Texas Solves Rape Crime Issue

[Jimmy Higgins]

Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.

link

This will prevent pregnancies occurring as a result of a criminal rape. Really, this idea is brilliant. If this works, then they can then end murder and jaywalking! Now... this is a great idea, but... and I don't want to be a Debbie Downer... isn't a rapist a citizen who hasn't committed rape until after they committed such a crime.... and you can't get a rapist off the street if they haven't committed the crime yet.

But I'm sure they'll figure how to get around that tiny issue.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.

OR-
They'll get all the women off the streets, so rapists can never reach them. That'll work, AND it will only inconvenience women and non-law-abiding menfolk.

 

[TomC]

Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.

OR-
They'll get all the women off the streets, so rapists can never reach them. That'll work, AND it will only inconvenience women and non-law-abiding menfolk.

Texiban?
Tom

 

[ZiprHead]

There are thousands of untested rape kits in Texas.

 

[untermensche]

There is only one way to get rid of rapists.

AFTER they rape somebody.

You are not a rapist until you rape somebody.

 

[Jarhyn]

Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.

link

This will prevent pregnancies occurring as a result of a criminal rape. Really, this idea is brilliant. If this works, then they can then end murder and jaywalking! Now... this is a great idea, but... and I don't want to be a Debbie Downer... isn't a rapist a citizen who hasn't committed rape until after they committed such a crime.... and you can't get a rapist off the street if they haven't committed the crime yet.

But I'm sure they'll figure how to get around that tiny issue.

Minority Report, anyone?

 

[Gospel]

Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.

Translation: We haven't been tirelessly arresting and prosecuting rapists as aggressively as we should. We will now do so.

 

[untermensche]

I suspect that US Taliban member doesn't want women to have drugs that can end a pregnancy.

 

[Shadowy Man]

How hard can it be? Texas got all the murderers off the streets, right?

 

[Shadowy Man]

Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.

Translation: We haven't been tirelessly arresting and prosecuting rapists as aggressively as we should. We will now do so.

No. “We will *say* that we will now do so but likely won’t do anything at all.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.

Translation: We haven't been tirelessly arresting and prosecuting rapists as aggressively as we should. We will now do so.

That wins best spin.

 

[Gun Nut]

Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.

OR-
They'll get all the women off the streets, so rapists can never reach them. That'll work, AND it will only inconvenience women and non-law-abiding menfolk.

Brilliant! And they'll enforce laws that prevent women from being out in public without a male escort... and impose a dress code so rapists are not tempted.. and keep women out of schools so they can;t get date raped.. and categorize women as property so that they can protected more effectively....

 

[thebeave]

I'm confused...I thought all we had to do to stop rape was to just "tell men not to rape".

 

[Trausti]

I'm confused...I thought all we had to do to stop rape was to just "tell men not to rape".

I’m also confused … aren’t we supposed to defund the police and abolish prisons?

 

[Shadowy Man]

I'm confused...I thought all we had to do to stop rape was to just "tell men not to rape".

I’m also confused … aren’t we supposed to defund the police and abolish prisons?

Texas won’t need prisons once they end all crime.

 

[Trausti]

I'm confused...I thought all we had to do to stop rape was to just "tell men not to rape".

I’m also confused … aren’t we supposed to defund the police and abolish prisons?

Texas won’t need prisons once they end all crime.

Ah, like in San Francisco where the DA simply stopped prosecuting crime. For equity, of course.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

I'm confused...I thought all we had to do to stop rape was to just "tell men not to rape".

I’m also confused … aren’t we supposed to defund the police and abolish prisons?

Texas won’t need prisons once they end all crime.

Police won't be needed as monetizing crime will make the community want to get involved and tattle on every crime that occurs. Including women going to Planned Parenthood for a mammogram.

 

[Shadowy Man]

Texas won’t need prisons once they end all crime.

Ah, like in San Francisco where the DA simply stopped prosecuting crime. For equity, of course.

No. Not at all. Didn’t you hear what Abbott said? He said that they will simply get criminals off the street. Because before now they seemed to be not bothered by rapists roaming the streets. It all makes such obvious sense!!!

 

[funinspace]

Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.

link

This will prevent pregnancies occurring as a result of a criminal rape. Really, this idea is brilliant. If this works, then they can then end murder and jaywalking! Now... this is a great idea, but... and I don't want to be a Debbie Downer... isn't a rapist a citizen who hasn't committed rape until after they committed such a crime.... and you can't get a rapist off the street if they haven't committed the crime yet.

But I'm sure they'll figure how to get around that tiny issue.

Minority Report, anyone?

But it will star Chuck Norris instead...

 

[Elixir]

I'm not confident that any of these measures will work, though having an esteemed voice like Abbot's (even without Costello) telling rapists to knock it off might do the trick.
But Texas is so resourceful, they have already hit on a measure to reduce the need for abortion of pregnancies due to rape.
IVERMECTIN!