Respect

[Keith&Co.]

Just saw where a police union leader was demanding that we (the public) start treatingbcopsvwith respect. Near as i could tell, he's trying to justify any brutality by the fact that cops are hated, abused, lied to....just treated disrespectfully, past their limits.

All i can think of is boot camp. I was abused nearly daily, and expected to control any and all urges to fight, bite, or mock. Wasn't fun, but i managed to do it for 8 weeks. And again in sub school now and then. And FBM Program A school. FTB C school. Patrols on my first sub....pretty much my entire career, there was never a point where i was allowed free rein on my responses to all abuses. I just got rank to limit the number of people who could abuse me.


I have also worked retail. Most people are polite... or polite enough. But some entitled jackasses go into a store KNOWING that the wage slave will never tell them to fuck off, no matter how much they deserve it. They can get quite , um, diserespectful, but never get a baton to the throat.

I've never been a nurse, but on some hospital floors, i have been amazed at the abuse hurled upon nurses. I get that patients are scared, in pain, confused, but the nurse is not the person to lash out at.
Yet there they are, screaming about the needle, or the air, or the TV, or the airline-toothpste conspiracy, and the nurses never show up with rubber hoses. Ever.
i would almost expect the first lesson in nursing school to be "how not to leave bruises when gentling a patient."

My wife teaches English in High School. Respect is hardly ever part of her dealings with the students, the students' parents, or the administration. Still not allowed to drag the five-inch fire hose into the room to cool emotions....

And none of us carry guns.

Why is the ability to freak out granted to those with the ability to kill?

 

[Politesse]

And none of us carry guns.

Why is the ability to freak out granted to those with the ability to kill?

Because they do have guns.

Forget fatal shootings, I'm trying to imagine the shit show that would start if my defense to any infraction on campus began with "but the student wasn't being res-PECT-ful to me"

Maybe in Britain someone could get away with that shit?...

 

[Keith&Co.]

Because they do have guns.

Seems backwards.
The closer i got to touching a nuclear weapon, the more scrutiny i was under. My behavior, debts, religion, sexuality, drug use (even when prescribed), traffic citations... they even threatened to pull my clearance for my AD&D gaming.
The more damage i COULD do, the more i was disciplined.

Not that it all made sense... I asked Weps why they screened gays out of the program. "Because gays are subject to blackmail."
"But, sir, that's only because we DO screen gays out of the program when they're found out..."
"So, that's why we HAVE to."
"No, no, sir. Okay, what if being black was a disqualifying reason. Petty Officer Johnson is a good MT, except if he was hiding that secret, then he'd be a risk. But ONLY because black was disqualifying. Right now, it's not illegal, so no one can threaten to expose him. So he's not being blackmailed."

Weps stared at me, wheels turning in his head. "Is Johnson gay?"

 

[Politesse]

Because they do have guns.

Seems backwards.
The closer i got to touching a nuclear weapon, the more scrutiny i was under. My behavior, debts, religion, sexuality, drug use (even when prescribed), traffic citations... they even threatened to pull my clearance for my AD&D gaming.
The more damage i COULD do, the more i was disciplined.

Not that it all made sense... I asked Weps why they screened gays out of the program. "Because gays are subject to blackmail."
"But, sir, that's only because we DO screen gays out of the program when they're found out..."
"So, that's why we HAVE to."
"No, no, sir. Okay, what if being black was a disqualifying reason. Petty Officer Johnson is a good MT, except if he was hiding that secret, then he'd be a risk. But ONLY because black was disqualifying. Right now, it's not illegal, so no one can threaten to expose him. So he's not being blackmailed."

Weps stared at me, wheels turning in his head. "Is Johnson gay?"

Ah, but the country is effectively in charge of policing the rest of the world when it comes to possession of nuclear weapons. Because we have some and they don't. You just need more of a power disparity to make it work.

 

[bilby]

Mobsters and cops often find it difficult to tell the difference between fear and respect.

Respect is when people are nice to you, because you have behaved and comported yourself in an exemplary manner, and they admire and wish to emulate you.

Fear is when people are nice to you, because they know you will fuck them up if they aren't.

But some people - particularly those with an authoritarian bent - assume that the 'nice to you' part is the thing and the whole of the thing; And cannot grasp why some people refuse to respect them despite their increasingly dire threats, and even despite their acting on those threats.

Escalating threats (and escalating violence) are effective in generating fear. But are massively counterproductive when your goal is respect.

The problem isn't the lack of respect; It's the lack of understanding of how to engender it.

The police don't have a respect problem because the citizens refuse to give it; They have a problem with their own attitude, which corrodes any respect they might start to build.