Mormons: your stupid story still makes no sense!

[NobleSavage]

The Mormon church's push toward transparency about its roots and beliefs took another step forward Tuesday with the first published pictures of a small sacred stone it believes founder Joseph Smith used to help translate a story that became the basis of the religion.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...ight-on-joseph-smith_55c0e22ae4b0c9fdc75dfd79

:laughing-smiley-014

 

[ideologyhunter]

Omigod!!! The fabulous 'peep stone'!! What a holy relic. To the uninitiated in the wondrous mysteries of Joseph Smith, this is thought to be the same peep stone that got him arrested as a fraud and public nuisance about two years before the Hill Cumorah yielded up its sacred scripture. He was using the stone then to con gullible farmers in southwest NY state to pay him a fee to locate hidden treasures buried in their acreage with the use of this amazing stone. He was tried (literally as a 'glass looker' or, we would say, phony mystic), convicted, charged court costs, and ordered to leave the area. But, you know, people change. It's possible Joseph reformed himself after that and really was contacted by God and Jesus and a floating angel in his bedroom to dig up the golden plates o' Mormon. Ya gotta have faith, people.
BTW, I believe this is my 1,000th post, which we atheists celebrate with a literal Feast of the Soul, supplied by our dark father. On my 666th post, I selected a slice of Jerry Falwell's soul, lightly sauteed in salt-free butter and with a side of fava beans (I admit that part wasn't too original.) This time I have requested a filet of John Calvin's soul, blanched (because I understand it arrives already charred), rubbed with garlic and tarragon, rolled in flour, and lightly fried in canola oil. Side dish tapioca, because what the hell (literally), and diet caffeine-free Dr. Pepper.

 

[C_Mucius_Scaevola]

Is that the stone that hit Joseph Smith on the head and made him hallucinate a meeting with Gawd?

 

[Underseer]

Is that the stone that hit Joseph Smith on the head and made him hallucinate a meeting with Gawd?

No, that is the magic stone that Smith used to translate golden plates that were in a hat.

 

[bilby]

Is that the stone that hit Joseph Smith on the head and made him hallucinate a meeting with Gawd?

No, that is the magic stone that Smith used to translate golden plates that were in a hat.

Hence the common response to the Book of Mormon: 'Is this guy stoned?'

 

[Atheos]

It's my opinion that Joseph Smith did more to further the cause of rationalism than anyone else in the last millennium. By demonstrating just how ridiculous a pile of bullshit someone can sell in the name of religion he singlehandedly continues to serve as a devastating argument against people like Lumpenproletariat who parrot this idiotic dogma that people don't generally believe claims about miraculous events without evidence. Millions of Mormons are all we need to demonstrate how false that statement is.

 

[Keith&Co.]

No, that is the magic stone that Smith used to translate golden plates that were in a hat.

Hence the common response to the Book of Mormon: 'Is this guy stoned?'

No, but the 'stone' suddenly makes the frequency of 'it came to pass' in the BOM a little ominous....

 

[Potoooooooo]

Well, it is a pretty rock

 

[Atheos]

Never name your religion something that sounds that much like "moron."

 

[bilby]

Never name your religion something that sounds that much like "moron."

Yeah, he should have gone with his first idea, and written 'The Book of Idiat'

 

[SLD]

From the article:

"The other churches' origins are concealed by the mist of history," Givens said. "Mormonism is the first world religion in which the origins were exposed to public view, to documentation, to journalists and newspaper reporting."

Sigh. If only it wasn't.

SLD

 

[thebeave]

That can't possibly be a real, sacred religious artifact. If it was real, our faces would do this when he saw the picture. Mormonism is such a scam.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

That "stone" looks like a piece of fucking wood.

 

[fta]

That can't possibly be a real, sacred religious artifact. If it was real, our faces would do this when he saw the picture. Mormonism is such a scam.

View attachment 3624

Funny you should mention Raiders of the Lost Ark...

 

[Atheos]

The angel who led him to the golden plates was Moroni. Isn't that the plural of moron?

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

The angel who led him to the golden plates was Moroni. Isn't that the plural of moron?

Moroni or Moronus. Both could apply.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

The angel who led him to the golden plates was Moroni. Isn't that the plural of moron?

I think it means that Smith was having a laugh at all the people who might believe him. Sort of like how Hubbard put the word science in Scientology just because he liked irony.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

The angel who led him to the golden plates was Moroni. Isn't that the plural of moron?

I think it means that Smith was having a laugh at all the people who might believe him. Sort of like how Hubbard put the word science in Scientology just because he liked irony.

We can call the followers Moronists. The religion is Moronism.

Not picking on these guys specifically BTW. It's all pretty funny.

And it all started with a little rock made of wood.

 

[Kharakov]

I think it means that Smith was having a laugh at all the people who might believe him. Sort of like how Hubbard put the word science in Scientology just because he liked irony.

We can call the followers Moronists. The religion is Moronism.

Not picking on these guys specifically BTW. It's all pretty funny.

And it all started with a little rock made of wood.

The last thing anyone wanted was more monism, unless it was non tyrannical, and easy to make fun of.

 

[Bacillus anthracis]

I once polished up a rock that looked suspiciously similar to that in my 8th grade lapidary class. So that's where it went?

Fuck. That would have given me a B- instead of C+.