Why do adults so often forget how rotten kids can be?

[Potoooooooo]

I think this old Peanuts strip makes a very good point

Why do adults so often forget what children are really like
In an interview one of the creators of South Park said this

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/430977.stm

"The show's just a little upsetting to people who have an idyllic vision of what kids are like," reckons Matt Stone, the show's co-creator.

"Kids are not nice, innocent, flower-loving little rainbow children. Kids are all little bastards; they don't have any kind of social tact or etiquette."

Every one was a child once, so why do so many people forget this or seem oblivious to it?

 

[Shadowy Man]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/430977.stm

"The show's just a little upsetting to people who have an idyllic vision of what kids are like," reckons Matt Stone, the show's co-creator.

"Kids are not nice, innocent, flower-loving little rainbow children. Kids are all little bastards; they don't have any kind of social tact or etiquette."

Every one was a child once, so why do so many people forget this or seem oblivious to it?

Considering the popularity of the show South Park, it would seem to me that not only have a lot of people not forgotten that children can be little bastards but also they themselves have not outgrown that little bastard phase.

 

[James Brown]

I cringe when I think of my childhood. I was ostracized quite a bit by neighborhood kids and classmates. But it wasn't until I was more mature that I realized that the reason I was ostracized was mostly because of my own prickish behavior.

Bottom line: you would not have liked me as a kid.

 

[Nexus]

I cringe when I think of my childhood. I was ostracized quite a bit by neighborhood kids and classmates. But it wasn't until I was more mature that I realized that the reason I was ostracized was mostly because of my own prickish behavior.

The answer to the OP my be the people who were the opposite of you. The ones that did the ostracizing, bullying or other bad behavior might only remember the idyllic aspects of their own childhood because they never experienced the alienation. And they won't admit to themselves the pain they caused others. So in keeping with their self-centered perspective they ignore other children's struggle and view the past with rose colored glasses.

 

[GenesisNemesis]

There are only a few times I can actually remember doing something dickish.

 

[credoconsolans]

To the OP: parents romanticize and sentimentalize children.

They forget or aren't present when their kids beat up on each other or throw rocks in each other's faces. I have a 3 inch scar on my arm from a 3rd degree burn given to me by a sibling's hot curling iron during a fight. Not to worry, she has a scar of a stab wound in her back from where I got back at her with a sharp pencil.

She IS my favorite sister.

I cringe when I think of my childhood. I was ostracized quite a bit by neighborhood kids and classmates. But it wasn't until I was more mature that I realized that the reason I was ostracized was mostly because of my own prickish behavior.

The answer to the OP my be the people who were the opposite of you. The ones that did the ostracizing, bullying or other bad behavior might only remember the idyllic aspects of their own childhood because they never experienced the alienation. And they won't admit to themselves the pain they caused others. So in keeping with their self-centered perspective they ignore other children's struggle and view the past with rose colored glasses.

This. My siblings and I spent a lot of time with my cousins growing up. They went to the same school as we did. Our parents thought it was great that we could all grow up together.

Except our cousins were an abusive bully who beat me up every time I wouldn't do what he said and my other cousin was a control freak who insulted us on a regular basis, beating down my sibling's self-esteem so much her teachers eventually told our mother she would do better in school if she WASN'T with our cousin.

Years, later, we're all adults now and they think we all had such a great time growing up.

I brought up being beat up by my cousin once. He blinked like he didn't remember, then he laughed, "Oh, you know, kids."

Yeah, funny. To him. Not to me. Never to me. I still remember that all these years later.

 

[IanSYK]

"Kids are all little bastards; they don't have any kind of social tact or etiquette."

Well I was a "quiet well mannered boy", who was "polite and cooperative."

 

[Unbeatable]

I'm 30 and I haven't forgotten it yet. I haven't forgotten being ridiculed or ridiculing others, I haven't forgotten seeing people bullied. I haven't forgotten the kids who wet themselves, broke down crying, got into fights, etc. My childhood memories are characterized by humiliation and anxiety and frustration and fantasies of murder, and I didn't even have it that bad compared to the kids who were actuallly bullied.

If anything, it's the good times that I've forgotten. I've been told by people who were there at the time that there were good times, but somehow my memories of them are very fuzzy. I know I had friends back then, that I had fun in various ways, but those times aren't nearly as memorable as the painful times.

 

[braces_for_impact]

I'm 30 and I haven't forgotten it yet. I haven't forgotten being ridiculed or ridiculing others, I haven't forgotten seeing people bullied. I haven't forgotten the kids who wet themselves, broke down crying, got into fights, etc. My childhood memories are characterized by humiliation and anxiety and frustration and fantasies of murder, and I didn't even have it that bad compared to the kids who were actuallly bullied.

If anything, it's the good times that I've forgotten. I've been told by people who were there at the time that there were good times, but somehow my memories of them are very fuzzy. I know I had friends back then, that I had fun in various ways, but those times aren't nearly as memorable as the painful times.

I never looked at it that way, but I think you're right. Shame that.

 

[gmbteach]

I remember being a child. I was the best behaved daughter any parent could want.

My brothers ALWAYS did something wrong, especially to me, the horrible boys. I remember one day my middle brother put on my brand new lycra swimsuit and I laughed at him. He ran after me with an axe.

So as I said, I never did anything wrong. Not even laughing at my brothers....

 

[Playball40]

I'm 30 and I haven't forgotten it yet. I haven't forgotten being ridiculed or ridiculing others, I haven't forgotten seeing people bullied. I haven't forgotten the kids who wet themselves, broke down crying, got into fights, etc. My childhood memories are characterized by humiliation and anxiety and frustration and fantasies of murder, and I didn't even have it that bad compared to the kids who were actuallly bullied.

If anything, it's the good times that I've forgotten. I've been told by people who were there at the time that there were good times, but somehow my memories of them are very fuzzy. I know I had friends back then, that I had fun in various ways, but those times aren't nearly as memorable as the painful times.

Wow. I remember both. The good and the bad and I'm much older than you.

 

[Perspicuo]

Kids are dickish? Yeah sure people forget... that they were and still are dickish!

Linnæus should have called the species Homo dickishens.

 

[Unbeatable]

I'm 30 and I haven't forgotten it yet. I haven't forgotten being ridiculed or ridiculing others, I haven't forgotten seeing people bullied. I haven't forgotten the kids who wet themselves, broke down crying, got into fights, etc. My childhood memories are characterized by humiliation and anxiety and frustration and fantasies of murder, and I didn't even have it that bad compared to the kids who were actuallly bullied.

If anything, it's the good times that I've forgotten. I've been told by people who were there at the time that there were good times, but somehow my memories of them are very fuzzy. I know I had friends back then, that I had fun in various ways, but those times aren't nearly as memorable as the painful times.

Wow. I remember both. The good and the bad and I'm much older than you.

Yeah, my mother's like that, although she makes a conscious effort to dwell on the good. I don't have the spoons for that. These days I rarely think of my childhood at all, but until a few years ago, painful experiences in the present would on a daily basis trigger involuntary recollections of painful past experiences, which would replay in my mind over and over, and trigger recollections of other painful past experiences. As a result, I essentially have a lot more practice retrieving unpleasant memories than pleasant ones. Anxiety/depression medications helped reduce the frequency and intensity of the emotions which would fuel said recollections, but the asymmetrical capacity for recall is essentially a learned skill that can't be unlearned, a hypertrophied muscle. In the absence of some sort of positive counterpart to anxiety/depression(or a pill that can simulate such) to force me to involuntarily recall positive experiences, it's unlikely that my atrophied capacity for recalling positive experiences will ever rehabilitate to the point where it can catch up.

 

[dystopian]

Every one was a child once, so why do so many people forget this or seem oblivious to it?

In my experience, the people who seem oblivious to it were themselves the popular kids when they were young. They rarely experienced bullying and the like; and if they did it themselves they'd explain it away as 'oh we were just playing, lighten up'. God I hate those people.

 

[dendrast]

The only people more obnoxious, self centred and cruel than kids are teenagers. High School was infinitely worse than the lower grades. It had everything, amplified by hormones.

Then, of course, there are adults. Same as the above, with real power.

 

[ideologyhunter]

Dendrast is so right. There's a real sadism in the social pecking order in high school. A real intent to hurt others. It doesn't require a majority to do it; it can be carried out by all sorts of subsets in the student population. The only good news is that on graduation day it all becomes immediately nonsensical and nonexistent. But that can be a long four years for the kids on the receiving end.

 

[Shadowy Man]

I feel sorry for those kids who had that kind of experience in high school. I know that I didn't and had always assumed that it was some kind of overblown caricaturization presented in the movies. My high school was very diverse though, and that probably took the edge off of it.

 

[Potoooooooo]

Dendrast is so right. There's a real sadism in the social pecking order in high school. A real intent to hurt others. It doesn't require a majority to do it; it can be carried out by all sorts of subsets in the student population. The only good news is that on graduation day it all becomes immediately nonsensical and nonexistent. But that can be a long four years for the kids on the receiving end.

two things
1) Elementary school can be just as bad
2)Sometimes this can follow you your whole life

 

[dystopian]

Dendrast is so right. There's a real sadism in the social pecking order in high school. A real intent to hurt others. It doesn't require a majority to do it; it can be carried out by all sorts of subsets in the student population. The only good news is that on graduation day it all becomes immediately nonsensical and nonexistent. But that can be a long four years for the kids on the receiving end.

two things
1) Elementary school can be just as bad
2)Sometimes this can follow you your whole life

I'll personally attest to 2). I'm 32 and it's still fucking with me in some serious ways (although in my case, there were issues with teachers and other stuff as well; so I can't blame everything on just the bullying).

I do think; or like to think; that it's better for kids now that we're past either the 'It's not a big deal stage' or the post-columbine stage of 'oh my god we need to crack down on kids who are different cause they're about to shoot us all'. When I was growing up, bullying wasn't yet seen as a social issue really. There was some attention given to it, but mostly it was just ignored and not accepted as a serious problem. If you couldn't handle it, then that was just because you were 'whining' or 'weak' or whatever.

 

[ideologyhunter]

Yes, definitely. When I said it becomes nonsensical/nonexistent on graduation day, I meant that who is popular/unpopular no longer has meaning. I know about long-term emotional pain from hazing. I'm a huge fan of Janis Joplin, who is a case in point. She had a small band of friends in h.s., but the majority didn't take to her and let her know it. Going to the U. of T. in Austin, she had a beatnik phase going, got pretty unkempt, and was voted Ugliest Man on Campus in some sort of faux election of campus 'celebs.' She never got over it -- and it would take a person with a strong ego to get over that nasty a 'joke.'