Pope Francis says ‘All animals go to heaven’

[NobleSavage]

During his weekly audience at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis broke from Catholic teaching in order to declare that all animals do, in fact, go to heaven.
During his address Francis quoted the apostle Paul as saying, “One day we will see our animals again in eternity of Christ.” Francis went on to add:
“Paradise is open to all God’s creatures.”

The Pope’s new position is markedly different from that of Pope Benedict XVI who said that non-human animals “are not called to the eternal life.”
In a 2008 sermon Benedict closed the doors of heaven firmly to pets and other animals by saying:
“For other creatures, who are not called to eternity, death just means the end of existence on Earth.”

One would almost believe they are making this stuff up.

 

[Malintent]

Still no grass or trees in heaven, then I guess. Count me out then, thank you very much. A desolate wasteland is no heaven for me.
What torture it must be for all the herbivores that have just been allowed in to have nothing to eat.. forever.
Which pets, by the way, do the folk in heaven eat, since there wouldn't be a leafy vegetable anywhere around infinity.

Someone once told me that in heaven, people don't need to eat.
I asked them who said, "Man cannot live by bread alone"
They didn't know. I suggested that they look it up and try to learn something useful from its source.

 

[rousseau]

How the fuck are billions of people not able to see that if the *word of God* is actually the word of God, it doesn't and will never change, or is at least not changeable by a bunch of guys in hats in a board room in the Vatican.

 

[Bomb#20]

Still no grass or trees in heaven, then I guess. Count me out then, thank you very much. A desolate wasteland is no heaven for me.
What torture it must be for all the herbivores that have just been allowed in to have nothing to eat.. forever.
Which pets, by the way, do the folk in heaven eat, since there wouldn't be a leafy vegetable anywhere around infinity.

Now, now, just because plants aren't called to the eternal life doesn't mean there aren't any in heaven. After all, plants that can't be killed wouldn't be much use to your heavenly goat, would they? So evidently you can still die in heaven if you're a vegetable.

What worries me is my poor cats. They're obligate carnivores and I won't be allowed to kill any tuna for them. So they're doomed to an eternity of ill-health from enforced vegetarianism.

 

[Keith&Co.]

During his weekly audience at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis broke from Catholic teaching in order to declare that all animals do, in fact, go to heaven.

So...the love of God extends to dogs, cats, hamsters, sharks, toads, tarantulas and geckos, but not gays...

 

[rousseau]

During his weekly audience at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis broke from Catholic teaching in order to declare that all animals do, in fact, go to heaven.

So...the love of God extends to dogs, cats, hamsters, sharks, toads, tarantulas and geckos, but not gays...

And I would assume gay animals.

 

[Keith&Co.]

So...the love of God extends to dogs, cats, hamsters, sharks, toads, tarantulas and geckos, but not gays...

And I would assume gay animals.

I don't think there are any gay animals in their theology. It would be a step towards understanding it as a 'natural' occurrence, which would lead to questions about why we go to Hell fo rthings under God's control, not ours....

 

[Mageth]

How the fuck are billions of people not able to see that if the *word of God* is actually the word of God, it doesn't and will never change, or is at least not changeable by a bunch of guys in hats in a board room in the Vatican.

Because Roman Catholics are not Protestants. The Roman Catholic Church does not subscribe to Sola Scriptura (i.e., that scripture alone is authoritative for the faith and practice of the Christian). Catholics believe that authority lies within the hierarchy of the Church, that truth is found in the Bible as interpreted by the Church, and that truth is also found in Church tradition.

I'm not sure that all Catholics becoming Protestants would be a big improvement.

 

[funinspace]

How the fuck are billions of people not able to see that if the *word of God* is actually the word of God, it doesn't and will never change, or is at least not changeable by a bunch of guys in hats in a board room in the Vatican.

Because Roman Catholics are not Protestants. The Roman Catholic Church does not subscribe to Sola Scriptura (i.e., that scripture alone is authoritative for the faith and practice of the Christian). Catholics believe that authority lies within the hierarchy of the Church, that truth is found in the Bible as interpreted by the Church, and that truth is also found in Church tradition.

I'm not sure that all Catholics becoming Protestants would be a big improvement.

Additionally, a great many Protestants, though they operate within the vague confines of sola Scriptura, they don’t think their God barfed out the Bible in perfect form. They recognize the fallibility of the writers, and adjust as they feel led by the spirit. The RCC just does this “adjustment” in a more organized way. The slow changes within the Mainstream sects towards accepting homosexuality is a perfect example of a current trend of adjustment, to start matching societal changes.

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

During his weekly audience at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis broke from Catholic teaching in order to declare that all animals do, in fact, go to heaven.
During his address Francis quoted the apostle Paul as saying, “One day we will see our animals again in eternity of Christ.” Francis went on to add:
“Paradise is open to all God’s creatures.”


The Pope’s new position is markedly different from that of Pope Benedict XVI who said that non-human animals “are not called to the eternal life.”
In a 2008 sermon Benedict closed the doors of heaven firmly to pets and other animals by saying:
“For other creatures, who are not called to eternity, death just means the end of existence on Earth.”

One would almost believe they are making this stuff up.

Which one was speaking ex-cathedra? Does this include horrible parasites?

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

Still no grass or trees in heaven, then I guess. Count me out then, thank you very much. A desolate wasteland is no heaven for me.

What torture it must be for all the herbivores that have just been allowed in to have nothing to eat.. forever.
Which pets, by the way, do the folk in heaven eat, since there wouldn't be a leafy vegetable anywhere around infinity.

Now, now, just because plants aren't called to the eternal life doesn't mean there aren't any in heaven. After all, plants that can't be killed wouldn't be much use to your heavenly goat, would they? So evidently you can still die in heaven if you're a vegetable.

What worries me is my poor cats. They're obligate carnivores and I won't be allowed to kill any tuna for them. So they're doomed to an eternity of ill-health from enforced vegetarianism.

Well you see, in heaven there are Star Trek type replicator miracle machines. Like Jesus used to get all those fishes and loaves.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Fuck. I'm going to be meeting a lot of pissed off cows when I get to Heaven, I guess.

 

[Kharakov]

Fuck. I'm going to be meeting a lot of pissed off cows when I get to Heaven, I guess.

You're no true Scotsman.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

These people are fucking nuts.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Fuck. I'm going to be meeting a lot of pissed off cows when I get to Heaven, I guess.

You're no true Scotsman.

I beg your pardon. I've been drunk since noon, thank you very much.

 

[dx713]

During his weekly audience at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis broke from Catholic teaching in order to declare that all animals do, in fact, go to heaven.
During his address Francis quoted the apostle Paul as saying, “One day we will see our animals again in eternity of Christ.” Francis went on to add:
“Paradise is open to all God’s creatures.”

The Pope’s new position is markedly different from that of Pope Benedict XVI who said that non-human animals “are not called to the eternal life.”
In a 2008 sermon Benedict closed the doors of heaven firmly to pets and other animals by saying:
“For other creatures, who are not called to eternity, death just means the end of existence on Earth.”

One would almost believe they are making this stuff up.

So, all the animals go to heaven, but my atheist self goes to hell. And according to a previous pope, even my catholic wife goes to hell too, just for having dared marry an unbeliever.
It's like god wants all the pets to herself.

 

[Keith&Co.]

One would almost believe they are making this stuff up.

So, all the animals go to heaven, but my atheist self goes to hell. And according to a previous pope, even my catholic wife goes to hell too, just for having dared marry an unbeliever.
It's like god wants all the pets to herself.

The Crazy Cat Lady theory of God?

That would explain a lot...

 

[funinspace]

So, all the animals go to heaven, but my atheist self goes to hell. And according to a previous pope, even my catholic wife goes to hell too, just for having dared marry an unbeliever.
It's like god wants all the pets to herself.

The Crazy Cat Lady theory of God?

That would explain a lot...

Nah, you have it all wrong. It's actually a ménage le trois up there with Yahweh, Asherah, and Jesus (he has multi-personality issues, as he is also sometimes Satan and a talking snake). The message varies somewhat by which one has grabbed the megaphone....which ends up confusing the wee little humans.

 

[Thomas II]

During his weekly audience at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis broke from Catholic teaching in order to declare that all animals do, in fact, go to heaven.
During his address Francis quoted the apostle Paul as saying, “One day we will see our animals again in eternity of Christ.” Francis went on to add:
“Paradise is open to all God’s creatures.”

The Pope’s new position is markedly different from that of Pope Benedict XVI who said that non-human animals “are not called to the eternal life.”
In a 2008 sermon Benedict closed the doors of heaven firmly to pets and other animals by saying:
“For other creatures, who are not called to eternity, death just means the end of existence on Earth.”

One would almost believe they are making this stuff up.

Don't worry!...

 

[Kharakov]