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Which god is good with children?

Don2 (Don1 Revised)

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An unusual thing happened the other day. A person I know closely was asked to go somewhere they had never been before to engage in a spiritual journey. They were to meditate on what god or spirituality they'd like to be in their life and to imagine what kind of characteristics this being/spirituality has. They ended up going on a hike and came back with a particular god in mind. It's actually a god from a well-known mythology but I will not say which one.

Now the interesting thing here was that part of the reasoning for choosing this mythological god was that they said so-and-so "is good with children." I was thinking to myself this mythological god isn't known for that at all--even his extinct, ancient adherents never made such claims.

This got me thinking a little bit. If we like some god (say from a modern religion), do we project this particular characteristic onto it? (...because in modern society there is a big focus on the well-being and welfare of children...) YET, if we look at actual, objective evidence, there's a big mismatch between what we want to be and what is purported to be through the religious documentation, i.e. scripture.

So, suppose we examine such literature among different religions and mythologies....or at least keep the ancient stories in mind. Then, which god is good with children? Which god would be the best with children? Would it be some little known minor deity, like a Roman god of Babysitting? What is the reasoning for saying the answer you provide? Have you considered all the scriptures or just the ones you want?

Perhaps some harms and benefits to children should be considered in such an analysis. Not meant to be an extensive list...

Harms
  • Killing them off; mass fires; mass floods; first born sons of various tribes/races put to death; ordering wars, etc.
  • Ordering the sacrifice of children;
  • Torture; Slavery;
  • Locking them up because you are afraid they will challenge you one day.
  • Supporting various wars, making children orphans or murdered.

Benefits
  • Supporting the idea of feeding children.
  • Supporting the idea of taking care of orphans.
  • Supporting education.
  • Supporting peace.

So what's the best answer?
 
First, name a god that won't turn on you, like your stepdad hitting the Boone's Farm after a long shift at Piggly Wiggly. Even gentle Jesus, in his next-to-last appearance in That Book, has a giant sword coming out of his mouth. And how about his pa? Who, in the entire history of make believe, killed more babies, toddlers, pre-teens, and teens (along with parents, donkeys, etc.)? Nah, you're better off finding a nanny on Craigslist.
 
If we like some god (say from a modern religion), do we project this particular characteristic onto it?
There must have been something about that particular god that you liked (His hair?) before you started projecting your fav characteristics onto it. How else are you s’posed to create gods in your own image?
 
In light of 2 Kings 6, in which two mothers agree to eat each other's sons (and the first son does get cooked and eaten), I suppose it should be asked, which wine is good with children? I would think a nice merlot. Or sangria, which goes well with all sorts of children.
 
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In light of 2 Kings 6, in which two mothers agree to eat each other's sons (and the first son does get cooked and eaten), I suppose it should be asked, which wine is good with children? I would think a nice merlot. Or sangria, which goes well with all sorts of children.
President’s pal recommends a nice Chianti.
 
But, but but....I was told..

"Jesus loves the little children

All the children of the world

Red and yellow black and white

They are precious in his sight

Jesus loves the little children of the world."

Considering that racism is still a huge problem, maybe the conservative Christians are better off with the OT god. He was such a racist asshole.

I'm a woman so I want to be a female god.


Venus is the Roman goddess of love, beauty, prosperity, fertility, and victory. She was so important to Romans that they claimed her as their ancestress. According to mythology, her son AENEAS fled from TROY to Italy. He became the ancestor of Remus and Romulus, who founded Rome.

You might be wondering why we have a planet named Venus. The planet is, indeed, name after the goddess. It was visible in the ancient night sky at certain times of the year, and looked like a very bright star. Because it was so bright and beautiful, it was named Venus. Ironically, the planet Venus is covered with acid clouds, so the name is not very suitable for a goddess of love and fertility. Nevertheless, the name shows us how much of an impact the Romans had on science.

Venus sounds like a fun god to be. I choose Venus. I like all her traits and she even has a planet named after her. I'm Venus. :giggle: Since Venus is the goddess of fertility, she must be pretty good with children too.
 
Santa Claus is without a doubt the god who is best with children.

Unless you are thinking of the old-style Santa who punished naughty children in various way including (but not limited to) enslaving them or carrying them off to hell.

Or the modern day one who tries to sell them Coca Cola to make them obese, rot their teeth, and train them to be good little consumers for the corporations to bilk.

Yeah, it seems like there are zero gods that are good with kids. The only way to win is not to play.
 
"good with children" is a term which needs a more concise definition.

For a short period of my children's lives, I was God. Their world was created and controlled by me. They asked for whatever they desired, and sometimes I granted their prayers. There were times when I must have seemed to be Satan, but someone has to put the cookies out of reach an hour before dinner.

I could have made their early years a time of peace and complete satisfaction, and if they were cats, it might have been a practical course to take. As so many people have learned, an early life of doing what one wants, getting what one wants, and never suffering the indignity of being told "no", produces an intolerable adult.
 
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