Children-clothing stereotypes: strawberries for her, a car for him

[lpetrich]

Strawberries for her, a car for him - Butterflies and Wheels

A blouse with pink flowers and frills and lettering and the words “Berry cute like Mummy” -- showing some strawberries

A sweatshirt with blue spots and collar and the words “Wheelie cool just like Daddy” -- showing a car

These DC Moms Design the PERFECT Dresses for Budding Feminists | Washingtonian

“We feel very strongly that feminine and girly things are not mutually exclusive of science and math and dinosaurs and pirates,” says Melsky. “Girls are given the message that you can wear girly things or you can wear a shirt from the boys’ section. They’re not told that you can do science and wear a pink shirt at the same time.”

Rebecca Melsky and Eva St. Clair's clothing company: Princess Awesome

 

[Rhea]

Love it. My two kids enjoyed non-traditional patterns and colors all the time. I never could understand the idea of saying, "you're not supposed to like that" to them.

 

[fast]

Strawberries for her, a car for him - Butterflies and Wheels

A blouse with pink flowers and frills and lettering and the words “Berry cute like Mummy” -- showing some strawberries

A sweatshirt with blue spots and collar and the words “Wheelie cool just like Daddy” -- showing a car

These DC Moms Design the PERFECT Dresses for Budding Feminists | Washingtonian

“We feel very strongly that feminine and girly things are not mutually exclusive of science and math and dinosaurs and pirates,” says Melsky. “Girls are given the message that you can wear girly things or you can wear a shirt from the boys’ section. They’re not told that you can do science and wear a pink shirt at the same time.”

Rebecca Melsky and Eva St. Clair's clothing company: Princess Awesome

A couple months ago, I tried for a very short while, to find a remote control car for a four year old girl. What I found instead were a bunch of remote controlled cars for little boys. She wound up with something, but what she wound up with wasn't a remote controlled car. I would have preferred getting one that was gender specific to girls, and I would not have preferred (but rather would have settled for) one that was gender neutral, but my only choices (beyond not getting one at all) were between gender specific to boys.

 

[Toni]

Strawberries for her, a car for him - Butterflies and Wheels

A blouse with pink flowers and frills and lettering and the words “Berry cute like Mummy” -- showing some strawberries

A sweatshirt with blue spots and collar and the words “Wheelie cool just like Daddy” -- showing a car

These DC Moms Design the PERFECT Dresses for Budding Feminists | Washingtonian

Rebecca Melsky and Eva St. Clair's clothing company: Princess Awesome

A couple months ago, I tried for a very short while, to find a remote control car for a four year old girl. What I found instead were a bunch of remote controlled cars for little boys. She wound up with something, but what she wound up with wasn't a remote controlled car. I would have preferred getting one that was gender specific to girls, and I would not have preferred (but rather would have settled for) one that was gender neutral, but my only choices (beyond not getting one at all) were between gender specific to boys.

Can I just say something?

There is no such thing as a remote controlled car for boys. Or a remote controlled car for girls.

How the hell is there a remote controlled car that is gender specific for boys? One is required to insert a penis in order for the car to go? The remote detects the presence of a Y chromosome which is necessary for the remote to work? I don't think so. I realize the packaging might show only boys but that doesn't mean it is only for boys.

There are just remote controlled cars. Some are designed more for adults than for children. Buy the kid (boy or girl) a remote controlled car. If the kid objects to the packaging, just say: it's just the packaging.


I am tempted to write about when I was a kid, how there were very few things which were 'for girls' or 'for boys.' Of course that was back in the olden days. When girls were more or less expected to grow up to be housewives and boys were expected to grow up to be men! All without the benefit of color coded clothing and playthings. Of course, we grew up to like science and math and to become doctors instead of nurses. Some of us became astronauts and police officers and pilots. A whole lot of us still learned to cook and to be mothers.

But that was a long, long time ago. So let's just talk about when today's millennials were kids--like my kids were: Pink had begun to dominate the toy aisle in stores but it it was possible to buy toys which were not pink or purple or glitter and didn't say: for girls only on them. Same thing for clothing, although there was an obnoxious pink and purple trend. Except for a couple of brief years when my daughter loved pink and purple, I never--let me say NEVER bought her any clothing that was pink or purple. At the height of her pink/purple phase (about age 4), she got a few things, mostly from her childless aunt and her grandmother who longed for her own daughter and only had sons. Yet, she had a full and complete wardrobe. Looking back at old photos, I find her in exactly one pink dress. One. One outfit with purple hippos on it. One. She loved Barbies. And legos and building blocks and modeling clay and games, and crayons and paper and so on. Her brothers liked GI Joes and legos and building blocks and modeling clay and games and crayons and paper and so on.

Rage against the machine.

Buy your kid what your kid wants if you can afford it and if you think your kid should have it. Don't pay attention to what aisle it comes from.

FFS, show some leadership. Make up your own mind so your daughter can see that people choose for themselves. There is no need to follow advertisers' narrow concepts of who should own what toy and how it should be used.

Let your daughter think for herself. Don't let her abdicate that responsibility to advertisers and manufacturers.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Getting a remote controlled car that is pink is pretty much the same as gender assignments.

A remote control car is a remote control car.

 

[bilby]

 

[Angry Floof]

Getting a remote controlled car that is pink is pretty much the same as gender assignments.

A remote control car is a remote control car.

I know a woman who bought a 9mm. She had it painted in camo style but in shades of pink. She calls it her Barbie Dream Nine.

 

[credoconsolans]

Getting a remote controlled car that is pink is pretty much the same as gender assignments.

A remote control car is a remote control car.

I know a woman who bought a 9mm. She had it painted in camo style but in shades of pink. She calls it her Barbie Dream Nine.

You can be girlie and like non-gender specific things at the same time.

 

[fast]

Technically, she's not my daughter but rather my best friends (a female) daughter who had no idea I even thought about buying her a remote controlled car. She is into anything related to Frozen. Almost every isle had something Frozen related, and had she been with me and expressed a want for such a gift I had in mind, I would have gladly purchased the gift even if it was geared towards boys. I just couldn't bring myself to buy a Darth Vador (or whatever the clearly gender geared themes were) knowing that no such expression was made. Simply, I thought she would enjoy a remote controlled vehicle, but I refrained, but that's not to say I would have done so had she expressed an interest.

Curiously enough, I have less problems buying boy toys for girls, but there's no way I would buy a girl toy for a boy. Could you imagine me presenting a girly gift for a boy in the Deep South? No matter how progressive or liberal minded people get around the certain parts of the world, we have not matured enough where a blazenly girly item can be presented to a boy in a conservative setting without substantial ridicule.

 

[Toni]

Technically, she's not my daughter but rather my best friends (a female) daughter who had no idea I even thought about buying her a remote controlled car. She is into anything related to Frozen. Almost every isle had something Frozen related, and had she been with me and expressed a want for such a gift I had in mind, I would have gladly purchased the gift even if it was geared towards boys. I just couldn't bring myself to buy a Darth Vador (or whatever the clearly gender geared themes were) knowing that no such expression was made. Simply, I thought she would enjoy a remote controlled vehicle, but I refrained, but that's not to say I would have done so had she expressed an interest.

Curiously enough, I have less problems buying boy toys for girls, but there's no way I would buy a girl toy for a boy. Could you imagine me presenting a girly gift for a boy in the Deep South? No matter how progressive or liberal minded people get around the certain parts of the world, we have not matured enough where a blazenly girly item can be presented to a boy in a conservative setting without substantial ridicule.

It's true that as a society, we generally hold boys to much more rigid gender specific standards. It is acceptable for a girl to wear clothing from the boys department or at least semi-acceptable for more rigid households. It's almost unheard of for it to be acceptable for a boy to wear clothing from the girls' department or to play with 'girls' toys.

 

[Lion IRC]

Can I just say something?

Why you ask permission to say something?

...There is no such thing as a remote controlled car for boys. Or a remote controlled car for girls.

Sure there is. Companies can artificially market gender-specific toys targeted at customers who perceive that male and female kids think differently.

...How the hell is there a remote controlled car that is gender specific for boys? One is required to insert a penis in order for the car to go? The remote detects the presence of a Y chromosome which is necessary for the remote to work? I don't think so.

Public toilets are separated by gender yet they dont require a chromosome check or insertion of genitalia.

...I realize the packaging might show only boys but that doesn't mean it is only for boys.

The marketers of gender-specific toys don't say their products are ONLY for boys. You can buy one and give it to a girl if you want. In fact, something alarming would be happening if companies were banned from selling great big blokey, macho trucks to butch girls or if parents were prevented from buying pretty dolls for their effeminate young son.
I would have thought that the highest expression of tolerance and gender equality would consist in allowing CIS gender toys to be offered to anyone.

...If the kid objects to the packaging, just say: it's just the packaging.

Yeah. You could do that. OR.... you could succumb to pester power and just buy the toy which is packaged in a way that psychologically conforms to the gender stereotype ideal which the kid and his CIS gender peers feel most comfortable with. Heterosexuality - yep. Millions/Billions of us "born that way" and we like it.

...Rage against the machine.

Meh...that just provokes the machine and makes it rage right back at you.

...There is no need to follow advertisers' narrow concepts of who should own what toy and how it should be used.

LOL.
The advertisers are trying to follow what we want.
Trust me. If we wanted nothing but Caitlyn Jenner dolls and KD Lang school lunch packs, they would be pumping them out faster than you could buy them.

... Let your daughter think for herself. Don't let her abdicate that responsibility to advertisers and manufacturers.

Agreed. And if zhe wants to buy zirself a Paris Hilton doll in a pink box with frilly embossing and glitter that's fine.

- - - Updated - - -

An excellent book!

 

[Toni]

Why you ask permission to say something?

Since I wasn't talking to you, why do you care?

...There is no such thing as a remote controlled car for boys. Or a remote controlled car for girls.

Sure there is. Companies can artificially market gender-specific toys targeted at customers who perceive that male and female kids think differently.

No. There is packaging designed to reinforce adult perceptions about children.

My sisters and I all enjoyed playing with remote controlled cars. We were not weird or abnormal. What is weird and abnormal is the current insistence that there are toys which are only for girls and toys which are only for boys.

...How the hell is there a remote controlled car that is gender specific for boys? One is required to insert a penis in order for the car to go? The remote detects the presence of a Y chromosome which is necessary for the remote to work? I don't think so.

Public toilets are separated by gender yet they dont require a chromosome check or insertion of genitalia.

Some are separated by gender; some are not. Please note the reason for the separation is specifically related to genitalia and gender specific anatomy. In fact, men's restrooms specifically cater to male needs by having urinals which are not present in women's restrooms. Women's restrooms generally have machines to dispense sanitary products and bins in which to dispose of such.

...I realize the packaging might show only boys but that doesn't mean it is only for boys.

The marketers of gender-specific toys don't say their products are ONLY for boys. You can buy one and give it to a girl if you want. In fact, something alarming would be happening if companies were banned from selling great big blokey, macho trucks to butch girls or if parents were prevented from buying pretty dolls for their effeminate young son.
I would have thought that the highest expression of tolerance and gender equality would consist in allowing CIS gender toys to be offered to anyone.

So, what I said, but more pretentious.

...If the kid objects to the packaging, just say: it's just the packaging.

Yeah. You could do that. OR.... you could succumb to pester power and just buy the toy which is packaged in a way that psychologically conforms to the gender stereotype ideal which the kid and his CIS gender peers feel most comfortable with. Heterosexuality - yep. Millions/Billions of us "born that way" and we like it.

Good for you? Sorry you don't seem very happy about it.

...Rage against the machine.

Meh...that just provokes the machine and makes it rage right back at you.

Beginning to understand why you seem so unhappy. Life gets much better when you accept who you are and not who someone else thinks you are.

...There is no need to follow advertisers' narrow concepts of who should own what toy and how it should be used.

LOL.
The advertisers are trying to follow what we want.
Trust me. If we wanted nothing but Caitlyn Jenner dolls and KD Lang school lunch packs, they would be pumping them out faster than you could buy them

.

Wow.

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

Around these parts, Sponge Bob Squarepants seems popular, as is Minnie Mouse for girls.

A grocery store I used to go to had lots of ~24 year old Vietnamese women who favored Hello Kitty gear.

 

[Keith&Co.]

LOL.
The advertisers are trying to follow what we want.
Trust me. If we wanted nothing but Caitlyn Jenner dolls and KD Lang school lunch packs, they would be pumping them out faster than you could buy them.

But the problem is, when you say what 'we' want, the marketers are aiming at satisfying the grownups as much as at the kids. Because the grownups have the money.

So you can't really look at what's for sale or what's being bought to figure out what kids would rather play with. It's just as likely it's a measurement of what kids are being told to play with.

 

[Juma]

Things confirm identity. Some girls wants girly stuff because that makes them feel that they are normal girls. And vice versa for boys. The strongest urge is to belong.

 

[Toni]

Things confirm identity. Some girls wants girly stuff because that makes them feel that they are normal girls. And vice versa for boys. The strongest urge is to belong.

I would say that some girls want 'girly' stuff because society--or at least mommy and daddy and the kids at school-- tell them that's what's appropriate. I don't think it's intrinsic at all. In fact, I think it's pretty often lazy parenting: just pick up something in the 'girls' aisle or the 'boys' aisle, forget individuality or imagination or personal taste.

I say this because 30 years ago and further back, it was NOT the case that most toys came marked and marketed as girls toys or boys toys. Most girls' clothing was not pink or purple and covered with kittens and rainbows. I grew up with ZERO girls wanting to dress all in pink or in pink, period. I can think of exactly one girl who had pink in her high school wardrobe and that was one sweater. In elementary school? I pulled out a couple of my old class photos and no one--ot one single kid--wore pink. Or camo. Or monster trucks. Or monsters. Somehow, we grew up anyway.

 

[Juma]

Things confirm identity. Some girls wants girly stuff because that makes them feel that they are normal girls. And vice versa for boys. The strongest urge is to belong.

I would say that some girls want 'girly' stuff because society--or at least mommy and daddy and the kids at school-- tell them that's what's appropriate. I don't think it's intrinsic at all. In fact, I think it's pretty often lazy parenting: just pick up something in the 'girls' aisle or the 'boys' aisle, forget individuality or imagination or personal taste.

I say this because 30 years ago and further back, it was NOT the case that most toys came marked and marketed as girls toys or boys toys. Most girls' clothing was not pink or purple and covered with kittens and rainbows. I grew up with ZERO girls wanting to dress all in pink or in pink, period. I can think of exactly one girl who had pink in her high school wardrobe and that was one sweater. In elementary school? I pulled out a couple of my old class photos and no one--ot one single kid--wore pink. Or camo. Or monster trucks. Or monsters. Somehow, we grew up anyway.

Didnt mean that it is intrinsically girly or boyish. It is very much defined by current fads. Over 100 years ago red was boys colors and blue for girls.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

The advertisers are trying to follow what we want.

Advertisers are trying to convince people that you want the product they are shilling.

 

[ronburgundy]

I would say that some girls want 'girly' stuff because society--or at least mommy and daddy and the kids at school-- tell them that's what's appropriate. I don't think it's intrinsic at all. In fact, I think it's pretty often lazy parenting: just pick up something in the 'girls' aisle or the 'boys' aisle, forget individuality or imagination or personal taste.

I say this because 30 years ago and further back, it was NOT the case that most toys came marked and marketed as girls toys or boys toys. Most girls' clothing was not pink or purple and covered with kittens and rainbows. I grew up with ZERO girls wanting to dress all in pink or in pink, period. I can think of exactly one girl who had pink in her high school wardrobe and that was one sweater. In elementary school? I pulled out a couple of my old class photos and no one--ot one single kid--wore pink. Or camo. Or monster trucks. Or monsters. Somehow, we grew up anyway.

Didnt mean that it is intrinsically girly or boyish. It is very much defined by current fads. Over 100 years ago red was boys colors and blue for girls.

I interpreted you as just saying that wanting to be "normal" is rather natural. What is "normal" is culturally defined, but the reality is that most kids will pick up on it very young no matter how open and non-gender pushing the parents are. IOW, fast is right that odds are his friends girl would have seen typical remote control cars as a "boy toy" and not liked it, and would be more likely to play with and enjoy it if it had "girly" qualities.

 

[Angry Floof]

Didnt mean that it is intrinsically girly or boyish. It is very much defined by current fads. Over 100 years ago red was boys colors and blue for girls.

I interpreted you as just saying that wanting to be "normal" is rather natural. What is "normal" is culturally defined, but the reality is that most kids will pick up on it very young no matter how open and non-gender pushing the parents are. IOW, fast is right that odds are his friends girl would have seen typical remote control cars as a "boy toy" and not liked it, and would be more likely to play with and enjoy it if it had "girly" qualities.

Or seen it as a boy's toy and liked it anyway, depending on how strong the conditioning, like when shame is applied to make girls like enculturated "girl" things and boys like only "boy" things. The depth or strength of conditioning differ among families and places, etc.

Not that you didn't know this or anything, just thought it useful to note.