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Politics of not wanting your child to marry a transgender person

repoman said:
Oh, so interchanging race for gender makes sense for rhetorical arguments?
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As a trait that's not really anything like Mom or Dad's business, or something that makes sense for others to caution a bride/groom against?
I think it's quite close.
Gender is much more basal to the human experience.
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Possibly.
However, I noticed the other day that I have not seen any dicks or pussies among my coworkers in the last 15 years.
And yet, every single day, I refer to them as 'he' or 'she.' They present as a male or female and no one challenges them. I don't know for SURE that Janet isn't really a guy with some or more surgery, but I am pretty sure she's the same race as the guy she introduces as her boyfriend. Although, actually, considering how light-skinned my kids are, that may be a mistaken assumption, too.
 
repoman said:
Somehow I got reminded of an old Jamie Kennedy Experiment bit where Jamie played a a transgender bride to get married in Las Vegas and the groom had set up his family to be pranked. At the time I laughed so hard I literally almost fell out of my chair.

So, basically I think that while it is good for the transgender to be married and not live alone with all the problems that come from that, what about the cis man? Can he do better?

Also, the parents are wanting genetic grandchildren I assume. (My opinion about massive overpopulation doesn't matter to regular people obviously).

Imagine that there was a real video made now (in the time of instant outrage internet culture) of parents rationally trying to persuade a son not to marry a transwoman with no insults or slurs thrown in. Would the parents be publicly shamed or in danger of losing their jobs? How far does this rabbit hole go?
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Why does politics enter into it? Why does most everything seem to be concerned with politics? Are we that badly focused in our thinking?
 
Tom Sawyer said:
Tigers! said:
Why does politics enter into it? Why does most everything seem to be concerned with politics? Are we that badly focused in our thinking?
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Not all of us. Only the Republicans.
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Was the OP posted by a republican? If not it sort of invalidates your comment.
 
Tigers! said:
Why does politics enter into it?
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Well, the position of NOT screaming and tearing your hair out over your son's wedding to your new son-in-law would be taking a politically correct stance. So obviously it's a political struggle to communicate your concerns without appearing to be judgmental. Or just mental.
 
Parents usually want what is best for their children. It can be hard for parents of one generation to look at the 'new reality' where transgendered persons are more accepted and to see only the potential for difficulties for their child who is about to enter into a nontraditional type marriage. And also many parents hope to be grandparents someday. Sure, there are technologies which can help couples have biological offspring but those are quite expensive and uncertain. So is adoption.

Parents are hard wired to see dangers and obstacles for their offspring and to want to avoid these because they love their children and also to ensure the passing of their own genes. One of the things that is hard about being the parent of adults is seeing them make choices which will be harder and may cause foreseeable pain.
 
So, I don't want any kid I have to bring home a transgendered person. Mostly because transgendered, today, means a person grew up in a society where people are expected to be gendered, and then was brought up being expected to be one of those predefined genders, wasn't, was forced to validate that their personality was closer to some other category, was forced to adopt THAT category by societal expectation (even if it still doesn't fit them well), have surgery to fix whatever problems that going through the wrong puberty gave them, and then live for years with the stigma that our society put on them for it. That shit seriously destabilizes people, as I've seen repeatedly between my ex-spouse's transition, and the transition of an old housemate, and the transition of a person who I almost got into a toxic friendship with. No person under the age of 30 is prepared to deal with the scope of damage our society inflicts on people who have been that heavily fucked by conformity expectations.

I'll be happy when kids are universally denied puberty until after they are old enough to know who they are and how they want to be, and that decision isn't stigmatized (even if it's to remain un-puberty'd), and where 'genderedness' is seen as silly childish bullshit. In a world like that, I'd be happy to see a kid I raise date anyone they wish. But in today's world, they should wait until they're old enough to write good poetry.
 
Jarhyn said:
Mostly because transgendered, today, means a person grew up in a society where people are expected to be gendered, and then was brought up being expected to be one of those predefined genders, wasn't, was forced to validate that their personality was closer to some other category, was forced to adopt THAT category by societal expectation.
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Speaking as a transgender person who started transitioning just recently, I am not forced to validate my personality in line with another gender category or expectations. While I understand forcing gender norms on people is a problem which exists in many cultures, it's a problem which is not inextricably connected to having generalized gender norms. Most of the time I feel I am heading toward androgyny, and I cannot be too fussed about gender expectations and how well I align, but there are times where the existence of gender norms gives me some very accessible tools to explore social and emotional aspects of transitioning well before my body and treatments have caught up. It facilitates the process for those who do feel their gender falls within the binary. Almost all people, cisgender or transgender, do not perfectly match all gender stereotypes of their culture, but there is such a thing of feeling male or female, and there are many reasons people may want to connect that feeling to their culture and social environment.

There are certainly non-binary gender identities and experiences, and I don't ever see a reason to force non-binary concepts into binary definitions and expectations, but this doesn't mean that those who do identify with binary definitions were forced. You, as a third party, would have little basis for such an assumption if your child brought home a person who identified as a transgender person (who despite using that term, may or may not fit within gender binaries).

I guess the important point here is there are two closely related yet very different things here. The first is the individual experience of the individual transgender person your hypothetical child is bringing home, and the second is the issue of forcing gender concepts onto people. The former is very personal and you'd have to converse with a person to gleam some understanding of what it all means to them. The former is an issue which applies to all people of all gender identities, though it may disproportionately affect transgender people.
 
Tigers! said:
Keith&Co. said:
My Dad's biggest worry was that at the time we married, it was a mixed marriage: I was a submarine Weaponeer and she was surface fleet, from Supply.
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I can understand his concern.
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One of my ex-bosses lived in a Texas small town so conservative and religious that a "mixed marriage" highly disapproved of involved a Presbyterian marrying a member of the Church of Christ.
 
credoconsolans said:
Tigers! said:
I can understand his concern.
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One of my ex-bosses lived in a Texas small town so conservative and religious that a "mixed marriage" highly disapproved of involved a Presbyterian marrying a member of the Church of Christ.
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In that case, it would make sense to hire a transsexual to introduce as your bride. And as everyone's freak-out hits maximum volume, you laugh and say, 'Sorry, haha, it's just a joke. I'm not marrying a former Marine sniper. I'm marrying Kallistos, here. She's Mormon."
And everyone relaxes and thanks god for your actual intended...

Just be sure to video tape it. "What? But Mom! On Sunday Night you were all supportive of Kallistos! See the smile?"
 
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