I agree with discussing the text of her position rather than the behavior of her person.
To me, the ideas behind White Fragility are similar to longstanding ideas about 'checking your privileges'. In other words, I like the idea of exploring and analysing my own thoughts and actions about race, because (a) it will benefit me personally (who was it who said that a life unexamined is not worth living; attributed to Socrates I think) and (b) it may benefit those I come into contact with and thus (c) make a tiny difference to the society that I live in.
As to antiracism, that's a step further, but it needn't be a big one. At minimum it could be
'just don't be entirely passive, do something, sometimes at least, even if it's not very much, if a suitable opportunity arises'.
An interesting question is how much, in this arena of racial issues in western societies, and perhaps in particular the USA, an average white person should be (or could be said to be) obliged to do. I don't know the answer, and it will very much depend on the individual and the circumstances (a generally disadvantaged white person may not be obliged to do much if anything for a generally otherwise advantaged black person for instance). It's one thing to inwardly appreciate your own unearned advantages, but another thing to give up something to someone who might have fewer. That's essentially a personal sacrifice. Why should I make it? Charity begins at home, I have to look after myself, etc.
I think a reasonable bar might be to at least try to be self-aware, and also do something if you can, if it does not cost you much (cost in the broad sense and not just money). I might say that anything beyond that is optional but not obligatory.
A few simple examples:
1. Someone at a meeting you are attending, or a social event, comes out with something obviously and clearly racially prejudicial, perhaps even by accident or as attempted humour. There may or may not be a person present with the skin colour being referred to. It doesn't cost much to just chip in with a comment (or even just raised eyebrows). It doesn't have to be an overt calling out or an obvious chiding, just a counterpoint. You realise that everyone is fallible, including you, so you don't necessarily take a convenient position on higher, virtue-signalling moral ground. And for me, it'd have to be clear. I'm not going to start calling out every little possible thing, if I don't know the person or their views, and I also do tend to give some latitude to humour, which for me is valuable, and can be a part of healthy give and take banter, but it depends on several things, including context and perceived intent. It's a fine line though. But sometimes I fear that after the revolution, humour will not be tolerated.
2. Sometimes, you don't even have to explicitly articulate that you're doing it. For example, on a (pre-Covid) night out on the town, you go up to the bar and you try to get the attention of the (white) barman, because it's a really busy, crowded night at the bar. But you notice there's a black man who was already standing there for a while (and you are now beside him) and he's doing the same thing, but it seems to you the barman is not noticing him. Worse, he obviously does notice him because he makes brief eye contact with him frequently. After a while, it seems to you the barman is plainly and pointedly ignoring him in favour of other, white customers, even though there's nothing obviously awry about the black man (he doesn't seem too drunk already or anything). Eventually, the barman comes to you and asks you what your order is, and doesn't ask the guy standing right beside you, even though he's been there for longer. Of course, it may not be that the barman is being racist at all (that's the problem with covert or micro aggressions and the like, you can't be sure, and there could be other reasons the barman is not serving the guy) but there's just a feeling in your gut that he might be, even accidentally. So all you do, just in case, is say to the barman, indicating with your hand,
'actually I think this other guy was here before me'. Of course, one could say that you should do that anyway in that situation, no matter who is beside you, so perhaps that's not the best possible example.
3. Alternatively, it could just take the form of silently choosing, all other things being equal, to not buy something from someone or somewhere that you know to be a bit racially iffy, and to go elsewhere, if you can.
So, even if you think I've set a low bar there (which you easily may) I hope I've endorsed the ideas in question in a way that few could find objectionable. Which was my specific point in writing this long post.
