Jarhyn
Wizard
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2010
- Messages
- 14,722
- Gender
- Androgyne; they/them
- Basic Beliefs
- Natural Philosophy, Game Theoretic Ethicist
Because I wasn't about to call myself a eunuch until I was a eunuch, until I was sure. That's really what I mean by "gender: wizard". It's a joke in some respects because, well, my ideal self image literally has no bearing of the binary or any of that.Thanks for helping us understand your situation. I had no idea that you considered yourself a eunuch. I apologize if you feel I was "putting you in a box". That was never my intention. I hope you find a good solution to your personal issues. I may not ever understand how you feel, but I am not judging you.Not really "trans" unless you mean "trans-neuter".Thanks for sharing your complex issues, but what you have described sounds more like a transgender person who feels stuck in the body of the sex that doesn't reflect their brain
It's not a confliction of body parts. The body parts I want and want to feel are not on the menu of "things easily evoked from human biochemistry".
I can't exactly speak to fluidity. As I have said, I think for the vast majority of "fluid" folks, it's an excuse to feel less constrained and to explore until they find where they really belong.It's the gender fluidity, based primarily on what I've read on sites specifically for such folks that I am having trouble understanding
I'm admittedly not fluid. I'm also quite non-binary.
No. It's not about body parts matching brains for me. I am not transgender in the typical way. I'm (chemically) a eunuch.Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying that because one's body parts don't match their brains, such as in the case of a transgender person, that it's better or acceptable to simply identify as nonbinary?
I'm not a woman.
My body naturally produces testosterone in levels higher than I wanted, so I take a medication that makes testosterone do nothing to my body.
I am saying that for those who are exploring, it's better to let them explore without making strict and strong declaration on what they are until they find it, test their feelings on the matter sufficiently, and make some informed decisions on the matter.
Sometimes, like me, they won't find themselves clear of "nonbinary" and sometimes they will.
I can't give you a pile of research. I can only give you one observation by someone who has approached their own life in a scientific way.There is not as of yet, that I know of, any science to help us understand being gender fluid or not having any gender, etc.
Fluidity is in my estimation a crutch for most, much like most budding gays have a "bisexual" phase. I will grant that some people truly are bisexual. I have quite a number of friends. Even as a eunuch I'm still sexual, but it's something I approach creatively every time, and something I have to decide I want to do.
This is absolutely correct. But it does not change the fact that I don't identify as male or female. I spent the last two years to get permission to be a eunuch.Nobody should feel inferior if they identify as male or female but don't fill the traditional stereotypical roles associated with that gender.
Obviously, there are ways I could make that happen more readily, but not without being considered as mentally damaged or unfit. It will take me months or even years of taking these pills before I will both have no testicles and also not be seen as a self-harmer.
I have dreams of having an opportunity to be the "house-spouse". This does not make me a woman.
I have dreams of having a career making things that disrupt the very foundations of society. This does not make me a man.
I am, exactly, a eunuch.
I'm pretty sure that's non-binary.
Maybe, but probably not. For most, it's the halfway-out-of-the-egg-house. YMMV.So, if a person is very assertive but also very nurturing, does that mean that person could be nonbinary?
More I suspect it's not likely for neurotypical folks to ever be nonbinary. Vanishingly so, in fact.
For some I suppose it's "I dislike you assigning me a comorbidity just because I have some traits" or "you will never truly come to understand me by trying to put me in such a box."
Exactly what I meant when I said before: that gender is the model of the ideal self, some image that you hope to reify.What exactly do we even mean when we speak of gender these days? Believe me. I've searched with an open mind but have yet to find any rational answers
One of the first things most people do is assign it traits THEY consider masculine or feminine, and then they seek to emulate those traits.
Sometimes there's more than one such image and people vacillate between which image they feel like at the moment.
Some people lack an image of such entirely.
When the ideal is the immediate seeming of yourself it can be hard to distinguish the idea that there is an image at all... You might just mistake that pretty of you as a mirror rather than a goal object!
That is in many ways what it means to be cis.
Sometimes the image is built and the builder sees a common thread between what drives their selection of aspects of this "perfect self" and they find that exactly what they like about all these things is their androgyny!
Why do people form such images? I'm not sure there is anything rational about it other than the fact that it helps us grow to accomplish new things when we struggle towards such dreams.
I had the idea that you identified as female based on some comments you had made on some older threads. Sometimes I do find your posts a bit confusing, but that doesn't mean that I don't respect you for who you are. I was done with this thread but wanted to make sure that you knew I had no ill feelings towards you. From my perspective, you are a rare but interesting individual. Sorry it's caused you what appears to be emotional distress. At least that's the impression I've gotten from some of your comments. None of my comments are meant to be insulting, so please don't take them that way. Sometimes it's hard to express ourselves clearly on a discussion board. It happens to all of us. I appreciate your willingness to try and help us understand your situation.
You caused me no emotional distress. In fact, the most distress I felt was in trying to make clear a path where I could help you finally understand, because I felt like YOU were experiencing distress in trying to understand something so alien to the normal human experience.
I will accept that it can be confusing sometimes reading my posts because often I write sentences that are very complex. I also am very reserved over certain things: I say many things that are true but I do not always say the whole truth.
Part of the point was to make an implication that would leverage a false conclusion towards "binary thinkers" that could reveal to them just how binary they are being in thought, and to shine light on a conclusion that operating in that way runs roughshod over the edge cases.
It is in some ways designed to make you ask yourself a trick question just so you realize that the question is tricky:
"You DON'T really know 'what I am'!"
I also admittedly like being able to tell the likes of Metaphor "I'm not a man" and let them make asses of themselves in claiming I am from "what I'm not". They don't know what I am, and "what I am not" does not imply "what I am".
I seek in many ways to be confusing to the binary thinkers on purpose.
Well, I guess I can't do as much of that now since the cat's out of the bag, at least to the current audience.
Even so, I don't feel like you were "putting me in a box". You've been careful not to, in fact, which I kind of appreciate (even if you have a hard time understanding sometimes, though it's my fault for engineering that situation). I was also trying to write for a general audience about a general thing in a way designed first and foremost to force people to think deeply about how they perceive things.
I have a number of other nonbinary friends as well, not halfway-in-the-egg but honestly NB folks, too: folks whose self image is a known admixture of traits, some classically considered feminine and some considered masculine but selected "a-la-carte" style.
If you have any more questions or curiosity, I'm always open to answer. Just @ me, and I'll probably respond (or ask in private, it's all good).