Iranian Threat Worse Than Known - Their Boats Can Fly!

[Jimmy Higgins]

I have instructed the United States Navy to shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats if they harass our ships at sea.

I don't know how this got past us, but our Navy is definitely at a disadvantage if Iranian gunboats need to be shot down because they can fly.

 

[ZiprHead]

Dear president Bonespurs...

 

[Loren Pechtel]

Hydrofoil.

Besides, light boats would probably be attacked with a Standard missile--the same thing they would fire at an airplane. Much faster than a Harpoon and a lot cheaper per round.

 

[Elixir]

Hydrofoil.

Besides, light boats would probably be attacked with a Standard missile--the same thing they would fire at an airplane. Much faster than a Harpoon and a lot cheaper per round.

Why not use the same 8-pounders we used to take the airports in 1776?

 

[Patooka]

I have instructed the United States Navy to shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats if they harass our ships at sea.

I don't know how this got past us, but our Navy is definitely at a disadvantage if Iranian gunboats need to be shot down because they can fly.

I didn't realise prior to this it was totally okay to sail up/transform and fly alongside a US warship. Is that a thing? I would have thought the US navy instituted some guidelines after the USS Cole. Fuck, if I knew this in my 20's when I was part owner of a 24 footer and Talisman Sabre was happening I would of had a lot of fun.

 

[funinspace]

Hydrofoil.

Does Iran hanger those with their space craft?

Besides, light boats would probably be attacked with a Standard missile--the same thing they would fire at an airplane. Much faster than a Harpoon and a lot cheaper per round.

By a capitalized "Standard" missile, I can only assume you mean the RIM-66/SM1/2 class of missiles. Which would be wrong and still fucking expensive. These larger missiles all have substantial minimum engagement ranges. It's classified ASAIK, but I'd bet it is well over a 1/2 mile for most all of them. And at that range the US would be the aggressor. At most they would use one of the self-defense systems like CWIS or RAM, but still the target could be too close. They would probably use the AGR-20A Advanced Precision Kill Weapon System (APKWS) via helocopters...

 

[krypton iodine sulfur]

I have instructed the United States Navy to shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats if they harass our ships at sea.

I don't know how this got past us, but our Navy is definitely at a disadvantage if Iranian gunboats need to be shot down because they can fly.

Maybe he means 'shoot down' as getting rejected for a date.
"Admiral, the Iranian gun boats are getting really flirty. Some of them are actually really quite sweet. They want to take us to the movies this weekend. Can we?"
"Sorry, but I'm afraid you're going to have to shoot them down. Commander-in-chief said so."
Seems kinda mean to destroy them after they just got rejected though.

Or perhaps they will shoot them down in the same sense a person can be gunned down in the street. I'm not quite sure what that looks like in practice when we're talking about the Navy."

Or perhaps he was thinking about how the boats would sink down to the bottom of the ocean.

Or maybe he actually meant 'chute' like in Chutes and Ladders.

 

[TV and credit cards]

Hydrofoil.

Does Iran hanger those with their space craft?

Besides, light boats would probably be attacked with a Standard missile--the same thing they would fire at an airplane. Much faster than a Harpoon and a lot cheaper per round.

By a capitalized "Standard" missile, I can only assume you mean the RIM-66/SM1/2 class of missiles. Which would be wrong and still fucking expensive. These larger missiles all have substantial minimum engagement ranges. It's classified ASAIK, but I'd bet it is well over a 1/2 mile for most all of them. And at that range the US would be the aggressor. At most they would use one of the self-defense systems like CWIS or RAM, but still the target could be too close. They would probably use the AGR-20A Advanced Precision Kill Weapon System (APKWS) via helocopters...

CIWS in Surface Mode using FLIR as far as I know is still the primary deterrence for Iranian gunboats. RAM is Surface to Air (RIM-116) missiles.

 

[funinspace]

Does Iran hanger those with their space craft?


By a capitalized "Standard" missile, I can only assume you mean the RIM-66/SM1/2 class of missiles. Which would be wrong and still fucking expensive. These larger missiles all have substantial minimum engagement ranges. It's classified ASAIK, but I'd bet it is well over a 1/2 mile for most all of them. And at that range the US would be the aggressor. At most they would use one of the self-defense systems like CWIS or RAM, but still the target could be too close. They would probably use the AGR-20A Advanced Precision Kill Weapon System (APKWS) via helocopters...

CIWS in Surface Mode using FLIR as far as I know is still the primary deterrence for Iranian gunboats. RAM is Surface to Air (RIM-116) missiles.

Both RIM-116 and NSSMS have surface modes.

https://www.navy.mil/navydata/fact_display.asp?cid=2200&tid=800&ct=2

The RIM-116 Rolling Airframe Missile (RAM) is a lightweight, quick-reaction, fire-and-forget missile designed to destroy anti-ship cruise missiles and asymmetric air and surface threats

But yeah cWIS is probably the top choice.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

Hydrofoil.

Does Iran hanger those with their space craft?

What's so strange about a hydrofoil?

Besides, light boats would probably be attacked with a Standard missile--the same thing they would fire at an airplane. Much faster than a Harpoon and a lot cheaper per round.

By a capitalized "Standard" missile, I can only assume you mean the RIM-66/SM1/2 class of missiles.

Yeah, that's what I meant--there are multiple variants in service, I used the term that covers them all.

Which would be wrong and still fucking expensive. These larger missiles all have substantial minimum engagement ranges. It's classified ASAIK, but I'd bet it is well over a 1/2 mile for most all of them. And at that range the US would be the aggressor. At most they would use one of the self-defense systems like CWIS or RAM, but still the target could be too close. They would probably use the AGR-20A Advanced Precision Kill Weapon System (APKWS) via helocopters...

Ok, you're thinking of even smaller stuff than I was picturing. A helicopter-fired missile needs a helicopter to fire it--unless you have one already in the air that's way too slow.

 

[ZiprHead]

Do they look like this?

 

[funinspace]

What's so strange about a hydrofoil?

You do seem to like to dwell on the inane...per chance you have information that the Iranian navy has any?

Besides, light boats would probably be attacked with a Standard missile--the same thing they would fire at an airplane. Much faster than a Harpoon and a lot cheaper per round.

By a capitalized "Standard" missile, I can only assume you mean the RIM-66/SM1/2 class of missiles.

Yeah, that's what I meant--there are multiple variants in service, I used the term that covers them all.

Which would be wrong and still fucking expensive. These larger missiles all have substantial minimum engagement ranges. It's classified ASAIK, but I'd bet it is well over a 1/2 mile for most all of them. And at that range the US would be the aggressor. At most they would use one of the self-defense systems like CWIS or RAM, but still the target could be too close. They would probably use the AGR-20A Advanced Precision Kill Weapon System (APKWS) via helocopters...

Ok, you're thinking of even smaller stuff than I was picturing. A helicopter-fired missile needs a helicopter to fire it--unless you have one already in the air that's way too slow.

WTF? No, I wasn't thinking 'smaller stuff', I was thinking 'functional stuff', you know like weapons that would actually get the job done. The naval ship would also have to have SM1/2 missiles to shoot, even if they decided to blow them up a mile away. Another navy ship miles away, absolutely would not shoot a SM1/2 at these speed boats as they swarmed a US navy ship as they would be about just as likely to hit the US Navy ship.

Anyway, the navy ships in the incident in question, didn't have SM1/2 missiles. But the USS Lewis B. Puller was training with these bad boys:



A few other minor points: The ships in the event both have multiple .50 caliber machine gun stations, as do many navy ships. Others also carry the 25 mm M242 Bushmaster. Also, in these particular waters, the US keeps a very watchful eye. I would expect the Navy calls up air support pretty much every time they see Iranian vessels approaching.

 

[ideologyhunter]

Captain: Gunner's mate to bridge, ASAP!!!
Gunner's Mate: Skipper?
Captain: That flying boat just missed us. Why didn't you fucknuts shoot her down?
Gunner's Mate: It's Little Dutch.
Captain: What? Who?
Gunner's Mate: It's Little -- it's Seaman Recruit Trump. The men call him Little Dutch. He was supposed to fire on any incoming. He left his post.
Captain: Left his post?!
Gunner's Mate: I spotted him waddling back from the head. Said he had shit his pants. Something about his father sending him a box of eclairs, and he ate all of them at his post.
Captain: Has this happened before?
Gunner's Mate: Affirmative, sir. He's a real Bravo Foxtrot.
Captain: Hasn't the rest of the crew complained?
Gunner's Mate: Well, you know we're undermanned, sir. And he paid some of them off with eclairs.
Captain: Now, you send 'Little Dutch' to the bridge, ASAP, mister!
Gunner's Mate: You may want to wait a few minutes, sir. He really did shit his pants.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

Maybe Trumpo doesn't know that boats don't fly.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Maybe Trumpo doesn't know that boats don't fly.

He owned a yacht. Someone had to have explained why he couldn't just board from his balcony downtown....

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

Wikipedia - Phalanx

The Block 1B PSuM (Phalanx Surface Mode, 1999) adds a forward-looking infrared (FLIR) sensor to make the weapon effective against surface targets.^[11] This addition was developed to provide ship defense against small vessel threats and other "floaters" in littoral waters and to improve the weapon's performance against slower low-flying aircraft.

Should puree an Iranian speed boat quite nicely if needed.

 

[bilby]

Wikipedia - Phalanx

The Block 1B PSuM (Phalanx Surface Mode, 1999) adds a forward-looking infrared (FLIR) sensor to make the weapon effective against surface targets.^[11] This addition was developed to provide ship defense against small vessel threats and other "floaters" in littoral waters and to improve the weapon's performance against slower low-flying aircraft.

Should puree an Iranian speed boat quite nicely if needed.

Littorally.

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2020/04/15/iran-vessels-us-navy-warships-arabian-sea-eg-orig.cnn

Iranian speed boats harassing US Navy. Easy targets. These are not sophisticated pieces of military hardware.

 

[TV and credit cards]

Wikipedia - Phalanx

The Block 1B PSuM (Phalanx Surface Mode, 1999) adds a forward-looking infrared (FLIR) sensor to make the weapon effective against surface targets.^[11] This addition was developed to provide ship defense against small vessel threats and other "floaters" in littoral waters and to improve the weapon's performance against slower low-flying aircraft.

Should puree an Iranian speed boat quite nicely if needed.

With a firing rate of 4500 rounds per minute. You bet your sweet bippy.
F-ing thing sounds like a zipper. A really big zipper.

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

Videos of the Iranian speed boats in question show these are not sophisticated military boats, not like used by say, Germany's S-boats in WW2. Not like US PT boats. These are not much different than Bubba's salt water sports fishing boat. But with a 20 caliber automatic cannon. Potentially dangerous only if they loaded up say, 300 kgs of high explosives and made a suicide run. If a US destroyer decided they had to blow one out of the water, it would not be hard or demand highly expensive high tech weaponry. These Iranians are idiots.