Winner: Elixir
"I guess you're wondering why I gathered you all here...."
"I guess you're wondering why I gathered you all here...."
Calling it for the above entry, despite being the least funny of all the fine entries. Reason? Because the moment I saw it, the phone rang and it was an old friend calling from Standing Rock (yes there is intermittent cell service there) trying to get me a list of medical supplies needed...
Take it away, gmbteach!