@Metaphor
Gate-keeping would have been a big problem for me because I only like to dress unisex. I am not giving up pockets. Magic Pockets was the best video game ever made. You know why? Pockets. Pockets are the coolest things ever.
From the sound of it, somebody bullied you pretty grievously based on their views, but I am not that person.
I'm your pal, Sigma. You know, pint-sized dragon, fits on your shoulder, black as pitch, purrs a lot, highly ticklish. Wait, that's my roleplaying persona. Either way, I really prefer to get along with people. I'm 38 years old, and while I still have a little youth left in me, I am way past the point in my life where I was angry enough to pick fights with people just for the sake of venting. I am not going to fight you on this.
I have always said the word "gender," though, ever since I was a kid, because, in my 12 year old brain, "sex" referred to that thing you did when you were making the beast with two backs, and "gender" referred to whether you were a boy or a girl.
The new thinking about "gender" being separated from sex is a tricky subject for me. For me, those kinds of conversations always lead to some deconstructionist maniac accusing me of "scientism," and if I rely on scientists for my facts, then that makes me a "tool of the patriarchy" because, they say, science is controlled by men. If I have an axe to grind with anybody, then it's deconstructionists.
The idea of "gender" is not completely useless, as a metaphor, but it becomes nothing but trouble when someone takes it to the point of hypostatization. The white matter microstructures of a transgender person's brain are really what we are talking about, and "gender" is just a shorthand for the bottom-line of hundreds of pages of diffusion tensor imaging research that is really just boring to read. In spite of the peril of somebody possibly taking the metaphor to the point of hypostatization, it is easier to just say "gender."
I feel better if people around me pretend, for the sake of discussion, that I am a member of the female sex. I cannot just stop feeling this way. There is a neurobiological explanation as to why I feel this way.
Well, make up your mind. Do you want to be nice to me or not? I cannot control which you do. I don't own you.
Besides misgendering me, there are other things someone can say to hurt my feelings. Someone doubting my honesty and straightforwardness actually bothers me more. Maybe I am born that way, too. I am lucky enough that most people in my life are considerate toward me.
With warm regards,
Sigma