35 Questions Black People Have For White People

[Nice Squirrel]

I looked her up. I want those five seconds back.

 

[Bronzeage]

I looked her up. I want those five seconds back.

I have some spare time today, so I'll send you some. No problem.

 

[fast]

4. Why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play white fictional characters?

The same reason they freak out over black Barbie dolls and Santa Claus pluffs, I guess. There's no problem with a black doll named Barbie (I'd imagine), but there is a problem (I would suppose) portraying Barbie (the one we all know as Barbie) as black. Being white is a part of her imbued identity. You can't hire a black person to play Daphne from Scooby Doo and not have ill-will form among some avid fans. It might not be wrong (in the "no physical harm" sense), but distasteful to say the least. It's like robbery of identity. I don't mind a white duck character, and I might even accept a white duck character named Daffy, but if it's features are identical in every other way as Daffy's (the one we know as Duffy), then nooooooooooo.

 

[lpetrich]

9. And speaking of Jesus, you know he wasn’t white, right?

If he existed, he would have been a Palestinian Jew, and people from that part of the world look rather honkie to me. Though not as pale as northern Europeans often are.

 

[Random Person]

Racism is ignorance.

 

[Rhea]

Knowing not all of these would be “directed” at me, but having the fun of answering them anyway…

1. Is clapping on beat really that hard?
Nope.
2. Why do y’all dance like that?
My hubby and I dropped in on a black dance in a hotel once. We were quite drunk, and the friendly young people at the front table invited us inside. But the young black people inside were not expecting a white couple, apparently AT ALL, so when we started dancing one guy stops dancing, turns to us, points and shouts, “What! The! Fuck!? What. The. Actual. FUCK. Is this!?” It’s possible that he was appalled by our dancing… my husband doesn’;t dance very well… it might have been because we were the only couple over 30. Or perhaps the only ones not wearing black. For whatever reason, apparently we did not appear to belong. Probably the dancing skillz. I think it’s because we grew up on different music.

3. Will you PLEASE stop trying to touch our hair without asking?
This is one thing I actually do not do and never have – as a platinum blonde child, people were always touching mine. Espcially when we went to mexico. I understood the fascination, yet still never understood the willingness to invade space. I can’t fathom people deciding to do this after the age of about 7, without a good relationship that would get permission.

4. Why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play white fictional characters?
I love it. It’s like having a whole new story. Like when you hear a book on tape and the characters have an accent that you never previously pictured and it is awesome having the story revised in your head.

5. And why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play fictional characters that are actually of color?
People do this one?

6. Why do you riot when your sports team loses?
It’s all the pent up bad clapping and dancing coming out in an explosion of suppressed emotion. If we danced better or clapped in time, we wouldn’t do this, I bet.

7. Why do you riot when your sports team wins?
Same. Because bad dancing.

8. Are y’all ever gonna stop wearing Jesus sandals?
Black people don’t wear these? Why not?

9. And speaking of Jesus, you know he wasn’t white, right?
He wasn’t even real, so, yah.

10. Southerners, do you really not get why the Confederate flag is offensive to us?
Oh, they get it. They get it all right.

11. Are you all really into pumpkin spice like that?
No. Blech. Unless it’s in an actual pie or bread.

12. Are you worried that reality shows like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Mob Wives cast white people in a stereotypical light?
Actually, yes. Socially unpleasant exaggerations/creations cause bad feeling. I hate those shows. Any of the shows that stereotype people. Except Big bang Theory, because that is a show about my father.

13. Why are y’all so obsessed with gluten?
We think it makes our bellies big.

14. Do you have family reunions?
Yes. For a full week, every other year since the late 1950s. They are pretty big now.

15. Why don’t you use washcloths?
I do. Since they are environmentally sound.

16. Why do you want to say the n-word soooooo badly?
Don’t. Hate the connotations. That word carries baggage too heavy for me to bear.

17. Why do you always make such awful decisions in horror movies?
I know, right? But, wait, the black characters don’t?

18. Is your black friend cool with being used as the reason you “can’t be racist”?
Definitely not. I don’t currently have a local black friend. But any of the friends and relatives I have who are black would not be cool with it. My mother comes dangerously close to actually saying that out loud to my cousins who are black. My gut wrenches every time she approaches that abyss and treads toward being condescending out loud. She truly thinks, stereotypically, that their existence in the family tree give her street cred. She feels special by it. Which is slightly positive but still very very awkward and condescending.

19. Can you please take Iggy Azalea back?
Who?

20. What is it like being able to talk shit to police officers and not worry about being shot?
Righteous.

21. Why do y’all need an “extreme” or “ultimate” version of all the sports?
Because bad dancing.

22. Why do y’all like “Turn Down for What” and the “Ignition” remix so much?
What?

23. How come you can’t pronounce “black names” like Quvenzhané but can say Schwarzenegger, Galifianakis, and LaBeouf just fine?
Laughed my ass off.

24. Do you all really eat green bean casserole? And like it?
No, and no.

25. What do you have against seasonings and spices?
Nothing – bring it!

26. Why do you kiss your dogs in the mouth?
Eeewwww! No! They lick their assholes with those mouths!

27. Why do you wear shorts in the winter?
I’m trying to think of a reason and can’t. It’s just, “why wouldn’t we?”

28. Do you know how messed up using the term “nonwhite” to describe people of color is?
Well, now that you say it… no. In what ways is that messed up?

29. Do you know that “you’re not like other black people” is not a compliment?
Yes. Definitively.

30. Why do y’all think you discovered “beauty trends” that we’ve been doing for years, like cornrows, Timberlands, and having a big ass?
On a serious note, for those who actually think this – because they never really noticed black people?

31. Are you aware that Friends was basically a rip-off of Living Single?
What and Who?

32. If being a minority isn’t so bad, why are you so terrified of being one?
It is bad, only because the majority makes it so.
Although, if we thought about the ways in which some of us are made into “minorities” you’d think we’d muster enough empathy to make being a minority actually not-bad. But we don’t do that. See: black church’s stance on gays, White women’s stance on black people, Rich white men’s stance on rich black men, etc.

33. What’s the deal with cargo pants? Why do you need such an extreme number of pockets?
To keep my beef jerky. Although… don’t you realize that cargo pants are just to put the pockets the same place they are when you all wear your pants sagging from your butt? Same pockets, different waistline.

34. You don’t really believe that racism is over because we have a black president, do you?
No. No, I don't. Long way still to go. But damn I was so happy and uplifted when he was elected. <3

35. You’re going to leave a comment saying “If white people made a post like this about black people, it’d be racist,” aren’t you?
Seriously now, if white people made a post like this about black people, it would be decidedly mean-spirited and un-funny and yes, racist. They wouldn’t ask about dancing and spices and shorts and birkenstocks. They’d ask nasty shit.

 

[Bronzeage]

What do black people think white people use in place of a washcloth. That's a new one to me.

Is this the control question, just to gauge the indignant factor?

 

[Ford]

What do black people think white people use in place of a washcloth. That's a new one to me.

Is this the control question, just to gauge the indignant factor?

I don't get this one either.

I mean, I'm as white as the driven Pollacks, but to this day we washcloths.

 

[Bronzeage]

What do black people think white people use in place of a washcloth. That's a new one to me.

Is this the control question, just to gauge the indignant factor?

I don't get this one either.

I mean, I'm as white as the driven Pollacks, but to this day we washcloths.

Didn't we invent the little towels you hang in the guest bathroom that no one can touch? Maybe that's how it got started.

 

[ApostateAbe]

1. Not in my opinion, but not everyone has rhythm, and that is no reason to hate.

2. Jealous?

3. Wasn't me!

4. I figure it is instinct for people to identify with people of their own race, and we would all rather identify with protagonists. I don't freak out about it, but I may be less likely to see the show.

5. Same reason as above.

6. People invest their identities in sports teams and have an us-vs-them mentality about it.

7. Hell if I know.

8. Never worn them.

9. Yeah, he was Palestinian.

10. They probably get it and don't care.

11. No.

12. Never watched those shows.

13. Caucasians are most likely to have celiac disease or gluten sensitivity.

14. Mother does, I don't.

15. Washcloths tend to stink rather quickly. Sponges have a smaller surface area so they don't stink as much and you can clean them more easily.

16. White niggers don't like being told words they can't say.

17. It morally justifies the infliction of horror on these characters, and you can't have black characters making bad decisions or that would be racist.

18. I don't know, I haven't asked him.

19. Who is he?

20. I don't know, I wouldn't be that stupid.

21. We are not as skilled as blacks at sports, so we like to pretend to be.

22. Doesn't everybody?

23. Never heard of Quvenzhané.

24. No, I don't know where you heard that.

25. You can go heavy on spices when the base food is unpalatable. If you can afford good base foods, then spices and seasonings tend to make them worse, not better.

26. It is the closest we can get to zoophilia without breaking the law.

27. We can tolerate the cold better than races more recently descended from the tropics.

28. No, seems reasonable. What's messed up about that? Nobody has time to say or listen to "blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Polynesians and Native Americans."

29. Yeah, but don't you know that the black race is generally fucked up?

30. Ever since Columbus, "discovery" applies only to white people.

31. Had no idea.

32. Got me there.

33. To hold all my money.

34. Got me there, too.

35. No, because I don't encourage the taboo against racism. It is a lot of racist points, and I don't care.

 

[Duke Leto]

American White Person Community violently divided on Washcloths, film at 11.

 

[AthenaAwakened]

What do black people think white people use in place of a washcloth. That's a new one to me.

Is this the control question, just to gauge the indignant factor?

What do black people think white people use in place of a washcloth. That's a new one to me.

Is this the control question, just to gauge the indignant factor?

I don't get this one either.

I mean, I'm as white as the driven Pollacks, but to this day we washcloths.

Tell you what.

Watch a soap commercial. The person in the commercial will most likely be white (used to always be white) and I defy you to find a wash cloth. Think about shower and bath scenes in movies. Same deal. Now you may have noticed the lack of a washcloth, but i bet you didn't register that was a white person. It was just a person.

 

[bigfield]

Watch a soap commercial. The person in the commercial will most likely be white (used to always be white) and I defy you to find a wash cloth. Think about shower and bath scenes in movies. Same deal. Now you may have noticed the lack of a washcloth, but i bet you didn't register that was a white person. It was just a person.

It must take a lot of effort to give a shit about this kind of thing.

 

[thebeave]

Honestly, I remember my mom using a washcloth to clean me during bath time as a little kid (like sticking it in my ear and twisting it...ouch!). But since I have been on my own in the bathtub/shower, I have never used a washcloth. That's about five decades. I don't even know what you're supposed to do with it. Rub soap on it, then rub your body with it? Why not just apply the soap bar directly on you (which is what I do now).

 

[Tigers!]

35 Questions Black People Have For White People

4. Why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play white fictional characters?

The same reason you freak out when Othello is played by a white character. If you don't freak out why such an asinine question?

5. And why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play fictional characters that are actually of colour?

I don't

8. Are y’all ever gonna stop wearing Jesus sandals?

Come again?

9. And speaking of Jesus, you know he wasn’t white, right?

I do and I don't care. Skin colour is not an issue. Character is an issue.

14. Do you have family reunions?

Of course. How else will I remember why I hate my Auntie Bob?

16. Why do you want to say the n-word soooooo badly?

No is not hard to say, 2 letters, one syllable

19. Can you please take Iggy Azalea back?

My wife has > 25 varieties of Azaleas in our garden. She doesn't have that one. Where can we get and what colour is it's flower?

20. What is it like being able to talk shit to police officers and not worry about being shot?

Aussie police are very easy going

23. How come you can’t pronounce “black names” like Quvenzhané but can say Schwarzenegger, Galifianakis, and LaBeouf just fine?

I still can't pronounce Cootamundra properly. When you yanks can pronounce 'kookaburra' correctly we will talk further.

27. Why do you wear shorts in the winter?

Long pants are more expensive.

32. If being a minority isn’t so bad, why are you so terrified of being one?

I am in a minority. I can remember when Richmond (Aust. Football League) won their last premiership.

33. What’s the deal with cargo pants? Why do you need such an extreme number of pockets?

Got to hide the guns somewhere and a budgie smugglers just don't work on me.

 

[thebeave]

Watch a soap commercial. The person in the commercial will most likely be white (used to always be white) and I defy you to find a wash cloth. Think about shower and bath scenes in movies. Same deal. Now you may have noticed the lack of a washcloth, but i bet you didn't register that was a white person. It was just a person.

It must take a lot of effort to give a shit about this kind of thing.

Black people like to make a big deal out of stupid shit. That would make my list of 35 Questions White People Have for Black People if us whites were allowed to make such a list and not be labeled racist. My cousin worked with a black woman who would get angry that all the Keebler elves (from the Keebler cookie company) were white....no black elves. Nevermind that the NBA is about 90% black. And she wondered why nobody would invite her to lunch, afterwork drinks, etc. I'm sure she assumed it was because of her race, not the fact that she was annoying as fuck.

 

[ZiprHead]

Honestly, I remember my mom using a washcloth to clean me during bath time as a little kid (like sticking it in my ear and twisting it...ouch!). But since I have been on my own in the bathtub/shower, I have never used a washcloth. That's about five decades. I don't even know what you're supposed to do with it. Rub soap on it, then rub your body with it? Why not just apply the soap bar directly on you (which is what I do now).

Me too.

 

[bigfield]

It must take a lot of effort to give a shit about this kind of thing.

Black people like to make a big deal out of stupid shit. That would make my list of 35 Questions White People Have for Black People if us whites were allowed to make such a list and not be labeled racist. My cousin worked with a black woman who would get angry that all the Keebler elves (from the Keebler cookie company) were white....no black elves. Nevermind that the NBA is about 90% black. And she wondered why nobody would invite her to lunch, afterwork drinks, etc.

At least the Keebler elves aren't gluten intolerant, so that's something.

 

[Derec]

35 Questions Black People Have For White People

I wonder why Athena is never accused of "hobby horsing" race even though she posts more threads on race than I do on gender. And she even gets a pass when a post is a list of racist stereotypes against whites.

2. Why do y’all dance like that?

I don't know. Why do you people dance like whatever the way black people are supposed to dance stereotypically?

3. Will you PLEASE stop trying to touch our hair without asking?

I don't.
Can I tough your hair though? (see, I'm asking)

4. Why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play white fictional characters?

There is no freakout, just annoyance that it only goes in one direction.

5. And why do you freak out when people of color are cast to play fictional characters that are actually of color?

While the racist author of this list might be able to find some people on Twitter who do that how does that apply to white people in general, except in mind of racists?

6. Why do you riot when your sports team loses?
7. Why do you riot when your sports team wins?

Why do you riot when a black thug gets himself killed by the police? Or even just roughed up a bit like Rodney King?

8. Are y’all ever gonna stop wearing Jesus sandals?

No, because he was a fellow honky.

9. And speaking of Jesus, you know he wasn’t white, right?

If he existed he most likely was. Definition of white (according to the Census Bureau) is 'a person having origins in any of the original peoples of Europe, the Middle East, or North Africa. It includes people who indicate their race as "White" or report entries such as Irish, German, Italian, Lebanese, Arab, Moroccan, or Caucasian.'

You do know that he wasn't a subsaharan African (i.e. black) right? Despite what many black nationalist/racist types seriously claim.

10. Southerners, do you really not get why the Confederate flag is offensive to us?

It happened 150 years ago. Don't you think it's time to chill out about it already?

11. Are you all really into pumpkin spice like that?

No. Are you all into watermelon like that?

12. Are you worried that reality shows like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Mob Wives cast white people in a stereotypical light?

Never seen any of it but I raise you "Real Housewives of Atlanta", "Love and Hip Hop in Atlanta" and "Sorority Sisters" (all of which I also only know by reputation).

13. Why are y’all so obsessed with gluten?

Because it has certain qualities (like elasticity) that give things like bread its texture.

14. Do you have family reunions?

Do you have to all be wearing matching t-shirts for it to count as family reunion?

15. Why don’t you use washcloths?

I don't even understand this one.

16. Why do you want to say the n-word soooooo badly?

Because it's another example of a racist double standard.
And also because perpetuating such double standard is going to hinder improvement of race relations, not aid it.

17. Why do you always make such awful decisions in horror movies?

Because it's politically incorrect to write black people making bad decisions.

18. Is your black friend cool with being used as the reason you “can’t be racist”?

Better than using your skin color as a reason you "can't be racist".

19. Can you please take Iggy Azalea back?

Who? Upon googling her: isn't that a question you should be asking Australians mate?

20. What is it like being able to talk shit to police officers and not worry about being shot?

Never talked shit to police officers. Neither have I fled from the police, scuffled with police, tried to take a cop's gun or taser, charged at the police, shot at the police, brandished a gun at the police, stole a gun etc.

21. Why do y’all need an “extreme” or “ultimate” version of all the sports?

You were saying?

22. Why do y’all like “Turn Down for What” and the “Ignition” remix so much?

I literally never heard of either.

23. How come you can’t pronounce “black names” like Quvenzhané but can say Schwarzenegger, Galifianakis, and LaBeouf just fine?

Familiarity, the latter being celebrities. And I have a suspicion the author invented Quvenzhane for the list. I double-dog dare her to name her kid that.
And Why do you people have the need to give your children crazy-ass names like JaMarcus or LaTrina?

24. Do you all really eat green bean casserole? And like it?

I don't. Do you all really eat overcooked collared greens?

25. What do you have against seasonings and spices?

Nothing. Is that even a stereotype?

26. Why do you kiss your dogs in the mouth?

Sure beats forcing them to fight.

27. Why do you wear shorts in the winter?

And black people don't?

28. Do you know how messed up using the term “nonwhite” to describe people of color is?

No. It's descriptive and accurate in the same way nonblack would be to refer to everyone who is not black. Duh!
"People of color" on the other hand is a ridiculous PC term as we have color too!

29. Do you know that “you’re not like other black people” is not a compliment?

Well it depends. If somebody is saying "You're not like other black people who can clap on beat" then it's clearly not.

30. Why do y’all think you discovered “beauty trends” that we’ve been doing for years, like cornrows, Timberlands, and having a big ass?

1. Cornrows are stupid
2. Timberlands were invented by black people? Says who?
3. Queen sang about "fat bottomed girls" years before Sir Mixalot said that he "liked big butts". And many years ago somebody in Austria made this:

And much more recently in Belgium:

31. Are you aware that Friends was basically a rip-off of Living Single?

Is it? The two shows were pretty much contemporaneous.
In any case, Friends really ripped off Seinfeld (at least many jokes).

32. If being a minority isn’t so bad, why are you so terrified of being one?

Because not all minorities are treated the same. Being an immigrant I am a minority too, but because I am from Europe and have a light hue I do not get affirmative action and other bennies.

33. What’s the deal with cargo pants? Why do you need such an extreme number of pockets?

Because we got stuff to carry. Where do you put stuff?

34. You don’t really believe that racism is over because we have a black president, do you?

No it's not, and from all sides, as this list shows. But things have gotten a lot better.

35. You’re going to leave a comment saying “If white people made a post like this about black people, it’d be racist,” aren’t you?

There is certainly a racist double standard, that's for sure.

36. Why do you not swim?

37. Why do y'all always tip so poorly?

 

[bigfield]

I wonder why Athena is never accused of "hobby horsing" race even though she posts more threads on race than I do on gender. And she even gets a pass when a post is a list of racist stereotypes against whites.

You're both unintentionally comical.