Help writing "polite" letter to rude Pastor

[another1]

My little cousin died. Didn't know him well, so not too broken up about it. Still he was blood, and deserving of respect at his funeral.

His funeral was at a Church out in nowhereville. Lot of really old money pouring through the place. Totally rich vibe. Well, everything was going fine with the service until this Pastor (We'll call him Chuck) hops behind a keyboard and starts singing a song that nobody wanted to hear. He did that several times during the service.

Worse yet, 75% of his words were not about my lil cousin. He pushed God in the service when he should have been honoring my lil cousin. My cousin's funeral was hijacked by this asshole thinking he's a rock star.

Then the crowd of selected hot chicks comes on stage and gets to sing. Some people can get away with anything right in front of your face. This is a very ugly man we're talking about. He's getting googly eyes from literally every female present. This man... he has no be put in his place for many reasons. He is an archetypal opportunist and something in his sideways expressions and strange, psychotic smile tell me that he hates himself for it. Maybe he doesn't, which would make him truly evil.

I want to ruin this man with one neatly written letter. I think I can do it. Thing is, I don't want to come on too fast. I move fast with these things and the point gets dulled. Also I don't want my emotions to hurt the eloquence yet I will need the eloquence of my hatred for this man to really polish up the last few paragraphs. I don't want him to disagree with anything I say. I know I can phrase it in such a way - and still have him rocking on the edge of his bed with a loaded 45 every night. This man has no idea what kind of family he has offended. Regardless what happens (ideally Chuck's resignation), I want to give the impression that I am right, because I am.

He pimped God out to grieving people. I've seen plenty of services at Churches where God was only mentioned a couple times. Churches are where poor people have funerals. We threw my Grandfather's at an actual funeral home, but he was a Navy Captain, and he actually did something with his life. His Grandchildren are sort of like pubic hair. Every now and then, one falls off. He endured for 97 years, watching them all go bad. Most recently my lil cuz, but Grampa had died within 72 hours of my cousin. Usually I'm on point with things like this but a double banger put my finances in a pickle. Rarely do two loved ones die at the same time, for totally different reasons.

This Pastor, Chuck, I've done my homework. He has some really shitty fucking quotes. He has a common mind with a habit of lying in everything he does. If I wanted to make a hobby of it, I'd terrorize him through snail mail for the rest of his fucking life, but here are bigger assholes out there, and I need this to be one good deathblow.

What I need from you should be easy to give. Write a letter to any generic Pastor, but don't rush things. Throw in some cryptic hints at Religions' contradictions. Make it flow, as if sayin it aloud would go with sad cello music and the sound of typhoid babies crying. I need imagery of suffering. I need it detailed to the point it makes even you sick to read it. Every atrocity his Religion is responsible for, tied in with an unnervingly focused complaint about his despicable clown act at funerals.

As for the man himself - Chuck... I got Chuck. Don't worry your pretty head. I already know what to say to him. Meditating on how the letters will look. 0.1 tip and nice (but not too nice) paper. This guy is going to shred this letter. He will never let anyone read it. I just want to make sure he does not forget it. It is wrong to behave like that at a funeral. It is wrong to exploit people in general. Chuck's Church is creepy as hell but it (swear to God) smells like freshly printed money when you walk in. They have some clout but I'm sure they deal with a lot of hatred. I'll be low on their hit list, especially since Chuck and myself will be the only people to ever read this letter. You of course can, since it is shake and bake, and you helped.

I am writing this letter from my own personal address, and with my legal name. I can't come off threatening. I'm upset and I deserve to express this out of respect for my family. Maybe you can help with some fundamentals of God hating, for the sake of psychologically torturing someone who deserves it. Confuse him a little. Make him feel stupid for not knowing what is being said about God in the letter. Make him crack open a book and reflect a little. This is a terrible man and you're helping me do a very good thing. His behavior will not fly in my world and you should not let it in yours, which is mine. So yeah. Help me kill this man's spirit and we will live in a slightly better world.

Thank you so much. Have a beautiful day.

 

[Bronzeage]

Okay, step back and take a breathe. As you said, you weren't close, so your influence on the funeral arrangements is minimal, at best. I've been to these kinds of funerals. There actually quite common, especially when held in a church and not a funeral home.

Unless you can point out some errors he made in Scripture, or theology, there is nothing you can do to psychologically torture or confuse him. The technical term for what you want is "hate mail." I'm sure he has seen plenty.

My advice is to concentrate your efforts someplace else and let this one go.

 

[spikepipsqueak]

I want to back up what Bronzeage said.

Any effort you put into this would diminish you without having any effect whatsoever on "Chuck".

He is drawing on what seems to me to be a tradition of showmanship in American churches. It is inappropriate in my view, too, but do you even know if perhaps the child's parents requested those songs, that format?

There are greater injustices out there, and some of that energy could do some good in the world, if turned in positive directions.

That said, kudos to you for not flicking spitballs at him while this was going on, the temptation would have been unbearable; and very sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin. It is so unfair that youngsters don't get to grow up.

 

[another1]

As you said, you weren't close, so your influence on the funeral arrangements is minimal, at best.

This was his Mother's church. Lil cuz went occasionally (I think) but Chuck had no real feeling for lil cuz, and it was painful to watch him pretend to care so much. His Mum was comforted by the presence of her friends and the familiar voice of her Sunday mind rapist. I would have have liked some pictures of lil cuz's social media feed on the (swear to GOD) 250 inch screen hovering over his coffin. Instead, were pictures of Chuck. Chuck makes up words and creates inspirational quotes with them. Bad ones. I don't think he has ever been called out like this, what I have planned. The psychology part is simple because I'm fluent in scumbag. I think I've got his number. This would technically be hate mail but I want it to be more like a sincere letter of disappointment, laced with horrible things that may only dawn on him in afterthought. I feel a Twitter fight is beneath me in this matter so I'm left with two options. Visit him (results in handcuffs and mace) or write a pretty letter. I know words don't mean as much nowadays but a finely written letter moved the world, back in the day. I do need to send some hate mail REALLY SOON. I feel the pull. But yes it is hate mail and he probably has so much, he fuels his mansions with it, for all I know.

do you even know if perhaps the child's parents requested those songs, that format?

Nope she didn't. His Mom seemed put off by his singing. Everyone did. I usually judge a Church by the sound and lighting system. Places in general really. This man must be sitting on millions. The church has SECURITY. They wear BLACK! And they use creepy Bluetooth things in their ears. those MIB weren't present at the funeral because lil cuz isn't important enough. Not a packed house, so he didn't even put much into the "sermon", which was seriously Trumpish. All about himself and the illusion of the church that stood around him - which is really just a big pile of burning money. gives real Churches in the area a bad name.

Other people have complained since the service. Pastor Chuck got some names wrong, and they were written right in front of him! He also got at least one date wrong. I know it was a free service and all, but the fact that Chuck would be advertising himself for free was not in the brochure. It all feels wrong. The whole family says so. If anyone is going to at least write a complaint, it will have to be me. Twitter and other social media are frankly unreal to me. Fleeting and insincere words mostly. I want my skin cells to blow in his face when he opens "the letter". I want him to sense how tightly I gripped the pen. I feel I can't convey unspoken emotion like that in social media. Like I said, I'm not starting a war. Not on Twitter... or in the many bushes surrounding the facility. I just want to write a sincere and thought provoking letter to a man who may be evil. He needs to recognize it. I'm hoping has enough of his own soul left to appreciate and take to heart what I have to say - one time.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

When I see a solicitation for how to write a "polite" letter, my initial instinct is "DON'T WRITE A LETTER."

When someone asks how to write a "polite" letter, it typically means they want to tear someone a new one, but politely, of which, that isn't possible.

 

[Horatio Parker]

When I see a solicitation for how to write a "polite" letter, my initial instinct is "DON'T WRITE A LETTER."

When someone asks how to write a "polite" letter, it typically means they want to tear someone a new one, but politely, of which, that isn't possible.

Or, write it sans politeness, but don't send it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[another1]

Well. There is evil. In fact I can reach out to it with a letter. In letter writing the subject is about the recipient 50% more times than in a social media conversation, which always gravitates back to ourselves, our brands bleh and etc. Wtf ever on that, but there is evil. I know evil when I see it. Nothing in this video has ANYTHING to do with God. This man does not speak for any God. He speaks for himself. Notice the row of groupies swaying in the front. I think I saw a woman doing a Hitler greeting. Gross. As I dig deeper, I see comments here and there about affairs and financial scandals. More than you'd see orbiting the average Pastor trying to run a poor Church.
So he may be ready to fall anyway.

From the looks of his insanity, he may actually believe he is a good man. This letter idea sounds frivolous. It is free to go to a service, as I understand. I am by nature very good with reptiles. Maybe I should take some snakes with me. Totally acceptable Christian behavior thank you very much. Maybe I'll speak in demonic tongues. It is a free country isn't it? These people look beyond saving and they look a little "lynch mobbish", back there in the singing section. Maybe I should roll up in there with some backup and PLENTY of delightful footage of the event. Streamed live in case we're captured and thrown down a coal shaft.

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i441PixTkpE[/YOUTUBE]

The uploader is no doubt a Chuck fan, and he totally doesn't look like a psychotic pedophile with a giant gun collection. Out of respect for the uploader I'll have to remove this in a few hours.

 

[another1]

YeH I can't remove the vid now. Screw the guy though. He uploaded it publically.

 

[fast]

I smell anger with a level of bitterness that originates from something else, probably non-specific events that has built upon cumulations of angst over time. He might be worthy of a short verbal jab, but a letter of perfection commensurate with your wrath fully released seems excessive. Let this one go.

 

[another1]

Yeah Chuck is beyond helping and he has made his own hell. I don't need to intervene. I bet he is the shadiest prick... You see it too, right? I bet he will be in prison soon. Not for the charismatic witchcraft and outright spiritual rape, but more likely bad taxes, child porn or something common with people like him. Good olfactory gland you have there btw. Chuck is off the hook for now.

See you in heaven lil cuz. I tried to make it right, but they're just too powerful, and I am but one man. I did donate a grave plot to you, lil cuz. It is under a tree. Was saving that one for myself but cremation is feeling more suitable lately. World demise takes my mind off little things like grave plots. I'm 22% certain that I will end up in a plastic FEMA coffin. Maybe you got lucky, lil cuz. Consciousness is indestructible and all encompassing, so I know you're still hanging around somewhere. Next time I'll be less of a dick to you.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

You must be unfamiliar with how Catholicism operates. Catholicism is always spaceman first and family second - and that never changes. Funerals are only apparently about respecting the deceased when in reality they are about glorifying the spaceman. The sooner you understand and accept this the happier you will be.

Personally I wouldn't waste my energy. If anything, I'd let it rattle around a bit and perhaps a better way of dealing with your feelings on the matter will come along. We've all met decent clerics but generally they're supremacist assholes interested in how much money they can collect in a given week because that's their first responsibility.

 

[another1]

I don't think Christ Temple is a Catholic Church though.

The rest of what you said is acceptable.

 

[purple_kathryn]

I still get a bit annoyed at the reverend who took my aunts funeral. (Presbyterian). So we're at the house first where he does a bit of sermon and makes this really big stretch between my aunt liking horse racing and sometimes they used horses to plough fields to oxen ploughing fields in the bible.

So we do our walk behind the coffin with the fellas taking turns carrying it for a bit and then we go to the crematorium. There's 1 crematorium in the whole of NI. So you get an allotted time and this is the bit that really fucked me off. This guy made a comment about how he didn't have time to mention my aunts grandkids (after going through the names of her kids) but proceeded to run 20 mins over talking about how happy he was about being able to bring people to Jesus - yeah, you haven't here mate.

 

[another1]

I still get a bit annoyed at the reverend who took my aunts funeral. (Presbyterian). So we're at the house first where he does a bit of sermon and makes this really big stretch between my aunt liking horse racing and sometimes they used horses to plough fields to oxen ploughing fields in the bible.

So we do our walk behind the coffin with the fellas taking turns carrying it for a bit and then we go to the crematorium. There's 1 crematorium in the whole of NI. So you get an allotted time and this is the bit that really fucked me off. This guy made a comment about how he didn't have time to mention my aunts grandkids (after going through the names of her kids) but proceeded to run 20 mins over talking about how happy he was about being able to bring people to Jesus - yeah, you haven't here mate.

Oh man. Your Aunt was the victim of a real opportunist. I wonder if the rush of bringing people to Jesus eventually becomes what funerals are about, to these monsters? They call them to Jesus weekly with the emotional output of a butcher discarding entrails. It is a job to them I suppose. Remember the Grandkids' names and remember to mention his beloved dog Rambo. Man these guys are not fit to bury their own turds. I remember misdatings and excluded names from so many Christian funerals. Funeral culture is big in WV with the Carfentanil citrate wave blowing through. It has actually made my city overdose capital of the nation. Thank you, Carfentanil citrate. I'm deep in funeral culture man and it is some spooky stuff I'd like out of. I've been to like ten in the past couple years. Heroin deaths. I skipped 400? Who the hell knows.

So anyway, the funerals (high school reunions) get hijacked by a God that is so absolutely foreign to some of these attendees... problems do brew. I seriously despise the way these guys do this, but if you're going to use a Church, you're subject to their representatives, who happen to not give a fuck about the person being buried. We know we are in a Goddamn Church. What more needs to be said about God? They turn death into a lecture that makes me physically uncomfortable to hear.

 

[Bronzeage]

I still get a bit annoyed at the reverend who took my aunts funeral. (Presbyterian). So we're at the house first where he does a bit of sermon and makes this really big stretch between my aunt liking horse racing and sometimes they used horses to plough fields to oxen ploughing fields in the bible.

So we do our walk behind the coffin with the fellas taking turns carrying it for a bit and then we go to the crematorium. There's 1 crematorium in the whole of NI. So you get an allotted time and this is the bit that really fucked me off. This guy made a comment about how he didn't have time to mention my aunts grandkids (after going through the names of her kids) but proceeded to run 20 mins over talking about how happy he was about being able to bring people to Jesus - yeah, you haven't here mate.

The best funeral I have attended in a while was for my wife's aunt, a thoroughly horrible person. This is the woman who gave up two children for adoption, one as an infant and one at 18 months. She had two other children, which she abandoned at the Alabama state line when a state trooper told her she could not take them out of state, without their father's consent. He was a US soldier stationed in Germany, at the time. Her mother in law had ratted her out, so she left a two year old boy and his five year old sister on the shoulder and headed for Louisiana. This is just one of many sordid tales told of Aunt Janette.

There was a short period in her life when she found Jesus, but true to form, she took advantage of everyone while they were in a forgiving phase. It didn't last long. She lived a good bit longer than anyone expected and when she died, only my mother in law had the least bit of compassion for her. Her abandoned children and the two adopted ones had found each other and went on a couple group vacations, without telling her about it.

My mother in law appealed to her church, so Janette could have a Christian service. I had to see this. The Assistant Pastor who was given this task had never met her, but he had been told a few stories about her. He had one resource, the Bible Janette had used in her churchy phase. It contained a dozen or so highlighted verses, so he thumbed through the Bible, stopping to read the verse Janette had underlined and said a few words about its significance in her life. I sat in the back row of a quarter filled chapel and smiled. All in all, it was nice service.

 

[another1]

Wow what a horrible woman was she. Bible came through for her huh. I've only had one Aunt funeral. Her college photos slideshow turned me on.. so I glanced at the oversized Crucifix a few times and daydreamed the rest of the way lol. I think I was daydreaming about hell.

 

[purple_kathryn]

I still get a bit annoyed at the reverend who took my aunts funeral. (Presbyterian). So we're at the house first where he does a bit of sermon and makes this really big stretch between my aunt liking horse racing and sometimes they used horses to plough fields to oxen ploughing fields in the bible.

So we do our walk behind the coffin with the fellas taking turns carrying it for a bit and then we go to the crematorium. There's 1 crematorium in the whole of NI. So you get an allotted time and this is the bit that really fucked me off. This guy made a comment about how he didn't have time to mention my aunts grandkids (after going through the names of her kids) but proceeded to run 20 mins over talking about how happy he was about being able to bring people to Jesus - yeah, you haven't here mate.

The best funeral I have attended in a while was for my wife's aunt, a thoroughly horrible person. This is the woman who gave up two children for adoption, one as an infant and one at 18 months. She had two other children, which she abandoned at the Alabama state line when a state trooper told her she could not take them out of state, without their father's consent. He was a US soldier stationed in Germany, at the time. Her mother in law had ratted her out, so she left a two year old boy and his five year old sister on the shoulder and headed for Louisiana. This is just one of many sordid tales told of Aunt Janette.

There was a short period in her life when she found Jesus, but true to form, she took advantage of everyone while they were in a forgiving phase. It didn't last long. She lived a good bit longer than anyone expected and when she died, only my mother in law had the least bit of compassion for her. Her abandoned children and the two adopted ones had found each other and went on a couple group vacations, without telling her about it.

My mother in law appealed to her church, so Janette could have a Christian service. I had to see this. The Assistant Pastor who was given this task had never met her, but he had been told a few stories about her. He had one resource, the Bible Janette had used in her churchy phase. It contained a dozen or so highlighted verses, so he thumbed through the Bible, stopping to read the verse Janette had underlined and said a few words about its significance in her life. I sat in the back row of a quarter filled chapel and smiled. All in all, it was nice service.

A friends husband died last year and the service was just at the house& the religious bit still bored the balls off me but it was one of the nicer funerals I've sadly attended

 

[Philos]

Hi another1,

Sorry to hear what has happened.

Letters of protest tend to grow a life of their own IMHO. A psycho doctor once suggested this: "Write the letter, let all your feelings out in the letter, and then tear it up."

Not easy to do!

A.

 

[another1]

Hi another1,

Sorry to hear what has happened.

Letters of protest tend to grow a life of their own IMHO. A psycho doctor once suggested this: "Write the letter, let all your feelings out in the letter, and then tear it up."

Not easy to do!

A.

I'd rather write a letter that does the tearing on its own. That isn't easy either. It can be done... but it requires a lot of psychic energy. If you truly hate someone, a sort of halo should surround your letter and it should affect the reader significantly. I've had letters like that sent to me.

Letter writing is a new hobby of mine, and I hate lots of things about the supposed righteous. Moving from Twitter to paper seems more personal to me. Dunno, but some major reform is coming. We're going to clean up these Churches within in a 20 mile radius. 20 miles I have claimed as mine. What I say goes. Not too much to ask. I deserve more, but I'll deal with that later. Know what I'm saying. New funeral procedures will be in place by 2020. Trust.

 

[Rhea]

I'd rather write a letter that does the tearing on its own.

I find your desire to tear someone down disturbing. For me, personally transgressions like these fall into three categories. Those you can forgive because of the flaws of the other person, those that you can forgive because of their flaws and want to follow with rehabilitation or growth to prevent recurrence, and those you can forgive because of their flaws and want to erect distance or barriers to protect yourself from inevitable recurrence.

The problem, IMHO, with "Help me kill this man's spirit" is that it does not achieve any of the above objectives. A person who is crushed, whose spirit is killed, to whom you have dealt a death blow, is unlikely to _learn_ anything that will prevent a recurrence. Too much nuclear, not enough rehab.

Just my personal opinion; you sound like you are seeking revenge, seeking to make him hurt. I find that desire disturbing in how close you behavior comes to his.