As Search For Sub Gone Missing, Writers At The Onion Struggle For Decency

[Jimmy Higgins]

Passenger: Should it be creaking and moaning like that?
Owner: No, we should contact the home office with the emergency phone.
Passenger: *Picks up phone*
Phone: Thanks for choosing OceanGate, your gateway to the abyss. All of our customer service representatives are unavailable. Your emergency is important to us, please hold for our next available representative.
*hits owner in head with phone*

 

[blastula]

Conveniently, OceanGate already has gate in its name.

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

Conveniently, OceanGate already has gate in its name.

Ocean(Gate)^2

 

[bilby]

Water(AtMillionsOfPSI)Gate

 

[ZiprHead]

Implosion

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

Humans! Always looking for new and novel ways to die.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Water(AtMillionsOfPSI)Gate

5510 psi. See this is what happens when metric people try to manage US units.

 

[hyzer]

Well, that Stockton Rush guy will be surely mist…..

 

[SLD]