Funny Facebook Status

[gmbteach]

Okay, I will admit it, I got done in on one of those 'you liked my status so now you gotta post...' things.

I normally apologise to the poster and not do it, but for some things I will, such as Autism Awareness, Women's Cancer etc.

Unfortunately, the choices I was given were lousy. I mean, who is really going to believe I accepted an online marriage proposal.

Anyway, it got a couple of us to thinking that we need some really funny Facebook statuses for situations like this and who better to ask than the people here!

So, fire away. Let's see what fun things we come up with!

 

[Angry Floof]

Great thread! I'm assuming the idea is to post something that people are more likely to respond to, so short and ridiculous should do.

How about:

Big thanks to all who donated to my UFO project! HUGS!

My dream is finally a reality. I'm joining a mariachi band!

I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of gravy mix I found in the parking lot. (quoting Homer Simpson)

BRB, hacking Russia.

Can anyone loan me a wormhole? It's just for like a week, I swear.

Is leftover meat supposed to glow?

 

[rousseau]

I wish I could be helpful, but I'm terrible at Facebook. All I really do on there is offend and alienate myself from people.

 

[RavenSky]

Great thread! I'm assuming the idea is to post something that people are more likely to respond to, so short and ridiculous should do.

How about:

Big thanks to all who donated to my UFO project! HUGS!

My dream is finally a reality. I'm joining a mariachi band!

I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of gravy mix I found in the parking lot. (quoting Homer Simpson)

BRB, hacking Russia.

Can anyone loan me a wormhole? It's just for like a week, I swear.

Is leftover meat supposed to glow?

These are good.

I got sucked into one of those once. I chose "I just bought a monkey"

Everyone believed me.

After cats, dogs, hamsters, chickens, ferrets, and a pot belly pig - a monkey didn't sound all that strange

 

[Keith&Co.]

I'm not on Facebook, but this sounds suspiciously like an effort to invent a new term for masturbating...

• Waxing the ceiling
• Putting the bird feeder under surveillance
• Playing my 78's at 33 and a third
• Alphabetizing my mortgages
• Voting for the next Pope
• Giving the gerbil a Rorschach test
• Determine the half-life of my attention span
• Factor my social security number
• Read tea leaves and correct the typos
• Critiquing Sapphic poetry for phallic imagery
• Voting for Mondale
• challenged my shadow to a duel
• conjugated my apathy
• Turned my champion cockroach out to stud
• Taught my pet rock to sit and stay
• Polished grandma's tombstone
• I calculated the half-life of my attention sp-Oooh. Shiny!
• Sterilized the bong
• vitiated the nurse.
• Low, low, low impact aerobics

 

[Angry Floof]

I'm not on Facebook, but this sounds suspiciously like an effort to invent a new term for masturbating...

• Waxing the ceiling
• Putting the bird feeder under surveillance
• Playing my 78's at 33 and a third
• Alphabetizing my mortgages
• Voting for the next Pope
• Giving the gerbil a Rorschach test
• Determine the half-life of my attention span
• Factor my social security number
• Read tea leaves and correct the typos
• Critiquing Sapphic poetry for phallic imagery
• Voting for Mondale
• challenged my shadow to a duel
• conjugated my apathy
• Turned my champion cockroach out to stud
• Taught my pet rock to sit and stay
• Polished grandma's tombstone
• I calculated the half-life of my attention sp-Oooh. Shiny!
• Sterilized the bong
• vitiated the nurse.
• Low, low, low impact aerobics

• releasing the hounds
• standing up for democracy
• fighting crime

 

[Keith&Co.]

• Wondering what dastardly doom threatens fair Gotham tonight.... While I'm patrolling Idaho Falls.
  
• Threatening fair Gotham.
  
• Licking my self-adhesive stamps just to fight the power.
  
• Advancing king's pawn.
  
• Advancing king's bishop's pawn.
  
• Advancing king's bishop's pawn's girlfriend.
  
• Pulling the rubber mask off the monster... To find another Monster.