People not owning up to social punishment without hysterics

[repoman]

I find it interesting how few people don't take the punishment in stride they know will come if they get caught.

As example, a guy who gets caught cheating on his girlfriend. Why not say "The sex with the other girl was good, but I lost the gamble of having two girls and I accept that this relationship is now over", (This in addition to being sorry, if true, for wasting his gf's time).

Or somebody who embezzled or shoplifted begging the mercy of the court. They knew damn well what would happen, they should save their breath and dignity.

Why does this happen? Does the family dynamic effect this? Is it more often in broken homes?

 

[bilby]

I find it interesting how few people don't take the punishment in stride they know will come if they get caught.

As example, a guy who gets caught cheating on his girlfriend. Why not say "The sex with the other girl was good, but I lost the gamble of having two girls and I accept that this relationship is now over", (This in addition to being sorry, if true, for wasting his gf's time).

Or somebody who embezzled or shoplifted begging the mercy of the court. They knew damn well what would happen, they should save their breath and dignity.

Why does this happen? Does the family dynamic effect this? Is it more often in broken homes?

Breath and dignity are cheap. If pleading one's case has a small but real chance of mitigating the severity of the punishment, why not put in that tiny effort?

People do it because it works - and that's likely not a conscious decision on their part, but an evolved response in a social species.

My dog cringes and/or rolls on his back in submission when he is caught doing something he shouldn't. Stealing food from the other dog's bowl (or from my plate) carries the risk of being caught; Cringing when caught might reduce the severity of his punishment - or even prevent any punishment at all - and it costs him nothing. Humans do the same; We are social animals.

 

[Bronzeage]

I find it interesting how few people don't take the punishment in stride they know will come if they get caught.

As example, a guy who gets caught cheating on his girlfriend. Why not say "The sex with the other girl was good, but I lost the gamble of having two girls and I accept that this relationship is now over", (This in addition to being sorry, if true, for wasting his gf's time).

Or somebody who embezzled or shoplifted begging the mercy of the court. They knew damn well what would happen, they should save their breath and dignity.

Why does this happen? Does the family dynamic effect this? Is it more often in broken homes?

If everything in life were such a simple either/or choice, such decisions would be easy.

The motivations for cheating or stealing are always more complicated than "I wanted to have two girls," or "I wanted the money." It is rare for the cheater or the shoplifter to understand their own reasons. There is seldom a full internal discussion of the possible consequences.

Social punishment, as you describe it, is not like a hockey player's 10 minutes in the penalty box. The hockey player goes back on the ice, completely restored to his former status. The cheater and the thief do not get such relief. It's natural they will try to reduce the severity of their imposed punishment, because the effects will be very long lasting.

 

[Malintent]

It's a Christian thing. Say you're sorry and go to heaven.
The judicial system has adopted this in penalty determination. Degree of Remorse matters (to good Christian judges)

 

[Lion IRC]

It's a Christian thing. Say you're sorry and go to heaven.
The judicial system has adopted this in penalty determination. Degree of Remorse matters (to good Christian judges)

Gee, that's not my idea of Christianity.

Remorse, with the prior expectation of forgiveness, is not something you can fake with God.

You might be able to do it as a PR exercise to save your career if you are a social media celebrity or movie actor. But remorse is no get-out-of-jail free card. There's no 'hall pass' in Christianity.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Remorse, with the prior expectation of forgiveness, is not something you can fake with God.

Actually, as near as we atheists can tell, you fake everything with God.

But remorse is no get-out-of-jail free card.

Well, that depends on the particular version you're placing your trust in. Some are quite insistent that if even Hitler actually felt remorse at the end, he'd be in Heaven.
That's the whole point of Last Rites.

 

[bigfield]

Actually, as near as we atheists can tell, you fake everything with God.

It's for the sake of his self-esteem.

 

[Shadowy Man]

These kinds of people follow the old saying: "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission."

 

[fromderinside]

People come into situations with different expectations and world views. For instance Mutt sees his money in your pocket so he takes it. On the other hand Sluggo is broke and he 'needs' money. He sees some in in your pocket. He also sees he's younger and bigger than you. So he takes it.

Tommy the gun knows there are laws. He talks the time. But he also sees that many get away with stealing even if they are caught. He plays the odds and takes your money.

All the above are more or less normal people in our society. Still we have traditions, rules, and laws built from other traditions rules and laws. Most of us just get along living withing most of the traditions, rules and laws within which we live.

Now the rub. All the people in the first live within our society more or less aware of traditions rules and laws and our society still continues to function.

Then along comes Trump and everyone begins to realize these traditions rules and laws are just put there to keep us from flying apart if we behave one way. He suggests his traditions, rules and laws are better. He cites how they've worked in the past or how his rules would improve how we stand in the world today. Trump paints a future where those who are being stomped on now would be ruling if they follow him.

Is it good day to our traditions, rules, and laws? Such has been the case in the past.

 

[untermensche]

I find it interesting how few people don't take the punishment in stride they know will come if they get caught.

As example, a guy who gets caught cheating on his girlfriend. Why not say "The sex with the other girl was good, but I lost the gamble of having two girls and I accept that this relationship is now over", (This in addition to being sorry, if true, for wasting his gf's time).

Or somebody who embezzled or shoplifted begging the mercy of the court. They knew damn well what would happen, they should save their breath and dignity.

Why does this happen? Does the family dynamic effect this? Is it more often in broken homes?

People don't stop being self-centered just because they get caught.