Let's check the predictions.
- Every outcome will be an upset! (Tampa Bay lost to Pittsburgh, NYJ over Green Bay... you know it! CORRECT!)
- Desperate to play Deshaun Watson, Cleveland Brown organization shaves his head, has him get plastic surgery and puts him on field as Deshawn Wadson. NFL is suspicious, but too busy negotiating a trillion dollar deal for Sunday Ticket with Apple and Amazon to really care enough to do something. Wadson leads Browns to epic 42-13 lead into fourth quarter that Browns squander and lose 34-35 with a last second safety, via a botched knee down snap from mid-field. I know what you are thinking... how can that all happen... it isn't possible! But you heard it here first. So anyone else who predicts that will have to have copied me. (Okay... this might break the streak)
- Steelers beat Bucs. A desperate Tom Brady resorts to fake tackling himself to draw a roughing the passer call... which works, but the kicker missed the last second field to lose by 20 instead of 17. (Tribusky finishes the ole switcheroo, and Steelers beat the Bucs... CORRECT!)
- Cowboys (4-1) and Eagles (5-0) collapse universal wave function due to their records making no sense, and the entire universe ceases to exist. (I'm in the middle of an email conversation with PBS Space Time YouTube team... I'll get back to you.)
This week was a week of the weekiest weeks in a week. It had everything.
Upset city in the world of the parity saturated NFL. The Jets beat the Packers, Steelers held off the Buc.
Disappointment city... the shitty coaching in Cleveland continues to hold back a team that is underperforming. Even when Deshaun Watson comes back, he can't make up for shitty coaching. They lost handily to a second week starting first year rookie.
Eagles beat a team that proved turning over the ball three times in 10 plays (including going for it on fourth down... at their own 34 yard line... in the 2nd quarter) is detrimental to winning football games.
Let's look at the playoff picture. If the playoffs were to be played today, super computers would be crashing left and right trying to figure out the tie breakers.
What does the rest of the season look like? Well, firstly, lots of commercials. Too many commercials. Tampa is in an interesting place, with their third year starter not able to keep the team above .500 to this point. Green Bay has likewise been unimpressive, while the NFC East has three teams with better than 2-4 records! The AFC has two teams atop and a mob of teams fighting for the remaining 4, 5, 37 (?) playoffs spots. New England might have a QB controversy. Rookie Zappe has won the two games he started, and barely lost to the Packers in OT after coming off the bench. Of course, those wins came against Detroit and Cleveland, and there is a wise old Buddhist saying "Don't overestimate the significance of beating the Lions and/or Browns." Either way, Mac Jones has got to be sweating uneasily at the moment. Good news for Zappe, the Pats play no one of consequence for at least a couple weeks, so he can at least pad his stats. Speaking of fetid failures, the Browns might have made a good choice in trading Mayfield. Baker Mayfield might lead the Panthers in passing yard, the team is 1-5. The AFC North is wide open. Each team at 3-3 or 2-4. Wildcard spots are going to be hard to come by. There are other divisions, but I just don't care about them. Predictions for Week 7. Okay, I've missed one, and the question whether we are now in a superposition of existing and not existing in light for the Eagles and Cowboys records is to be determined later, so I need to be super on this week. So nothing crazy insane, like plastic surgery for Deshawn.
- Browns and Ravens fans throw themselves into the respective bodies of water they border after both of their teams drive them to madness in worst game ever played in the NFL
- Tampa over Carolina. Final score, spread, over/under, everything but punts.
- Jets prove they are the real deal and go 4-2* for the season (* wins over Browns don't count).
- Colts improve record to 4-3-2-1... somehow.
- Miami fans don VR helmets and watch a specially prepared version of Steelers game against Dolphins with Tua starting as QB and winning. Helps them feel better as Dolphins lose at home to Steelers.
- 4 former black coaches get ready to be inundated with phone calls as teams pretend to be interested in hiring them as replacements for their shortly to be fired head coaches.