Tips for men from Blaire Ostler about how not to be falsely accused

[Don2 (Don1 Revised)]

Saw this on facebook...

Tips for men from Blaire Ostler about how not to be falsely accused:
Several people have expressed concern that men might be falsely accused of rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment or sexual misconduct going forward. Sharing these tips to keep yourself safe:
1. Don’t put yourself in compromising situations.
2. Stay alert and aware at all times. If you are at a party with a woman who you think will falsely accuse you of sexual assault, limit your alcohol consumption. She is free to drink, but your impaired judgment is not an excuse for her false accusations.
3. If you walk or jog for exercise, try to vary your route and time on the street. To be predictable is risky. Don’t give women the opportunity to falsely accuse you by having an exercise routine.
4. Keep your body covered. If you expose certain areas of your body she may get the impression you are interested in sex with her. Don’t give her that impression by revealing more of your skin than necessary. Modesty is the best policy.
5. Think before you talk. Flirting with a woman is fine but be careful not to give her the impression you’re interested in sex. Chaste words will help you maintain your virtue and good name.
6. Don’t make yourself an easy target. Hold your head up, walk confidently, directly and at a steady pace away from the woman you think may falsely accuse you of sexual misconduct. Don’t forget, you’re a strong capable man too.
7. Attract attention to yourself if you feel like you might be falsely accused of sexual misconduct. Make noise, call 911, use a whistle in hopes that some one will come to your aid as a witness. You can get “Falsely Accused of Rape” whistles at your local shelter.
8. If you are being followed, head for a well-lit area where you think there will be other people who may be able to help you. Well-lit areas could be the difference between a pleasing evening stroll or a night that will forever change your life.
9. It’s probably best to stay home after dark. If you’re worried that while you’re walking home at night you might encounter a woman who may falsely accuse you of sexual assault, it’s best to avoid that situation completely. Consider a self-imposed curfew.
10. If you do have to be out after dark. Stay away from suspect women. Keep your guard up and keep your distance. Remember to bring your “Falsely Accused of Rape” whistle at all times.
11. Trust your “gut instincts.” Even if you get the feeling a woman is about to falsely accuse you of rape leave her alone immediately.
12. Always make sure you lock your car doors, whether or not you are in the car. Always check the floor and rear seat for suspect women before getting into your car.
13. If you suspect that you are being followed by a woman while diving, keep on going—do not stop and pullover until you get to some place that is well-lit and where there are other people to assist you and attest to your innocence.
14. If your car should break down, raise the hood and remain in the car with the doors locked until the police arrive. Don't stand outside your car. This may give women the impression your helpless circumstance means you want to have sex with them. If a woman should stop and offer to assist you, roll down the window just enough to tell them you called the police.
15. Stay safe at home. Be sure you know whom you are opening your door to. If a sales or repair woman is legitimate, they will not mind your asking to see her identification and confirming their identity with the company they represent. If you still feel uncomfortable, schedule all appointments at a time when your wife can be home to help you.
16. For men who live by themselves in a house or apartment, never advertise the fact by listing your full name in the phone book or on a mailbox. This makes you an easy target for false accusations because you have no alibi.
17. Attend large parties with friends you can trust. Agree to “look out” for one another. Try to leave with your group, rather than alone or with a suspect woman.
18. Be cautious about revealing any personal information over the telephone and/or Internet. Don’t make yourself a vulnerable target.
19. If you have roommates, talk to them about the importance of everyone following the safety strategies at all times.
20. Lastly, stay safe out there. There are plenty of good women ready to help you if you need it. Don’t let a few bad apples change the way you feel about all women. Most of us are good and trying to help you do the right thing. #NotAllWomen
Disclaimer: Following these tips and strategies does not guarantee that a false accusation will not occur. They are offered as strategies to reduce the likelihood of you becoming a victim of false rape accusations. -Blaire Ostler

 

[ZiprHead]

[YOUTUBE]https://youtu.be/Q7Bkg102Ij0[/YOUTUBE]

 

[phands]

How aboiut just one?

1. Don't assault women....or anyone.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

How aboiut just one?

1. Don't assault women....or anyone.

How about:

1) Read the title.

This is about false accusations. Not assaulting women does nothing to prevent false accusations.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

How aboiut just one?

1. Don't assault women....or anyone.

How about:

1) Read the title.

This is about false accusations. Not assaulting women does nothing to prevent false accusations.

I don't know about that.

If a group of women suspects that a certain man raped one of their friends and got away with it, they may make false accusations against him in order to get him arrested as a rapist, even if it's not for the actual rape that he committed. Therefore not raping people in the first place is a key strategy to helping men not become a target of false accusations of rape ... or only raping people who don't have friends - that would work here too.

 

[Bronzeage]

How aboiut just one?

1. Don't assault women....or anyone.

How about:

1) Read the title.

This is about false accusations. Not assaulting women does nothing to prevent false accusations.

Let's consider this for a moment. Are we talking about a false accusation, where a man is mistaken for the person who actually assaulted a woman, or we talking about a woman who is blatantly lying and claiming an innocent man assaulted her?

These would seem to be two very different situations, and one solution could not cover both.

 

[Angry Floof]

It's a list that was aimed at women and assault, and then turned around to aim at men and fears of accusations, so there's bound to be some points that didn't translate well. In general, it's a great list.

 

[Don2 (Don1 Revised)]

How aboiut just one?

1. Don't assault women....or anyone.

How about:

1) Read the title.

This is about false accusations. Not assaulting women does nothing to prevent false accusations.

Let's consider this for a moment. Are we talking about a false accusation, where a man is mistaken for the person who actually assaulted a woman, or we talking about a woman who is blatantly lying and claiming an innocent man assaulted her?

These would seem to be two very different situations, and one solution could not cover both.

Some suggestions mitigate risk of either situation and some do not. Taken as a whole, it makes sense for men to be chaste and dress appropriately. You don't want people to perceive you as a rapist!

 

[ruby sparks]

[YOUTUBE]https://youtu.be/Q7Bkg102Ij0[/YOUTUBE]

Eek. That's awful, and scary.

I wonder how it turned out, him being so clever, not doing it while being filmed and all.

 

[ruby sparks]

It's a list that was aimed at women and assault, and then turned around to aim at men and fears of accusations, so there's bound to be some points that didn't translate well. In general, it's a great list.

So...this is a version of a list originally aimed at women wanting to avoid assault, but turned around? In other words, it's not entirely serious?

It didn't seem entirely unironic, as a list for men to avoid false accusations. I'm guessing it's not meant to be.

 

[Angry Floof]

It's a list that was aimed at women and assault, and then turned around to aim at men and fears of accusations, so there's bound to be some points that didn't translate well. In general, it's a great list.

So...this is a version of a list originally aimed at women wanting to avoid assault, but turned around? In other words, it's not entirely serious?

It didn't seem entirely unironic, as a list for men to avoid false accusations. I'm guessing it's not meant to be.

It's serious rhetoric, but no, no one actually made this list from the ground up with protecting men from accusations in mind as the goal.

One of the points is that men don't actually have to worry too much about false accusations. False accusations make up a fraction of the number of sexual assaults, and only a fraction of that fraction of false accusations are successful.

Yet we put it on women to protect themselves from rape while rapists and their support teams are free of such burdensome lifestyle changes in response to learning that 1 in 3 women are assaulted.

Then, just to make sure every inch of privilege is milked to its maximum potential, they go on to actually pretend women are to be feared, citing a made-up threat.

 

[Don2 (Don1 Revised)]

It's a list that was aimed at women and assault, and then turned around to aim at men and fears of accusations, so there's bound to be some points that didn't translate well. In general, it's a great list.

So...this is a version of a list originally aimed at women wanting to avoid assault, but turned around? In other words, it's not entirely serious?

It didn't seem entirely unironic, as a list for men to avoid false accusations. I'm guessing it's not meant to be.

It's serious rhetoric, but no, no one actually made this list from the ground up with protecting men from accusations in mind as the goal.

One of the points is that men don't actually have to worry too much about false accusations. False accusations make up a fraction of the number of sexual assaults, and only a fraction of that fraction of false accusations are successful.

Yet we put it on women to protect themselves from rape while rapists and their support teams are free of such burdensome lifestyle changes in response to learning that 1 in 3 women are assaulted.

Then, just to make sure every inch of privilege is milked to its maximum potential, they go on to actually pretend women are to be feared, citing a made-up threat.

This is all true, of course...

However, suppose hypothetically that false accusations were really as prevalent as the usual suspects say. Then, they'd be just as prevalent as assault and other things involved in the accusations. So then the same advice ought to apply. And the op would be serious. Allegedly. Also assuming that we could put it on men as some do on women that mitigating risk is a thing they ought to be involved in.

 

[ronburgundy]

However, suppose hypothetically that false accusations were really as prevalent as the usual suspects say. Then, they'd be just as prevalent as assault and other things involved in the accusations.

Really? Can you cite anyone on this board who has said that there are just as many false rape accusations as their are actual rapes? I have only seen people arguing that the number is not zero or so close to zero that it should be treated as essentially non-existent. The highest estimates I have seen are under 5%-10% of accusations made to the police, and I have seen no one deny that many rapes are not reported to the police, despite discussion of whether the oft cited 70% figure is valid. So, that would mean that even the "usual suspects" who argue for false accusations being a real thing that shouldn't be ignored are still assuming that actual rape or sexual assaults occur about 10-20 times more often than false accusations. It is just that would still mean over 10,000 false accusations per year in the US.

So then the same advice ought to apply

Really? For the sake of argument, let's accept your false premise that anyone has claimed equal frequency of rape and false accusations.
Your argument presumes that two different type of events that occur with similar frequency have the same causes, and thus the same actions needed to prevent those events. You should publish a paper in the top science journal right away and tell all scientist to stop their research, because according to you all they have to do is to find a different event that occurs with similar frequency and they can conclude it has the same causes.

Making a false accusation has almost no psychological similarity to rape. Research shows that the main factors that lead to false accusations are :
Attention/sympathy seeking by the accuser
Attempts to cover up some other misdeed by the accuser (e.g., having an extra-marital affair, missing school or work)
Revenge to punish someone (e.g., someone that rejected them, a hated ex of a friend or family member)
A way to cope with shame about now-regretted consensual sex.

In many of these situations the falsely accused never had sex with accuser, and even when they have the false accusation itself does not entail physical contact, so physical proximity to and direct interaction with the accuser is largely irrelevant. Thus, very little on that or any list of ways to reduce the probability of rape victimization would apply to ways to reduce false accusation victimization. It might as well be a list of ways to reduce heart disease.

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

An actual effective list of how to avoid false claims of rape wouldn't go over so well with the feminists:

1. Only travel the streets in groups of men, especially if you go into dark areas with few other witnesses.
2. MGTOW. Don't date women. Instead use prostitutes. Far less likely to allege rape.
3. Don't joke with women. Be always serious. Save your jovial side for men.
4. Don't work with women. Hire only men.
5. If you must work with women, don't be alone with one at any time.
6. Don't close your office door if a woman is alone with you in your office, as you would with a man.
7. Don't mentor a woman or have working diners with a woman.
8. Dress as a woman.
9. Etc...

Some of these are outright oppressive towards women. All of them are bad news for both men and women. But these are actual things men could do to lower the chance of sexual misconduct accusations against them.

 

[Angry Floof]

An actual effective list of how to avoid false claims of rape wouldn't go over so well with the feminists:

1. Only travel the streets in groups of men, especially if you go into dark areas with few other witnesses.
2. MGTOW. Don't date women. Instead use prostitutes. Far less likely to allege rape.
3. Don't joke with women. Be always serious. Save your jovial side for men.
4. Don't work with women. Hire only men.
5. If you must work with women, don't be alone with one at any time.
6. Don't close your office door if a woman is alone with you in your office, as you would with a man.
7. Don't mentor a woman or have working diners with a woman.
8. Dress as a woman.
9. Etc...

Some of these are outright oppressive towards women. All of them are bad news for both men and women. But these are actual things men could do to lower the chance of sexual misconduct accusations against them.

Statistically speaking, he'd be wasting his time. Also, statistically speaking, he does face a real threat of sexual assault. It's 1 in 6 boys, 1 in 3 girls. He would better spend his time being wary of his male friends. Of course, for adult males, that number is much lower, but it's still a bigger threat than being falsely accused.

However, it's not women you'd have to avoid or maneuver around to protect yourself from being sexually assaulted, though, is it?

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

Statistically speaking, he'd be wasting his time.

If he did all that, yes he would be. But it does make sense not to ever be alone at work with a woman, and to never close your office door if with a woman, especially a young one. Lots of office workers and university professors are careful about that.

However, it's not women you'd have to avoid or maneuver around to protect yourself from being sexually assaulted, though, is it?

Men don't typically have to worry about sexual assault against them by anyone, men or women.

 

[RVonse]

An actual effective list of how to avoid false claims of rape wouldn't go over so well with the feminists:

1. Only travel the streets in groups of men, especially if you go into dark areas with few other witnesses.
2. MGTOW. Don't date women. Instead use prostitutes. Far less likely to allege rape.
3. Don't joke with women. Be always serious. Save your jovial side for men.
4. Don't work with women. Hire only men.
5. If you must work with women, don't be alone with one at any time.
6. Don't close your office door if a woman is alone with you in your office, as you would with a man.
7. Don't mentor a woman or have working diners with a woman.
8. Dress as a woman.
9. Etc...

Some of these are outright oppressive towards women. All of them are bad news for both men and women. But these are actual things men could do to lower the chance of sexual misconduct accusations against them.

All of them make sense to me except 8) Dress as a women. Why would a guy do that and what good would it do to prevent a false claim?

 

[Angry Floof]

Statistically speaking, he'd be wasting his time.

If he did all that, yes he would be. But it does make sense not to ever be alone at work with a woman, and to never close your office door if with a woman, especially a young one. Lots of office workers and university professors are careful about that.

Except no, you don't. Those doors/offices policies you claim are the thoughts of individual men are in fact, the results of largely WOMEN suffering and fighting and being raped, abused, and killed by men at work and in offices and in society at large for thousands of years, and fighting to change society to make it safer for women to exist, that such policies should be a thing.

It's not because sooo many men are being ruined by false accusations. It isn't, and you know it isn't, and it's spectacularly disingenuous of you to pretend otherwise. Policies like those come from women suffering and women changing the rules.

I think I have an idea of what might be happening here. In spite of all (actual) evidence to the contrary, just repeating the memes and the reactions to fear and hate mongering all over media is making your animal brain think that all of that IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW TO YOU IN REAL LIFE OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

All while you'd be hard put to find enough stories about false accusation to equal a tiny fraction of ACTUAL rape, assault, murder, abuse, torture, etc., cases of women you know by the men around them.

However, it's not women you'd have to avoid or maneuver around to protect yourself from being sexually assaulted, though, is it?

Men don't typically have to worry about sexual assault against them by anyone, men or women.

Men not so much, but boys? One in six is an epidemic, all because there's just enough grown men who don't know how to hold each other accountable for how they treat women. OR kids, for that matter.

Also, you agree that it's not women you have to fear either way? You don't have to fear us for false accusations because you know that number is negligible. You don't have to fear us physically, either.

On top of our personal experiences giving us evidence of what to reasonably fear physically from men, it's easy, almost reflexive, for some men to shame women, ostracize them, bully, taunt, fire them, whatever, on top of that very real physical threat.

So, again, you agree women are not actually any kind of threat to men, right? Are you willing to correct your friends and neighbors when they get this wrong and explain to them it's just fear mongering? Do you ask them why they focus on attacking women instead of rapists?

 

[Alcoholic Actuary]

Saw this on facebook...

Tips for men from Blaire Ostler about how not to be falsely accused:
Several people have expressed concern that men might be falsely accused of rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment or sexual misconduct going forward. Sharing these tips to keep yourself safe:
1. Don’t put yourself in compromising situations.
2. Stay alert and aware at all times. If you are at a party with a woman who you think will falsely accuse you of sexual assault, limit your alcohol consumption. She is free to drink, but your impaired judgment is not an excuse for her false accusations.
3. If you walk or jog for exercise, try to vary your route and time on the street. To be predictable is risky. Don’t give women the opportunity to falsely accuse you by having an exercise routine.
4. Keep your body covered. If you expose certain areas of your body she may get the impression you are interested in sex with her. Don’t give her that impression by revealing more of your skin than necessary. Modesty is the best policy.
5. Think before you talk. Flirting with a woman is fine but be careful not to give her the impression you’re interested in sex. Chaste words will help you maintain your virtue and good name.
6. Don’t make yourself an easy target. Hold your head up, walk confidently, directly and at a steady pace away from the woman you think may falsely accuse you of sexual misconduct. Don’t forget, you’re a strong capable man too.
7. Attract attention to yourself if you feel like you might be falsely accused of sexual misconduct. Make noise, call 911, use a whistle in hopes that some one will come to your aid as a witness. You can get “Falsely Accused of Rape” whistles at your local shelter.
8. If you are being followed, head for a well-lit area where you think there will be other people who may be able to help you. Well-lit areas could be the difference between a pleasing evening stroll or a night that will forever change your life.
9. It’s probably best to stay home after dark. If you’re worried that while you’re walking home at night you might encounter a woman who may falsely accuse you of sexual assault, it’s best to avoid that situation completely. Consider a self-imposed curfew.
10. If you do have to be out after dark. Stay away from suspect women. Keep your guard up and keep your distance. Remember to bring your “Falsely Accused of Rape” whistle at all times.
11. Trust your “gut instincts.” Even if you get the feeling a woman is about to falsely accuse you of rape leave her alone immediately.
12. Always make sure you lock your car doors, whether or not you are in the car. Always check the floor and rear seat for suspect women before getting into your car.
13. If you suspect that you are being followed by a woman while diving, keep on going—do not stop and pullover until you get to some place that is well-lit and where there are other people to assist you and attest to your innocence.
14. If your car should break down, raise the hood and remain in the car with the doors locked until the police arrive. Don't stand outside your car. This may give women the impression your helpless circumstance means you want to have sex with them. If a woman should stop and offer to assist you, roll down the window just enough to tell them you called the police.
15. Stay safe at home. Be sure you know whom you are opening your door to. If a sales or repair woman is legitimate, they will not mind your asking to see her identification and confirming their identity with the company they represent. If you still feel uncomfortable, schedule all appointments at a time when your wife can be home to help you.
16. For men who live by themselves in a house or apartment, never advertise the fact by listing your full name in the phone book or on a mailbox. This makes you an easy target for false accusations because you have no alibi.
17. Attend large parties with friends you can trust. Agree to “look out” for one another. Try to leave with your group, rather than alone or with a suspect woman.
18. Be cautious about revealing any personal information over the telephone and/or Internet. Don’t make yourself a vulnerable target.
19. If you have roommates, talk to them about the importance of everyone following the safety strategies at all times.
20. Lastly, stay safe out there. There are plenty of good women ready to help you if you need it. Don’t let a few bad apples change the way you feel about all women. Most of us are good and trying to help you do the right thing. #NotAllWomen
Disclaimer: Following these tips and strategies does not guarantee that a false accusation will not occur. They are offered as strategies to reduce the likelihood of you becoming a victim of false rape accusations. -Blaire Ostler

Satire. It's not just a river in Egypt.

aa

 

[Rhea]

I’m curious. For all you men who are crushingly terrified of women falsely accusing you, what do you do, on a daily basis, to protect yourself from it?

Because, if it’s such a huge threat, then surely you think about it every day, and change your life to use tactics to mitigate the significant risk, right?

So what is it. What do you do every day to mitigate the very real risk of false accusation?
Surely it’s a long list, yes?

Or - do you blithely live a life free of actual worry about this except when the shark-attack stories and Derec’s 12 and 20 year-old stories activate your lizard brain?