout to relieve him of this relationship, along with a few others. He'll act as if this is his just punishment for his transgression, but it was what he really wanted all along.

Adulterous secrets are seldom as secret as we think they are. His wife may suspect, or actually know about you, or some other man. As long as this secret is kept in a limited circle, she can abide with it. Once it becomes public, she'll have to act, one way or the other.

First of all, it really did happen (very unexpectedly) and I am sorry it did (at least with this guy anyway). I guess I said BI because we both also have sex with women, but I get your point. Anyway, the rest of what you said I completely agree with and he needs to just buck up and except the fact that he sucked another guys cock and move on with live and keep his fucking mouth shut.
 
Find a better church.

since my husband got kicked off last night for exposing his cock, I think I can answer by saying he should get a different friend and not all women will accept that their husband sucks cock
 
Ummm...it's the new Penthouse Forum approach to Freethought. My idea (shhh....) is that we let it die by neglect. Either that, or everyone changes their mental settings to 'pussy, pussy, pussy, dick, dick, dick, here a boob, there a boob, move your balls so I can see the time' etc. I have more fun with religious doin's.
 
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