"cop" writes:
Even though it might sound harsh and impolitic, here is the bottom line: if you don’t want to get shot, tased, pepper-sprayed, struck with a baton or thrown to the ground, just do what I tell you. Don’t argue with me, don’t call me names, don’t tell me that I can’t stop you, don’t say I’m a racist pig, don’t threaten that you’ll sue me and take away my badge. Don’t scream at me that you pay my salary, and don’t even think of aggressively walking towards me. Most field stops are complete in minutes. How difficult is it to cooperate for that long?
and it makes my stomach churn. As a middle-aged white woman, I grew up with the "Officer Friendly" model, and most of my personal encounters with police officers have been positive or, at least, neutral. Most of my encounters with police have also been when they were being civilians themselves - home buyers, Girl Scout leaders, neighbors, etc - which creates a very different dynamic. My point being that, as individual human beings, nearly every cop I have ever met has been a wonderful, caring person.
But in the majority of encounters I've had with police officers in their official capacities, the incidents have been negative. Not negative enough for me to be killed or beaten, but negative. The one in particular that the above quoted passage brings to mind is the day I chaperoned my daughter to her first "festival" style concert. When we arrived, police had everyone queuing based on whether they were carrying a bag or not. I had my bag, my daughter did not. I was very uneasy about being separated from my daughter in the crowd, but I was raised to obey police - just like "cop" above demands we do.
I was able to keep my eye on my daughter in her line as I moved forward in mine all the way to the actual check-point. Even then, I remained calm and as soon as I was past the checkpoint I immediately started searching the other checkpoint lines for my daughter. A cop approached and demanded (not nicely) that I get off the pavement and onto the grassy area. I tried to explain that I was searching for my young daughter still coming through the que, but he refused to listen. He just got more aggressive and loud, and started using his body to force me further into the park. I broke left and went to the grassy area as close to the entrance as I could, still trying to spot my little daughter in the crowd with my fear and anxiety rising rapidly. The cop, instead of being satisfied that I was on the grassy area as he unreasonably demanded, followed me, now screaming at me because the toe of my boot was still on the pavement. He was also purposely using his body to block my view of the extrance.
Why was he doing this? I have absolutely no idea. At no point was I doing anything wrong or illegal. I was simply an increasingly frightened mother looking for her lost daughter. Did I start screaming at this son-of-a-bitch at this point? hell yes. I was screaming at him that my daughter was lost in the crowd and I needed his help to find her. Did he care? No. Instead, he was threatening to arrest me. For what!? For being upset that my daughter was missing? At this point, I truly did lose it as only a fellow parent can understand. I started screaming bloody murder, ran around that asshole and back onto the pavement, screaming to everyone in sight that my daughter was missing and that the cop was blocking me from finding her. The commotion caught the attention of two other cops, one of whom turned out to be a supervisor. The commotion also caught the attention of my daughter who recognized my voice and came towards me. It was a really surreal situation that could have turned very ugly very fast, but the supervisor kept his cool even as the asshole cop was demanding that I be ejected from the concert. Again, I ask... for what?
So when I read what was written by "cop" in the passage I quoted (and the entire article), I know from very personal experience that it is utter bullshit. I think it can be considered a truism that when "civilians" encounter police in their official capacity, it is because there is something gone wrong. Leaving aside "stop and frisk" situations (which are wrong on their face), the public typically encounters a police officer during a traumatic event - after a rape, robbery, accident, mugging, lost child, theft, fight, etc.
I find it interesting that "cop" demands a higher level of self-possession from the untrained public during a crisis than he demands of supposedly trained police officers. And even people who typically remain calm in the face of a crisis can be provoked into a reaction by the behavior of the police - my situation was case in point.
I ultimately did all of these things: "don’t threaten that you’ll sue me and take away my badge. Don’t scream at me that you pay my salary, and don’t even think of aggressively walking towards me" - and he deserved it. HIS behavior caused it, not mine. My only regret is that I didn't follow through. I was so relieved to have located my daughter, and didn't want to ruin her concert experience, that I didn't bother getting that jerk's name and badge number, didn't follow up the next day to file a formal complaint. I should have, though I knew even then it would not have mattered - he would not have been reprimanded.
But my answer to "cop" is "no". No, I will not agree with nor support your demand that the general public must always ask "how high" to your demands that we jump. We, the general public, are not criminals or "perps". We ARE the people who pay your salary whether you like hearing it or not. We ARE the people you are supposed to be helping and protecting. No, I will not accept your demand that WE watch our tone or our conduct when interacting with you during our times of crisis. It is YOUR job to stay calm, not mine. YOU were trained in crisis management, not me. It was MY daughter that was missing. YOU were supposed to help me. Instead your arrogance and expectation that I ignore the very real crisis of my missing daughter to comply with your unneccessary and ridiculous commands meant that YOU escalated a situation that never should have been escalated. So don't you dare tell me that I am the one that needed to stay calm and cooperative because you demanded it. Who the fuck do you think you are anyway?
And here's the thing... I was raised to respect you, respect your uniform. I, a middle-aged white woman, was raised on the "Officer Friendly" model until you, "cop", destroyed that belief during my moment of crisis.
