Elixir
Made in America
WASHINGTON DC_April 9 2020 : Citing National Security concerns, newly appointed Whitehouse Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany (aka the RNC's blonde bimbo) announced a plan by the Trump administration to implement a ban on face masks in public, using powers allegedly conferred upon The President by the Emergency Authorizations Act.
"This is a common-sense National Security Measure, as well as a goodwill gesture to the Muslim community" she said in a barely attended Thursday press briefing. "We have been after them for years for covering their faces, and this proves that we're not discriminating. This applies to everyone."
One reporter tried to ask what the "Emergency Authorizations Act" was, but the Press Secretary cut him off, saying "Go look it up!"
Asked whether the ban will apply to so-called "front line" workers who are necessarily in contact with a lot of people, McEnany explained:
"Anyone who really needs a mask will be given a small red forehead tattoo that reads "TRUMP 2020" in a copyrighted font that may not be duplicated by unauthorized personnel under penalty of death."
Asked about non- front-line workers she went on:
"Regular citizens who are not "front line" workers but nevertheless want to wear a mask in public to protect themselves from threats like say a virus, may do so if they apply for and receive the required tattoo. This is a very forward-looking effort that will protect the national interest for years to come."
Penalties for wearing an unauthorized mask in public will vary, but will mostly range around 30 days of close-quarters confinement with other violators of the Ban.
"This is a common-sense National Security Measure, as well as a goodwill gesture to the Muslim community" she said in a barely attended Thursday press briefing. "We have been after them for years for covering their faces, and this proves that we're not discriminating. This applies to everyone."
One reporter tried to ask what the "Emergency Authorizations Act" was, but the Press Secretary cut him off, saying "Go look it up!"
Asked whether the ban will apply to so-called "front line" workers who are necessarily in contact with a lot of people, McEnany explained:
"Anyone who really needs a mask will be given a small red forehead tattoo that reads "TRUMP 2020" in a copyrighted font that may not be duplicated by unauthorized personnel under penalty of death."
Asked about non- front-line workers she went on:
"Regular citizens who are not "front line" workers but nevertheless want to wear a mask in public to protect themselves from threats like say a virus, may do so if they apply for and receive the required tattoo. This is a very forward-looking effort that will protect the national interest for years to come."
Penalties for wearing an unauthorized mask in public will vary, but will mostly range around 30 days of close-quarters confinement with other violators of the Ban.
Last edited:
