35 Questions Black People Have For White People

[Derec]

This is one thing I actually do not do and never have – as a platinum blonde child, people were always touching mine. Espcially when we went to mexico. I understood the fascination, yet still never understood the willingness to invade space. I can’t fathom people deciding to do this after the age of about 7, without a good relationship that would get permission.

Exactly. I understand why people would be curious how it feels, as it is a very different texture, but respect people's personal space.

Ooh. And speaking of hair, yet another one for "Billie Holliday" (happy belated birthday by the way).

38. Why do y'all feel the need to obscure your own hair with wigs, weaves and hair extensions?

People do this one?

I think the author found somebody on Twitter. Of course, if you wanted to make a list of stupid things people say on Twitter it'd have a lot more than 35 points.

Actually, yes. Socially unpleasant exaggerations/creations cause bad feeling. I hate those shows. Any of the shows that stereotype people.

Meh. Nobody has to watch these shows and I certainly don't. When "Sorority Sisters" debuted there was an outcry here about how it stereotypes black women. Never even heard of it before and I am sure some people only tuned in because of the controversy.

Except Big bang Theory, because that is a show about my father.

Which character is he?

35. You’re going to leave a comment saying “If white people made a post like this about black people, it’d be racist,” aren’t you?
Seriously now, if white people made a post like this about black people, it would be decidedly mean-spirited and un-funny and yes, racist. They wouldn’t ask about dancing and spices and shorts and birkenstocks. They’d ask nasty shit.

I.e. it's ok if black people do it.

 

[Canard DuJour]

1. Is clapping on beat really that hard?

Oh. We thought it was just really slow applause.

2. Why do y’all dance like that?

Because we need 12 beers first.

3. Will you PLEASE stop trying to touch our hair without asking?

OK. ..oops, nearly touchd it again. And again, sorry.

4. Why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play white fictional characters?

It's political correctness gone mad!

5. And why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play fictional characters that are actually of color?

It's political correctness gone mad!

6. Why do you riot when your sports team loses?

See below.

7. Why do you riot when your sports team wins?

See above.

8. Are y’all ever gonna stop wearing Jesus sandals?

Yep, the day they stop selling argyll socks.

9. And speaking of Jesus, you know he wasn’t white, right?

Excuse me, historical evidence clearly shows that he was a Norwegian.



10. Southerners, do you really not get why the Confederate flag is offensive to us?

Because you don't like rockabilly..?

11. Are you all really into pumpkin spice like that?

Was she the gingery one with the boobies?

12. Are you worried that reality shows like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Mob Wives cast white people in a stereotypical light?

No, we're worried we make them look classy.

13. Why are y’all so obsessed with gluten?

What's not to obsess about?

14. Do you have family reunions?

Yes, we throw ornaments and get them repaired.

15. Why don’t you use washcloths?

We do, only we call them flannels. Hmm.. feckin silly word, that.

16. Why do you want to say the n-word soooooo badly?

Because you seem to be having such fun with it.

17. Why do you always make such awful decisions in horror movies?

We all split up so the monster/psycho can bump off the token black character first.

18. Is your black friend cool with being used as the reason you “can’t be racist”?

Can't say I've even noticed what colour my friends are.

19. Can you please take Iggy Azalea back?

Nah, you keep it. I'd only forget to water it.

20. What is it like being able to talk shit to police officers and not worry about being shot?

What on earth are you talking about? Honestly, you'd think we lived in different worlds or something.

21. Why do y’all need an “extreme” or “ultimate” version of all the sports?

It gives us the edge.

22. Why do y’all like “Turn Down for What” and the “Ignition” remix so much?

We can almost dance and clap to them.

23. How come you can’t pronounce “black names” like Quvenzhané but can say Schwarzenegger, Galifianakis, and LaBeouf just fine?

Erm, we can't. Pronouncing foreign names properly is queer.

24. Do you all really eat green bean casserole? And like it?

Vegetables? Nah, none of that foreign muck.

25. What do you have against seasonings and spices?

We now have food consisting entirely of seasonings and spices. But we need 12 beers first.

26. Why do you kiss your dogs in the mouth?

Because little princess loves giving papa a smackerooni ..mmmwah mwah mwah!

27. Why do you wear shorts in the winter?

Because sometimes the sun is visible for 15 consecutive minutes.

28. Do you know how messed up using the term “nonwhite” to describe people of color is?

It's political correctness gone ..no, hang on..

29. Do you know that “you’re not like other black people” is not a compliment?

Oh, come off it. It's OK to want to be white. We understand.

30. Why do y’all think you discovered “beauty trends” that we’ve been doing for years, like cornrows, Timberlands, and having a big ass?

Serves you right for stealing jazz and blues.

31. Are you aware that Friends was basically a rip-off of Living Single?

Rubbish! It's based on a play by Walter Sheakespier.

32. If being a minority isn’t so bad, why are you so terrified of being one?

I'm NOT terrified of being one! I had a little slip and have never even thought about going to another gay sauna. Ever!

33. What’s the deal with cargo pants? Why do you need such an extreme number of pockets?

Ammo.

34. You don’t really believe that racism is over because we have a black president, do you?

Hmph! They'll be wanting a black God next.

35. You’re going to leave a comment saying “If white people made a post like this about black people, it’d be racist,” aren’t you?

It's political correctness gone mad!

 

[Bronzeage]

What do black people think white people use in place of a washcloth. That's a new one to me.

Is this the control question, just to gauge the indignant factor?

I don't get this one either.

I mean, I'm as white as the driven Pollacks, but to this day we washcloths.

Tell you what.

Watch a soap commercial. The person in the commercial will most likely be white (used to always be white) and I defy you to find a wash cloth. Think about shower and bath scenes in movies. Same deal. Now you may have noticed the lack of a washcloth, but i bet you didn't register that was a white person. It was just a person.

If your only information about what white people do in the shower comes from watching television, this is understandable. Soap commercials are intended to concentrate attention on the soap. Shower scenes in movies are intended to concentrate attention on naked bodies. And, bless your heart, you picked up on the lack of washcloths.

For what it's worth, I just did a word search on my last book. There are two shower scenes and two bathtub scenes. A washcloth is featured in all four. I like to write bathing scenes. The washcloth ends up floating in the water or on the floor of the shower, but that's the nature of the thing.

More of for what it's worth, my black friend I use to prove I am not a racist likes to play the "why do white people do....?" game all the time. The last one was, "Why do white people keep their ketchup cold?" I told him it was because refrigerators are white. He goes onto a sermon about how crazy it is to dip a hot french fry into cold ketchup.

 

[bigfield]

For what it's worth, I just did a word search on my last book. There are two shower scenes and two bathtub scenes. A washcloth is featured in all four. I like to write bathing scenes. The washcloth ends up floating in the water or on the floor of the shower, but that's the nature of the thing.

Obviously, your characters are black.

 

[Bronzeage]

For what it's worth, I just did a word search on my last book. There are two shower scenes and two bathtub scenes. A washcloth is featured in all four. I like to write bathing scenes. The washcloth ends up floating in the water or on the floor of the shower, but that's the nature of the thing.

Obviously, your characters are black.

In another story, and in another shower, one of the characters is black. She is the one who uttered the often quoted line, "Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." A wash cloth was featured.

 

[bigfield]

Obviously, your characters are black.

In another story, and in another shower, one of the characters is black. She is the one who uttered the often quoted line, "Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." A wash cloth was featured.

There's another black name I don't know how to pronounce: 'Myquelle'

 

[Bronzeage]

In another story, and in another shower, one of the characters is black. She is the one who uttered the often quoted line, "Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." A wash cloth was featured.

There's another black name I don't know how to pronounce: 'Myquelle'

You are good.

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

x

I wonder why Athena is never accused of "hobby horsing" race even though she posts more threads on race than I do on gender. And she even gets a pass when a post is a list of racist stereotypes against whites.

You're both unintentionally comical.

Lol they are. And Derec, she is. She was in this very thread long before your post above. <edited>

 

[Rhea]

Except Big bang Theory, because that is a show about my father.

Which character is he?

My dad is Sheldon. Down to the perfect spot in the room and the brightly colored shirts.
Minus the eating quirks. My dad would eat anything at all.

35. You’re going to leave a comment saying “If white people made a post like this about black people, it’d be racist,” aren’t you?
Seriously now, if white people made a post like this about black people, it would be decidedly mean-spirited and un-funny and yes, racist. They wouldn’t ask about dancing and spices and shorts and birkenstocks. They’d ask nasty shit.

I.e. it's ok if black people do it.

No, that's not what I said.
I said; if white people did it, I would expect high odds that it would be done with mean spirit and actually racist. So it would be correct to call it racist. (as can be seen from some of the reply questions posted here)

Where as this one was about silly things like birkenstocks, washcloths and clapping and came off as mostly humorous.

 

[Rhea]

I wonder why Athena is never accused of "hobby horsing" race even though she posts more threads on race than I do on gender. And she even gets a pass when a post is a list of racist stereotypes against whites.

I admit to kinda laughing right out loud at you for the idea that not using washcloths, wearing birkenstocks or cargo pants, not liking spices, clapping off beat and family reunions is "a list of stereotype against whites."

 

[thebeave]

You all are trivializing the racial disparity in washcloth use, but its actually quite a serious example of a "microaggression" that white people use against black people. For those who don't know, a "microaggression" is a subtle, often unintended racist remark made by white people against non-white people. For example, a white KFC employee who automatically assumes that a black customer came into the restaurant to buy chicken for lunch, when its quite likely the black person came into the KFC for a meal of just mashed potatoes, coleslaw and a soda. Things like that. Anyhoo, back to washcloths. There was a long forgotten incident many years ago after the 1973 World Series when Rollie Fingers, Bert Campaneris and Reggie Jackson were all in the locker room shower together, and Reggie saw Rollie and Bert huddling together, whispering and giggling while watching him shower. Reggie didn't know what it was all about, but found out later that a reporter's microphone was accidentally left on in the locker room, and it recorded the whole exchange. Turns out Rollie and Bert were cracking jokes about Reggie using a washcloth... for example, saying his nickname should be changed from Mr. October to Mr. Washcloth, etc. Reggie took it up with management and filed a racial harrassmment complaint and both Bert and Rollie were suspended for the first six games of the 1974 season for washcloth shaming of a black person.

 

[Metaphor]

19. Can you please take Iggy Azalea back?

For those crackers who don't know who she is, Iggy Azalea is an Australian-born (White) hip hop artist who had a huge hit with 'Fancy' and has been Grammy nominated.

Presumably, the above comment is aimed at either Australians of any colour, or White people of any ethnicity. Since I tick both boxes, I'll respond. I assume the creator of the list represents the entire Black community, and is outraged and incensed that Iggy 'appropriated' hip hop culture which means she stole it from its rightful owners, like Azealia Banks.

Of course, the fact that Iggy stole nothing but in fact created something popular that millions of people wanted and paid for is entirely irrelevant because her White skin and her success leads to 'cultural smudging' (Azealia Banks' words).

Lorde was also subject to the same mindless and racist attacks when her multi million selling 'Royals' dared to criticise hip hop culture. What the world doesn't know is that Australia and New Zealand have united in an antipodean conspiracy to 'appropriate' American Black culture by exporting young White women and then drugging the water supply of 320 million Americans to trick them into buying their songs.

 

[fast]

What is it like being able to talk shit to police officers and not worry about being shot?

Never talked shit to police officers. Neither have I fled from the police, scuffled with police, tried to take a cop's gun or taser, charged at the police, shot at the police, brandished a gun at the police, stole a gun etc.

I just imagined you wearing a t-shirt that says, I CAN BREATHE -- with those remarks in bullet points.

 

[AthenaAwakened]

What do black people think white people use in place of a washcloth. That's a new one to me.

Is this the control question, just to gauge the indignant factor?

I don't get this one either.

I mean, I'm as white as the driven Pollacks, but to this day we washcloths.

Tell you what.

Watch a soap commercial. The person in the commercial will most likely be white (used to always be white) and I defy you to find a wash cloth. Think about shower and bath scenes in movies. Same deal. Now you may have noticed the lack of a washcloth, but i bet you didn't register that was a white person. It was just a person.

If your only information about what white people do in the shower comes from watching television, this is understandable. Soap commercials are intended to concentrate attention on the soap. Shower scenes in movies are intended to concentrate attention on naked bodies. And, bless your heart, you picked up on the lack of washcloths.

For what it's worth, I just did a word search on my last book. There are two shower scenes and two bathtub scenes. A washcloth is featured in all four. I like to write bathing scenes. The washcloth ends up floating in the water or on the floor of the shower, but that's the nature of the thing.

More of for what it's worth, my black friend I use to prove I am not a racist likes to play the "why do white people do....?" game all the time. The last one was, "Why do white people keep their ketchup cold?" I told him it was because refrigerators are white. He goes onto a sermon about how crazy it is to dip a hot french fry into cold ketchup.

You know he right, right?

 

[AthenaAwakened]

19. Can you please take Iggy Azalea back?

For those crackers who don't know who she is, Iggy Azalea is an Australian-born (White) hip hop artist who had a huge hit with 'Fancy' and has been Grammy nominated.

Presumably, the above comment is aimed at either Australians of any colour, or White people of any ethnicity. Since I tick both boxes, I'll respond. I assume the creator of the list represents the entire Black community, and is outraged and incensed that Iggy 'appropriated' hip hop culture which means she stole it from its rightful owners, like Azealia Banks.

Of course, the fact that Iggy stole nothing but in fact created something popular that millions of people wanted and paid for is entirely irrelevant because her White skin and her success leads to 'cultural smudging' (Azealia Banks' words).

Lorde was also subject to the same mindless and racist attacks when her multi million selling 'Royals' dared to criticise hip hop culture. What the world doesn't know is that Australia and New Zealand have united in an antipodean conspiracy to 'appropriate' American Black culture by exporting young White women and then drugging the water supply of 320 million Americans to trick them into buying their songs.

No, People of all colors don't like Iggy Azalea because she's a no talent hack.

People who love Eminem, Adele, Amy Winehouse, even the old schoolers like me who adore the Brothers Gibb, across lines of race, class, age, etc. all agree the Iggy has got to GO!

 

[Bronzeage]

What do black people think white people use in place of a washcloth. That's a new one to me.

Is this the control question, just to gauge the indignant factor?

I don't get this one either.

I mean, I'm as white as the driven Pollacks, but to this day we washcloths.

Tell you what.

Watch a soap commercial. The person in the commercial will most likely be white (used to always be white) and I defy you to find a wash cloth. Think about shower and bath scenes in movies. Same deal. Now you may have noticed the lack of a washcloth, but i bet you didn't register that was a white person. It was just a person.

If your only information about what white people do in the shower comes from watching television, this is understandable. Soap commercials are intended to concentrate attention on the soap. Shower scenes in movies are intended to concentrate attention on naked bodies. And, bless your heart, you picked up on the lack of washcloths.

For what it's worth, I just did a word search on my last book. There are two shower scenes and two bathtub scenes. A washcloth is featured in all four. I like to write bathing scenes. The washcloth ends up floating in the water or on the floor of the shower, but that's the nature of the thing.

More of for what it's worth, my black friend I use to prove I am not a racist likes to play the "why do white people do....?" game all the time. The last one was, "Why do white people keep their ketchup cold?" I told him it was because refrigerators are white. He goes onto a sermon about how crazy it is to dip a hot french fry into cold ketchup.

You know he right, right?

He's right about a lot of stuff, but sometimes he goes way wide of the mark. Last year he had gig at casino. He drives around the back to unload his bass and amp and other stuff. A man in a suit and tie comes up and says "Can I help you," in a stern tone of voice. Since he knows he is where he is supposed to be, doing what he is supposed to do, he says "No," in just as stern a voice.

I say, "That was dumb." This puzzled him. "You should have told him to carry the pre-amp. When he refused, you say, I guess asking to help was just bullshit."

He gives me the face and says, "That is so fucking white. I wish I had thought of that."

 

[lpetrich]

35 Questions Black People Have For White People

1. Is clapping on beat really that hard?

What does that refer to? We honkies can certainly move rhythmically -- if we try.

2. Why do y’all dance like that?

???

3. Will you PLEASE stop trying to touch our hair without asking?

Fair enough. You could say "I'll let you touch my hair if you let me touch yours". See what response you get.

I've noticed that many black women try to straighten out their hair. Is this some sort of inferiority complex? For a case of a hair inferiority complex going in the opposite direction, consider The Rolling Stone Interview: Madonna | Rolling Stone in early 1989. She claimed that as a little girl, she would weave wire into her honkie hair so she could get braids that stuck up, like what her black friends had.

4. Why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play white fictional characters?

I don't freak out, but it would not be much worse than other cases of appearance mismatch. Like Cleopatra being played by someone with blue eyes, when she would have looked more like Marina Sirtis. She wasn't "native" Egyptian, she was Greek, a descendant of one of Alexander the Great's generals. Her name is a Greek one: "father's glory".

5. And why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play fictional characters that are actually of color?

I wouldn't -- it's actually an appearance match.

6. Why do you riot when your sports team loses?
7. Why do you riot when your sports team wins?

I'm not much into sports, certainly not as a spectator, and I've never been very curious about that. But I agree that white sports rioters seem to get off easy.

8. Are y’all ever gonna stop wearing Jesus sandals?

I've never seen one.

9. And speaking of Jesus, you know he wasn’t white, right?

He was almost certainly Caucasoid, even if not as pale a northern European. He certainly wouldn't have had blue eyes or blond hair. There's a recent reconstruction of his likely appearance that makes him look like George Michael.

10. Southerners, do you really not get why the Confederate flag is offensive to us?

They whine about "heritage", but they ought to be embarrassed about it. Very embarrassed about it.

11. Are you all really into pumpkin spice like that?

For pumpkin pie? Yes.

12. Are you worried that reality shows like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Mob Wives cast white people in a stereotypical light?

Duck Dynasty would be an even better example, I think. But I get that point.

13. Why are y’all so obsessed with gluten?

Some of us are made sick by it, it seems.

14. Do you have family reunions?

Beats me.

15. Why don’t you use washcloths?

I've never thought about that.

16. Why do you want to say the n-word soooooo badly?

I myself wouldn't use that word, just as I wouldn't use other racial and ethnic insults. But I'm not afraid of using those that refer to myself. I'm a damnyankee seppo honkie cracker gringo.

17. Why do you always make such awful decisions in horror movies?

???

18. Is your black friend cool with being used as the reason you “can’t be racist”?

Yes, the old "some of my best friends are..." counterargument.

19. Can you please take Iggy Azalea back?

???

20. What is it like being able to talk shit to police officers and not worry about being shot?

I've never thought about that, though I agree that black people get it much worse from many cops than white people. Look at what Cliven Bundy and other white right-wing jerks had gotten away with. Being a honkie isn't as much protection if one is a left-wing one like some Occupy guy. The US sometimes seems like the Weimar Republic, where white right-wingers get off much easier in the courts than left-wingers and minorities. One of them was Adolf Hitler. When he was tried for a failed coup, the judges let him rant at length about how he wanted to make Germany a great nation again and how he was fighting against the traitors who had stabbed Germany in the back in WWI.

21. Why do y’all need an “extreme” or “ultimate” version of all the sports?

Beats me.

22. Why do y’all like “Turn Down for What” and the “Ignition” remix so much?

???

23. How come you can’t pronounce “black names” like Quvenzhané but can say Schwarzenegger, Galifianakis, and LaBeouf just fine?

I think that some US white people have a grudge against US black people and what terrible sinners they supposedly are. Thus, George Stephanopoulos gets away with his tongue-twister of a last name because he is a honkie.

24. Do you all really eat green bean casserole? And like it?

I've never eaten any in a LONG time, and I don't see a lot of it.

25. What do you have against seasonings and spices?

Me? I like them.

26. Why do you kiss your dogs in the mouth?

I'm too much of a cynophobe to do so.

27. Why do you wear shorts in the winter?

I don't, even in relatively warm climates.

28. Do you know how messed up using the term “nonwhite” to describe people of color is?

Because it uses white people as a reference? That is sometimes appropriate, just as "nonblack" and the like may be appropriate in some circumstances.

29. Do you know that “you’re not like other black people” is not a compliment?

Meaning praise for not fitting a horrible stereotype. This reminds me of when I had to write something out by hand, someone stated that my handwriting was good for a guy.

30. Why do y’all think you discovered “beauty trends” that we’ve been doing for years, like cornrows, Timberlands, and having a big ass?

No idea.

31. Are you aware that Friends was basically a rip-off of Living Single?

No idea.

32. If being a minority isn’t so bad, why are you so terrified of being one?

I think that it's the fear of being treated the way that one believes that other minorities have been treated. That "isn't so bad" bit is the belief that they have been getting off easily.

33. What’s the deal with cargo pants? Why do you need such an extreme number of pockets?

Dunno.

34. You don’t really believe that racism is over because we have a black president, do you?

Of course not. Simply look at the people who dislike him because he's black, even if they don't say so explicitly.

35. You’re going to leave a comment saying “If white people made a post like this about black people, it’d be racist,” aren’t you?

No. We honkies ought to recognize our embarrassments.

 

[Metaphor]

For those crackers who don't know who she is, Iggy Azalea is an Australian-born (White) hip hop artist who had a huge hit with 'Fancy' and has been Grammy nominated.

Presumably, the above comment is aimed at either Australians of any colour, or White people of any ethnicity. Since I tick both boxes, I'll respond. I assume the creator of the list represents the entire Black community, and is outraged and incensed that Iggy 'appropriated' hip hop culture which means she stole it from its rightful owners, like Azealia Banks.

Of course, the fact that Iggy stole nothing but in fact created something popular that millions of people wanted and paid for is entirely irrelevant because her White skin and her success leads to 'cultural smudging' (Azealia Banks' words).

Lorde was also subject to the same mindless and racist attacks when her multi million selling 'Royals' dared to criticise hip hop culture. What the world doesn't know is that Australia and New Zealand have united in an antipodean conspiracy to 'appropriate' American Black culture by exporting young White women and then drugging the water supply of 320 million Americans to trick them into buying their songs.

No, People of all colors don't like Iggy Azalea because she's a no talent hack.

People who love Eminem, Adele, Amy Winehouse, even the old schoolers like me who adore the Brothers Gibb, across lines of race, class, age, etc. all agree the Iggy has got to GO!

I did not claim I was a fan of Iggy; I was merely defending her from attacks based on the idea that she is 'appropriating' something.

Here's a freebie, though: Winehouse's and Adele's voices are so good, they could be Black.

 

[AthenaAwakened]

No, People of all colors don't like Iggy Azalea because she's a no talent hack.

People who love Eminem, Adele, Amy Winehouse, even the old schoolers like me who adore the Brothers Gibb, across lines of race, class, age, etc. all agree the Iggy has got to GO!

I did not claim I was a fan of Iggy; I was merely defending her from attacks based on the idea that she is 'appropriating' something.

Here's a freebie, though: Winehouse's and Adele's voices are so good, they could be Black.

Who here made such an attack?

- - - Updated - - -

Here is Iggy freestylin'

you tell me.

 

[Metaphor]

Who here made such an attack?

An item on the list was 'take Iggy back'. This was on a list of items directed at White people, as if White people own Iggy and are responsible for what all White people do.

The 'cultural appropriation' complaint I had read independently before you posted your list, so I associated the two.

The list is suppose to be facetious but the Iggy item really struck me. What kind of moral code makes Whites responsible to 'take back' Iggy Azalea? Do you approve the sickening idea that people of a certain skin colour are responsible for the actions of all people with similar skin colours?

If you believe that, a White person could put the exact same item on a list of questions for Black people. Why don't Black people 'take back' Iggy, since rap and hip hop originated in Black culture, and you're complaining about her rap/hip hop skills, or lack thereof?