• Welcome to the new Internet Infidels Discussion Board, formerly Talk Freethought.

What must ACME's disclaimer be like,

Keith&Co.

Keith&Co.

Contributor
Joined
Mar 31, 2006
Messages
22,444
Location
Far Western Mass
Gender
Here.
Basic Beliefs
I'm here...
What must ACME's disclaimer be like, that Wile E. hasn't sued them yet?

What's in the small print?

My guess:

ACME products are provided on a by-use basis for the desperate, OCD suffering, limited cash flow customer. Their use is contraindicated for government projects, people under the influence of Schedule Three medication, or anywhere in the vicinity of children. The purchaser of an ACME product assumes all credit for the successful use of the product, as well as all blame for improper assembly, improper use, or disregard for the basic laws of physics as understood by mainstream physicists and inertia-familiar professionals. There are no refunds for ACME products, although we would like to remind the customer that we have a working relationship with ACME Salvage, a wholly-owned subsidiary of ACME Products, who will purchase left over parts and piles of gravel following the successful or partially successful discharge of an ACME product. ACME has no responsibility for any death, maiming, free-fall, impact or other trauma incurred with relation to the actual assembly of an ACME product. ACME products are sold solely for entertainment purposes, which effort includes the assembly of the product.
 
This is not only gold funny, I never actually spent time on it until just now, and it is at this moment all I can think about. That, and how exactly does Acme get around having sold a massive amount of TNT to a coyote in the desert? Where was his mailbox? What kind of postal worker makes repeat delivers to a coyote in the middle of the desert after clearly seeing the holes and charcoal blackened marks of continued demolition projects gone awry? Where are all the government works and how come they didn't kidnap Marvin the Martian yet in order to experiment on him and then lie about it?

Oh, the questions . .. . . this is your fault, I hope you know that. -_-

And also . . . bedeh, bedeh, bedeh . . . That's all folks!
 
DolphinDynasty said:
This is not only gold funny, I never actually spent time on it until just now, and it is at this moment all I can think about. That, and how exactly does Acme get around having sold a massive amount of TNT to a coyote in the desert? Where was his mailbox? What kind of postal worker makes repeat delivers to a coyote in the middle of the desert after clearly seeing the holes and charcoal blackened marks of continued demolition projects gone awry? Where are all the government works and how come they didn't kidnap Marvin the Martian yet in order to experiment on him and then lie about it?

Oh, the questions . .. . . this is your fault, I hope you know that. -_-

And also . . . bedeh, bedeh, bedeh . . . That's all folks!
Click to expand...

And why is it that the Road Runner etc can get through those 'holes' he paints but he can't?

Cartoons have a lot to answer to!
 
Keith&Co. said:
What must ACME's disclaimer be like, that Wile E. hasn't sued them yet?

What's in the small print?

My guess:

ACME products are provided on a by-use basis for the desperate, OCD suffering, limited cash flow customer. Their use is contraindicated for government projects, people under the influence of Schedule Three medication, or anywhere in the vicinity of children. The purchaser of an ACME product assumes all credit for the successful use of the product, as well as all blame for improper assembly, improper use, or disregard for the basic laws of physics as understood by mainstream physicists and inertia-familiar professionals. There are no refunds for ACME products, although we would like to remind the customer that we have a working relationship with ACME Salvage, a wholly-owned subsidiary of ACME Products, who will purchase left over parts and piles of gravel following the successful or partially successful discharge of an ACME product. ACME has no responsibility for any death, maiming, free-fall, impact or other trauma incurred with relation to the actual assembly of an ACME product. ACME products are sold solely for entertainment purposes, which effort includes the assembly of the product.
Click to expand...

I'm SO stealing that! Seems like every product we introduce lately has more regulation and liability attached to it than the last. The good news is that people's lives are at stake, and if they die, it greatly reduces the chances that they will sue us.
 
Elixir said:
Keith&Co. said:
What must ACME's disclaimer be like, that Wile E. hasn't sued them yet?

What's in the small print?

My guess:

ACME products are provided on a by-use basis for the desperate, OCD suffering, limited cash flow customer. Their use is contraindicated for government projects, people under the influence of Schedule Three medication, or anywhere in the vicinity of children. The purchaser of an ACME product assumes all credit for the successful use of the product, as well as all blame for improper assembly, improper use, or disregard for the basic laws of physics as understood by mainstream physicists and inertia-familiar professionals. There are no refunds for ACME products, although we would like to remind the customer that we have a working relationship with ACME Salvage, a wholly-owned subsidiary of ACME Products, who will purchase left over parts and piles of gravel following the successful or partially successful discharge of an ACME product. ACME has no responsibility for any death, maiming, free-fall, impact or other trauma incurred with relation to the actual assembly of an ACME product. ACME products are sold solely for entertainment purposes, which effort includes the assembly of the product.
Click to expand...

I'm SO stealing that! Seems like every product we introduce lately has more regulation and liability attached to it than the last. The good news is that people's lives are at stake, and if they die, it greatly reduces the chances that they will sue us.
Click to expand...

They may win less in a lawsuit, but anybody can still file in local and county courts for any reason, with or without evidence. At least in New Jersey.

On the plus ide, and still funny odd, the disclaimers for all products and medications now take up 4 times more minutes to g through than the selling point gimmickery, which mean less of the Psychological trickery used in advertising.
 
gmbteach said:
DolphinDynasty said:
This is not only gold funny, I never actually spent time on it until just now, and it is at this moment all I can think about. That, and how exactly does Acme get around having sold a massive amount of TNT to a coyote in the desert? Where was his mailbox? What kind of postal worker makes repeat delivers to a coyote in the middle of the desert after clearly seeing the holes and charcoal blackened marks of continued demolition projects gone awry? Where are all the government works and how come they didn't kidnap Marvin the Martian yet in order to experiment on him and then lie about it?

Oh, the questions . .. . . this is your fault, I hope you know that. -_-

And also . . . bedeh, bedeh, bedeh . . . That's all folks!
Click to expand...

And why is it that the Road Runner etc can get through those 'holes' he paints but he can't?

Cartoons have a lot to answer to!
Click to expand...


I never liked that Road Runner could do things none of the other cartoons could. Not even Bugs had that kind of power. -_- And Bugs is the shizz.
 
Short video with a good ending, that is related. Who did the voiceover?



Alos, I remember another promo from a long time ago that was a disclaimer list. Can't find it.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom