What do you do about rape?

[Rhea]

Here's a question (after you read the link). Men - what do you do to protect women from being raped?

(yes, of course, men are raped, too. Start your own thread for that, this is about a subset of rape)

 

[EricK]

The only thing I do to prevent rape, is not rape people. I can't really think of anything else I could do. I suppose I could spend more time with women to reduce the amount of time those women might spend alone with potential rapists, or deliberately walk on the same side of the street as women to reduce the chances that they are walking alone on the same side of the street as a potential rapist, but that would probably have a negligible effect. If I were driving along and saw a woman walking by herself, I could offer her a lift. But although I know she would be safe that way, there is no way she would know that - so she would rightly refuse my kind offer, and possibly report me for harassment, so I wouldn't do that.

 

[thebeave]

I wear a butt plug 24/7. Yeah, yeah, I know rape jokes are not funny, but I lol'd a bit.

 

[Bronzeage]

My greatest contribution to the problem is refraining from raping women. My reasons for this are personal, but not complicated. Beyond that, I recognize rape as a very wide ranging definition, just as any general classification of crime has.

When we consider theft, there are many degrees of the crime, and the severity depends upon two things, the amount stolen and the violence involved. This is one of the strange things about the way we view crime. The threat of violence during the theft, compounds the crime, even if no actual violence of injury occurs. "Armed Robbery" is one of the most severe classes of theft. This is a kind of paradox because most armed robbers carry a gun in order to avoid violence during the crime. It's more efficient.

In the general sense, about the most any man can do to protect women from being raped, is set a good example. Part of this good example is to recognize the full length of the scale of rape, especially at the closer end. No one has trouble recognizing a crime as rape when a man breaks through a bedroom window and assaults a woman. It's less clear if he were allowed to enter by the front door. But, just as an armed robber does not have to actually shoot anyone, the threat of violence, not the actual injury defines the crime. This is true, however subtle the threat may be.

 

[Terrell]

Respecting a no, w/r/t preventing women being raped.

As far as myself, refraining from committing crimes. Hopefully I will not be mistakenly accused of any crime that results in prison time. My mother warned me about drinks being spiked at a young age. She said if you leave a drink unattended, for any reason, don't drink it, same if someone brings you a drink that's already been opened. Since I don't drink alcohol that helps, but isn't perfect. Rape isn't the only possible motivation for spiking a drink, robbery can be one as well.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

My greatest contribution to the problem is refraining from raping women.

You know, when you say it like that, it sounds really simple.

Now I just feel like a dick.

 

[repoman]

Social Justice Warriors take what is a good sentiment and go overboard. Rape is a bad act with terrible consequences, but it is not something that needs to "put on a pedestal" as to its exclusive evilness. Ironically some men who rape seem to put some aspects of women on a pedestal with a twisted Madonna-Whore complex.

I think SJWs would be more effective by focusing on the ecology of general human connections (like Maslow's hierarchy of needs) and not protected classes and patriarchy.

That being said, excessive toxic and frankly evil male behaviors are best fixed by males sorting this out themselves.

 

[The Paul]

Is an SJW anything like a "white knight"?

 

[Valjean]

The possibility of rape never enters your average man's mind.

 

[repoman]

Ok, I will give a practical example,

A female coworker yesterday was talking about having an anonymous dating account with a throwaway email.

I pointed out to her that with google image search one of the possible psychos (already there has been one nutter) could put a picture of her into google image search and find its match on her public Facebook page. So she will only use throwaway pictures for that purpose now.

Scarily, I found the original (not blurred in the Daily Mail) picture of the woman who Elliot Rodger blamed his problems on using google image search.

 

[Bronzeage]

My greatest contribution to the problem is refraining from raping women.

You know, when you say it like that, it sounds really simple.

Now I just feel like a dick.

I am a river to my people.

 

[repoman]

SJW is not limited to white knighting at all. Often it is done by young politically active gays, women and minorities who are in the conceptual world building phase of their life who lean very leftward.

Sometimes it is an insulting label, but some proudly bear it.

Some parts of SJW are good for society, but I think the balance is off somehow. Even for the good ideas they have, maybe people take their suggestions to society as personal affronts.

Also, they seem to view almost all aspects of life from the prism of their echo chamber SJW dogma.

Thinking about politics too much can become a source of diminishing or even negative returns if it not done right - and most people don't do it right.

 

[KeepTalking]

The possibility of rape never enters your average man's mind.

This is true, however, that does not mean that men do not practice situational awareness when out in public, much like what is described by the women in the OP.

Having been mugged in the past, and having since acquired martial arts training, I can tell you that some of the things mentioned by the women in the OP are good to practice as a male to avoid muggings. There is one terrible piece of advice in that article, however, and that is the advice to not make eye contact. It is best to make eye contact, and acknowledge strangers who you may think are threatening. It lets the person in question know that you are aware of them. The last thing a criminal wants is to be identified, and if you avoid looking at them you are just playing into their hands. It also helps in identifying them later if it turns out they were meaning to do you harm.

As to the question in the OP, I can only echo what other men have said in this thread. I avoid raping people, full stop. I don't know what else women would expect me to do to keep them from being raped, other than to attempt to stop a rape in progress if I noticed one. Fortunately, I have never been in a situation where this last part needed to be put into action.

 

[repoman]

In the same way that Christians and Catholics make people feel guilt for "making" Jesus suffer for us, SJWs can at times collectivize guilt.



With respect to guilt, I think that a young man around SJWs can be made to absorb collective guilt about rape and racism and sexism and so on.

I like the "I don't rape" responses.

 

[The Paul]

SJW is not limited to white knighting at all. Often it is done by young politically active gays, women and minorities who are in the conceptual world building phase of their life who lean very leftward.

Sometimes it is an insulting label, but some proudly bear it.

Some parts of SJW are good for society, but I think the balance is off somehow. Even for the good ideas they have, maybe people take their suggestions to society as personal affronts.

Also, they seem to view almost all aspects of life from the prism of their echo chamber SJW dogma.

Thinking about politics too much can become a source of diminishing or even negative returns if it not done right - and most people don't do it right.

Thanks for clarifying.

In the same way that Christians and Catholics make people feel guilt for "making" Jesus suffer for us, SJWs can at times collectivize guilt.



With respect to guilt, I think that a young man around SJWs can be made to absorb collective guilt about rape and racism and sexism and so on.

I like the "I don't rape" responses.

Aw fuck, I read the comments.

I was gonna respond to the video, but then I look at the comments, and... I just can't even parse her anymore.

Fucking YouTube, really.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

You read YouTube comments? Aren't those just the toilet stall graffiti of the internet?

 

[Shadowy Man]

One thing that could be done by men to help prevent rape is to not tolerate misogyny, even in mild forms. If you're around your friends and someone makes a sexist joke, it's best to call them out on it. The lack of doing so can be interpreted as support for the opinions/thinking of a potential rapist, and it's best to make the statement, whether it really gets through to anyone or not, that those kinds of things are not acceptable and shouldn't be normal. Maybe the video games that portray women in the worst possible light shouldn't be bought. I know that a single person's actions in these regards isn't going to change all of culture and cultural inertia but its still better than doing "nothing" and the more a man can set an example or hold up an alternative to other men the more we have a chance of changing culture in the long term.

 

[braces_for_impact]

I don't think too many men (outside of an institutional setting, you could always ask them) worry about rape specifically, only violence in general.

 

[rousseau]

There isn't much I can do. I try to work against misogyny but I'm not under the illusion that I'm making much of an impact.

The biggest issue as a male, and the obvious elephant in the room, is that in an ideal world it's great to stand up against sexism and misogyny, but usually doing so comes at the cost of personal relationships that are much more valuable than whatever minimal impact you're having by calling out some person.

I have participated in events like Take Back the Night and have been vocal during those events, but I don't believe there is going to be a direct correlation between the effort I put into the cause and the change I make. I'm reminded of the small protests that I see occasionally in my city. Every now and then you see a group of 20-30 activists walking down one of our main streets chanting, nobody is listening to them, nobody cares. What they're doing is either admirable or dumb, depending on how you look at it.

This isn't to say that working against misogyny and sexual violence isn't worthwhile, and if a situation presents itself where I can make change I will act, but I'm not going to spend my life chipping away at a mountain with a butter knife, trying to get to the other side.

 

[repoman]

Yeah, there is some aspect to materialism and status seeking and misogyny that I see as a problem.

Men (and some women) taking it as an insult someone not being attracted to them, thinking all they need is a lot of cash. Wanting their peers to think they are cool by "bagging a woman". These are things that are part of the human condition and you will see chimps and baboons also engaging in somewhat similar dominance behavior.

The attitude of using someone for your pleasure while not giving a shit about them. That will lead to a higher chance of rape. But misogyny may not be the root cause much of the time. Same guy may steal from a "friend" or knock people out and laugh about it.

For low grade misogynist banter, I am sure I have been guilty of listening to it and saying it myself. The one that comes to mind is "I don't trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die". I laughed real hard when I first heard that joke. The analogous racist joke is "Why do black people have white palms? Because everybody has a little bit of good in them."

I think focusing on people with a lack of conscience is the better idea. How do we fix that?

What kind of coherent social movement can you have about being not exploiting people, not be conscienceless assholes? How do we fix the broken people who are jerks without pushing them further into their shells? Some of them can't be fixed now, but many can. But you can coddle them into being better people, you need to challenge and rebuke them sometimes. But it seems that too many people react to being tactfully called out for their asshole attitudes with rage.