Pope Francis says ‘All animals go to heaven’

[Clivedurdle]

Interesting. I assume St Bernard of Shaw is soon to be canonized.

SPINTHO. What's the good of praying? If we're martyred we shall
go to heaven, shan't we, whether we pray or not?

FERROVIUS. What's that? Not pray! (Seizing him again) Pray this
instant, you dog, you rotten hound, you slimy snake, you beastly
goat, or--

SPINTHO. Yes: beat me: kick me. I forgive you: mind that.

FERROVIUS (spurning him with loathing) Yah! (Spintho reels away
and falls in front of Ferrovius).

ANDROCLES (reaching out and catching the skirt of Ferrovius's
tunic) Dear brother: if you wouldn't mind--just for my sake--

FERROVIUS. Well?

ANDROCLES. Don't call him by the names of the animals. We've no
right to. I've had such friends in dogs. A pet snake is the best
of company. I was nursed on goat's milk. Is it fair to them to
call the like of him a dog or a snake or a goat?

FERROVIUS. I only meant that they have no souls.

ANDROCLES (anxiously protesting) Oh, believe me, they have. Just
the same as you and me. I really don't think I could consent to
go to heaven if I thought there were to be no animals there.
Think of what they suffer here.

FERROVIUS. That's true. Yes: that is just. They will have their
share in heaven.

http://www.fullbooks.com/Androcles-and-the-Lion.html

 

[Herrick]

I almost wish I could become a Christian again so I could see fucking dinosaurs in heaven. How cool would that be? Wait...didn't The Pope say atheists can go to heaven too?

 

[Kharakov]

I almost wish I could become a Christian again so I could see fucking dinosaurs in heaven. How cool would that be? Wait...didn't The Pope say atheists can go to heaven too?

That's implied by the whole animals thing.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

I almost wish I could become a Christian again so I could see fucking dinosaurs in heaven. How cool would that be? Wait...didn't The Pope say atheists can go to heaven too?

Frankie looks at the world to find proof that his stories must be true. It's all about the stories. So adding critters like dogs and cats to the story is hardly big news. If we live long enough maybe we'll see a Pope Judas and Satan in heaven too.

But Frankie just better watch he doesn't use up all his enemies. Bogeymen come in handy in all good stories.

 

[bleubird]

I helped regular costumer out to her car last night,because she has MS,or ALS,or something.She told me I was going to heaven."not likely I am an atheist".Oh,you are still going to heaven."how about my cat"?"Oh,she will go too"I don't think so, she is a real mean devil"

 

[Keith&Co.]

"I don't think so, she is a real mean devil"

Oh, that's it. If Mom's 'Jellybelly' is going to be in Heaven, i'm not going.

And that snake that burst open when it ate the gator? BOTH of those are going to be there....and probably surly. That's not going to be fun.