What’s not confusing to me is that the intent of the OP, based on their further questions, seems to be a desire to walk away with the “proof” that “ALL atheists believe in God(dess)(es)”.  Whether that is to assuage the OP’s own conflicts by “proving” that he’s not alone in his uncertainties or whether it is to bring this proof the Christians at CARM where he deceives them into thinking he’s a Christian to bring this tale, is uncertain.  But it’s clear he is pushing various ambiguities and language assertions to drive toward a claim that **ALL** atheists “believe in God(dess)(es),” and he is not satisfied if one other atheist, or if a few other atheists, or if some other atheists believe this, he is intent on twisting the use of coherent language until he can claim that he’s proved ALL of us do.
If this were not about appeasing the discomfort of him or his christian friends, if it were really about a deep discussion of human psyche, the questions would look a lot different. And every attempt to drive the conversation to that exploratory depth is reined back in to, “but you definitely believe, I declare it so”.
At this point…. Whatever, dude, you be you. I’m clearly not a human being to you, who has her own brain and decisions and beliefs or lack thereof. I’m just a character in one of those smarmy christian stories where they make up scenarios to have a feel-good moment at the end, elevating christianity.
				
			If this were not about appeasing the discomfort of him or his christian friends, if it were really about a deep discussion of human psyche, the questions would look a lot different. And every attempt to drive the conversation to that exploratory depth is reined back in to, “but you definitely believe, I declare it so”.
At this point…. Whatever, dude, you be you. I’m clearly not a human being to you, who has her own brain and decisions and beliefs or lack thereof. I’m just a character in one of those smarmy christian stories where they make up scenarios to have a feel-good moment at the end, elevating christianity.