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Was God Naked?

 
 
 
Rhea

Rhea

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Wait. Before the fall, Garden of Eden. Was God Naked?
 
Rhea said:
Wait. Before the fall, Garden of Eden. Was God Naked?
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Hard to say. The Gods are usually portrayed as wearing clothes in ancient Near Eastern art, despite society generally being rather a lot less prudish in those days than now. But the ancient Judeans seldom portrayed their God in art due to a cultural prohibition against idolatry.

It being a story, it comes down to what clothing symbolizes I suppose. Did we don clothes because we became "like God" through seeking wisdom and thus no longer went naked "like animals"? In that case, we should think of God as being enrobed, and reluctantly allowing us to wear them at the end of the story as a sort of graduation to a new kind of being. Or does clothing symbolize shame, caused by sin, which never tainted God? In which case, we should imagine him nude.

I am inclined to think that the original authors imagined the council of the Gods to be an enrobed group, but stories do not have to follow authorial intent. If you find more meaning in God being nude, that seems like a valid reading also.
 
Wasn't there a part of the bible where God allowed Moses to see his 'back parts?'
 
Maybe that's how the whole burning bush thing came about. God showed up with his junk hanging out and Moses had to look away but was too embarrassed to tell everyone why, so he was like "Umm, ya ... he appeared as fire ... it was really bright ... that's what happened".
 
Can I ask the larger question, "Is god naked right now, as I speak?"

Is god listening to my prayers in the nude? Is god intervening in our lives in the buff? When god was around before the now, was he just hanging out hanging out? When god reveals himself to me is he nude? When I'm in church singing to him is he listening and enjoying my adoration totally in the buff?

Inquiring minds want to know.
 
T.G.G. Moogly said:
Can I ask the larger question, "Is god naked right now, as I speak?"

Is god listening to my prayers in the nude? Is god intervening in our lives in the buff? When god was around before the now, was he just hanging out hanging out? When god reveals himself to me is he nude? When I'm in church singing to him is he listening and enjoying my adoration totally in the buff?

Inquiring minds want to know.
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Isn't that what "god revealing himself to you" means?
 
skepticalbip said:
T.G.G. Moogly said:
Can I ask the larger question, "Is god naked right now, as I speak?"

Is god listening to my prayers in the nude? Is god intervening in our lives in the buff? When god was around before the now, was he just hanging out hanging out? When god reveals himself to me is he nude? When I'm in church singing to him is he listening and enjoying my adoration totally in the buff?

Inquiring minds want to know.
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Isn't that what "god revealing himself to you" means?
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No wonder he's no longer allowed in schools.

Apparently he also has to stay at least five hundred feet from parks and playgrounds.
 
Won't all the Cristians be shocked when they get to heaven and find out it's just a big nudist colony filled with naked liberal hippies?
 
Does god have a dick?

After all, we were made in his image.

And if he does have a holy johnson, what does he do with it? What's it used for?

If he doesn't have a dick, then is he a she with a divine vagina?

If god has neither, then how do we classify his/her gender?

For some reason, I don't recall these issues ever being tackled in Sunday school.
 
Opoponax said:
Does god have a dick?

After all, we were made in his image.

And if he does have a holy johnson, what does he do with it? What's it used for?

If he doesn't have a dick, then is he a she with a divine vagina?

If god has neither, then how do we classify his/her gender?

For some reason, I don't recall these issues ever being tackled in Sunday school.
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Aha....gawd is a hermaphrodite! Now, when I tell him it to go fuck itself, that's actually realistic, even if it's existence isn't.
 
Exodus 33: God to Moses: 'My face you cannot see, for no man can see me and live.' (verse 20)...He has Moses stand on a rock, and covers Moses with his hand (so he has hands -- probably two) -- 'I will cover you with my hand until I am past you. Then I will remove my hand , and you will see me from behind.' (verses 22-3) The Bible stops short of saying Moses checked out his magnificent buns, but I mean, wouldn't they have to be Buns o' Steel? Better than what you can get off Suzanne Somers' Buttmaster. THIS is what they should be discussing in Sunday school. Don't get me started.
 
Opoponax said:
Does god have a dick?

After all, we were made in his image.

And if he does have a holy johnson, what does he do with it? What's it used for?

If he doesn't have a dick, then is he a she with a divine vagina?

If god has neither, then how do we classify his/her gender?

For some reason, I don't recall these issues ever being tackled in Sunday school.
Click to expand...
There's a Gnostic church I visit on the other side of the bay occasionally with a painting of a nude, openly hermaphroditic Christ in the entry-way. Not everyone is so squeamish! But I think the intent of that artwork is more symbolic than directly representative.
 
Politesse said:
Opoponax said:
Does god have a dick?

After all, we were made in his image.

And if he does have a holy johnson, what does he do with it? What's it used for?

If he doesn't have a dick, then is he a she with a divine vagina?

If god has neither, then how do we classify his/her gender?

For some reason, I don't recall these issues ever being tackled in Sunday school.
Click to expand...
There's a Gnostic church I visit on the other side of the bay occasionally with a painting of a nude, openly hermaphroditic Christ in the entry-way. Not everyone is so squeamish! But I think the intent of that artwork is more symbolic than directly representative.
Click to expand...

I would like to see a picture of that.
 
Didn't snap a picture, sorry! But you can find a lot of images along those lines if you start digging into the work of the medieval alchemists.
 
T.G.G. Moogly said:
Politesse said:
Opoponax said:
Does god have a dick?

After all, we were made in his image.

And if he does have a holy johnson, what does he do with it? What's it used for?

If he doesn't have a dick, then is he a she with a divine vagina?

If god has neither, then how do we classify his/her gender?

For some reason, I don't recall these issues ever being tackled in Sunday school.
Click to expand...
There's a Gnostic church I visit on the other side of the bay occasionally with a painting of a nude, openly hermaphroditic Christ in the entry-way. Not everyone is so squeamish! But I think the intent of that artwork is more symbolic than directly representative.
Click to expand...

I would like to see a picture of that.
Click to expand...

I don't know if this is that particular painting but this one is titled "The Androgyny of Christ".


The Androgyny of Christ.png
 
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