Nothing you just said didn't serve God. My ego is not as strong and you may not understand my actual point. You're doing well and I think you're strong enough to try something that some may find odd. You should close your eyes. Humor me and drop the bias momentarily... this is an "experiment". Remember the instructions here. Once your eyes are closed, wait until the residual light of your monitor is gone. The rectangle burn will fade after a few minutes. Once it is gone, take the deepest breath possible and murmur (if only in your head) the words "I am ready". Be sure to cover your eyes for complete darkness. Watch for ten minutes and imagine you are traveling through what is currently known as "space". The red and blue should start to form objects. After ten minutes or so, say the words "I admit that I'm not worthy", and without saying it in your mind, picture what forgiveness would look like if it had a physical form. This is going to be hard to remember, but you're a sharp cat and I think you can remember the steps. Forget object and subjectivity and tune out the sounds around you until you hear a white (hopefully pink) noise. Once you see what you have witnessed, open your eyes and ponder with the least amount of that beautiful ego of yours what it "said" to you visually. This is much easier to do face to face, but you're worthy of trying it in text format. You are worthy, Keith. You know that, right? You have great value. You are a good person with much to give.
Don't skip any steps and remember to say "thank you" before opening your eyes. Remember to clear your mind and do not laugh or speak to anyone while doing this fun exercise. I suggest isolating as well as possible but hey, we're all busy with the hum and sometimes we have to adapt.
Experimentation is fun. Try this and if I sense that you have, it will get you a rep point. Not necessarily with me, but I'll throw you one just for fun.
GO...
