ideologyhunter
Contributor
The Vatican recognizes over 10,000 saints, so it can be difficult to know which one to petition for a specific need. Here is my list of the least appreciated patron saints. Each one is followed by, first, the saint's specialty; second, the preferred form of supplication; and last, the feast day for that saint. May your prayers be answered.
Saint Buffy/tanning salons and dip dyes/3 votive candles and a choker necklace or charm bracelet (at least a Zales)/any day Tavern on the Green is open
Saint Sigourney/Dutch braids (don't scoff, these can be murder)/eggnog votive candle and Viking hair clasp/Kerstfeest
Saint Karen/confrontations with middle and upper mgmt. (I have prayed to her, and she gets the job done)/vanilla caramel votive candle and neck ring or longyi/Tax Freedom Day (She is the only saint who says 'Oh, Hell to the No' with a fey ghetto accent)
Saint Bill/on-road tire repairs/Brut-scented votive candles and holy tire iron cross/any sandwich debut at BK
Saint Waylon/frog gigging/LED headlamp for hardhat (in place of candles)/church potluck, your choice
Saint Jeff/monogrammed polo shirts/Acqua di Gio votive candle and Clif Bar (especially Coffee Collection and no Crunchy Peanut Butter)/No feast day, watch that gluten
Saint Buffy/tanning salons and dip dyes/3 votive candles and a choker necklace or charm bracelet (at least a Zales)/any day Tavern on the Green is open
Saint Sigourney/Dutch braids (don't scoff, these can be murder)/eggnog votive candle and Viking hair clasp/Kerstfeest
Saint Karen/confrontations with middle and upper mgmt. (I have prayed to her, and she gets the job done)/vanilla caramel votive candle and neck ring or longyi/Tax Freedom Day (She is the only saint who says 'Oh, Hell to the No' with a fey ghetto accent)
Saint Bill/on-road tire repairs/Brut-scented votive candles and holy tire iron cross/any sandwich debut at BK
Saint Waylon/frog gigging/LED headlamp for hardhat (in place of candles)/church potluck, your choice
Saint Jeff/monogrammed polo shirts/Acqua di Gio votive candle and Clif Bar (especially Coffee Collection and no Crunchy Peanut Butter)/No feast day, watch that gluten