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The book of Mormon - part 3 of the Bible?

excreationist

Married mouth-breather
Joined
Aug 28, 2000
Messages
3,299
Location
Australia
Basic Beliefs
Probably in a simulation
When I was in the hospital I was showing my wife a Mormon cartoon on youtube.... then I found this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEj8LqTMIhY
In the animation it shows Trey Parker as a Mormon missionary singing the song. This strongly implies Trey is a Mormon though the video says it was created by a "fan".
It is interesting that Mormonism is always made fun of in South Park and the musical makes fun of it too. I told a patient that I'm going to investigate Mormonism. She said I'd have to have 10 children. I noticed an upside-down cross on her clothes. She says she would do hand-stands at some type of church/temple. She also said something earlier about doing black magic.
Now I'm looking into Mormonism again....
http://www1.cbn.com/churchandministry/mormons-are-fastest-growing-religion
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/...ns-are-beating-evangelicals-in-church-growth/
The thing is, when people now do a search for "book of Mormon" they keep on seeing the musical... anyway, I found this interesting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ATGGwbll3c
 
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The book of Mormon is part 4 of the Bible. Part 3 is the Quran which predates the book of Mormon by over a thousand years.

Actually, the Koran is just fan fiction and isn’t considered to be part of the main canon.
 
I was wondering, how does the book of Mormon cause it all to make sense?
 
A comment from that youtube video:
2 Corinthians 11 - 3 >>>>But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.<<<<
4 >>>>>For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the Spirit you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough.<<<<
13 >>>For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ.<<<<
14 >>>>And no wonder, for SATAN HIMSELF MASQUERADES AS AN ANGEL OF LIGHT<<<<<
15 >>>It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.<<<<
And a literal angel of light was involved in the Mormonism story....
 
I was wondering, how does the book of Mormon cause it all to make sense?

It was written by a guy who stuck his head into a bag in order to read magic rocks.

That causes it to make sense by shining a bright light on the fact that this shit is just straight up crazy.
 
This strongly implies Trey is a Mormon
I believe he was raised Mormon.
So was I.

Neither of us can be described as 'Mormon,' though. Except by the LDS church. They still list me as an Elder.

I made the mistake of calling the Excommunication hotline when I was a young sailor. Just wanted to make it clear that I was not associated with the church any longer. But that was a mistake. The hotline is to keep you FROM leaving the church. If I'd given a real address I'd probably still have missionaries on my doorstep....
 
I was wondering, how does the book of Mormon cause it all to make sense?

Ah, like Snoopy? "In Chapter 2 I tie all of this together."

Nope. It doesn't. It's more of a reset. The central selling point of Mormonism is the promise that you'll become a god. You get to make your own world and set up your own people and establish your own religion... Once you have enough power.
And you get that power by having your descendants pray through you.
So the more descendants, the faster you gain power. Thus, extra wives, extra kids, and so on.

Brigham Young had so many wives (all of them kept secret from his jealous sife #1, who did not buy into this polygamy bullshit) that a few times he met women on the street, introduced himself, and was told he'd married them 2, 4, 8 years previous.
 
The entire Bible is an anthology, it has a lot of parts added bit by bit over several thousand years, and people come to their own minds about their favorite editions. It doesn't usually come to blows, but sometimes... well, you know book lovers.


3vision2.jpg
 
The fun things about Mormonism as a religion (a selective list):
1- It is ground zero for those of us who like to be amazed at how people will believe literally anything.
2- It is one faith that can be disproved unequivocally by the historical record of Mesoamerica, which Joe Smith unfortunately populated with a thriving Jewish civilization. Yes, folks, he has walled cities and temples and iron works of a Jewish diaspora living in the Americas, something like 2000 years before Columbus. (Somehow, their descendants became Native Americans. I just want to know how the tomahawk circumcisions went.)
3) As stated in a previous post, Smith put his head in a hat to "receive" the BOM from a magic stone. When his benefactor, one Martin Harris, I believe, who was transcribing for him and was about to mortgage his farm to get the magic book published, showed the first bunch of pages to his wife, she destroyed them, forcing Smith to rewrite the first 80+ pages. Because he didn't know if the wife was holding on to the lost pages and could use them to point out discrepancies with a new draft, he had to tell a contorted story about the angel giving him a different set of golden plates to work from.
4) Smith uses outlandishness throughout the book to dazzle his readers. One example -- he claims the Jews used "reformed Egyptian" to set down their history in the New World. Just think about that for two minutes.
5) Smith composed the Book of Abraham, another Mormon scripture, by pretending to translate an Egyptian papyrus. That papyrus was located in the 1960s and turned out to be a funerary text with absolutely nothing to do with Smith's words. In other words, it's simply, purely a hoax.
5- Glenn Beck converted to this faith as an adult.
 
Oops! -- I kept adding LDS pleasures as I went. Fun fact: I once taught math.
Twain also coined the best condensed description of the BOM: 'chloroform in print'. His musings on Mormonism form a wonderful chapter in Roughing It.
 
The book of Mormon is part 4 of the Bible. Part 3 is the Quran which predates the book of Mormon by over a thousand years.

It is like a series of movies. First came the Old Testament. Then came the New Testament which is supposedly a sequel. The Jews say the original movie is the only valid one, but the Christians say that while the first movie is good the second movie is better. Then along came the Muslims who had a third movie which told basically the same story but retconned everything changing the importance of various characters. Then along came the Mormons who were so thrilled with the second movie they wrote a whole bunch of fan fiction which doesn't fit in with anything.
 
Is the Garden really somewhere in Missouri?
 
What, are you doubting? You can be disfellowshipped. Then, there go your wives.

What happens to the wives? Do they get assigned to new husbands? As I understand Moronism, women are taken into their husband's Heaven. If their husband doesn't get into Heaven, where do they go? Do they get sent to Hell as well, or are they transferred to their dad's Heaven or something?
 
Lots of Mormon stereotypes here. I've spent a lot of time around Deseret, and while the LDS church itself has all the problems of a conservative, calcinated religious hierarchy, I have generally found Mormons to be decent folks, or at least no less decent than the general population. There's something Taoist about their reverence for the starstuff we're made from. All Christians say that the body is a temple of God, but they often don't show it really.
 
I may be obtuse, but I think the objections raised to the LDS church above are about the utter inanity of their theology, scriptures, claims to prophetical powers. If you wish to exclude those considerations from discussion, look at the name of this website.
 
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