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Presidential Address Tonight

Went to bed before the turd’s speech but woke up in the middle of the night owing to periodic insomnia and a scattered work schedule, and checked the news. Every news outlet should use this headline: Evil, Ignorant Oaf Blathers Stupid Bullshit.
 
Drink if he mentions Rob Reiner because he can't help himself.

I'm okay making this thread into a drinking game.

I'd say drink whenever he uses a superlative word: best, *-est, worst, etc.


I hope you all got drunk last night.

Transcript:
Good evening America. 11 months ago I inherited a mess, and I'm fixing it. When I took office, inflation was the worst in 48 years, and some would say in the history of our country, which caused prices to be higher than ever before, making life unaffordable for millions and millions of Americans. This happened during a Democrat administration, and it's when we first began hearing the word affordability. Our border was open and because of this our country was being invaded by an army of 25 million people, many who came from prisons and jails, mental institutions, and insane asylums. They were drug dealers, gang members, and even 11,888 murderers, more than 50% of whom killed more than one person. This is what the Biden administration allowed to happen to our country. And it can never be allowed to happen again. We had men playing in women's sports, transgender for everybody, crime at record levels with law enforcement and words such as that just absolutely forbidden. We had the worst trade deals ever made and our country was laughed at from all over the world, but they're not laughing anymore. Over the past 11 months, we have brought more positive change to Washington than any administration in American history. There's never been anything like it, and I think most would agree. I was elected in a landslide winning the popular vote and all seven swing states and everything else with a mandate to take on a sick and corrupt system that really just took the wealth from people and crushed the dreams of the American people. For the last 4 years, the United States was ruled by politicians who fought only for insiders, illegal aliens, career criminals, corporate lobbyists, prisoners, terrorists, and above all, foreign nations which took advantage of us at level. Never seen before, they flooded your cities and towns with illegal aliens. They decimated your hard earned savings. They indoctrinated your children with hate for America. Released really, I mean, they just released a level of violent felons that we had never seen to prey on innocent. They caused war. They caused mayhem. They caused a horrible situation all over the globe, but now. You have a president who fights for the law abiding, hardworking people of our country, the ones who make this nation run, who make this nation work, and after just one year we have achieved more than anyone could have imagined. Starting on day one, I took immediate action to stop the invasion of our southern border. For the past 7 months, 0 illegal aliens have been allowed into our country, a feat which everyone said was absolutely impossible. Do you remember when Joe Biden said that he needed Congress to pass legislation to help close the border? He was always blaming Congress and everyone else. As it turned out, we didn't need legislation. We just needed a new president. We inherited the worst border anywhere in the world, and we quickly turned it into the strongest border in the history of our country. In other words, in a few short months, we went from worst to best. We're deporting criminals, restoring safety to our most dangerous cities. Just take a look at Washington DC. It's at levels of safety that we've never seen before, and they decimated the bloodthirsty foreign drug cartels. We did that all by ourselves with our people, and we're so proud of it because they were poisoning and destroying our population. Drugs brought in by ocean and by sea are now down 94%. We have broken the grip of sinister woke radicals in our schools, and control over those schools is back now in the hands of our great and loving states where education belongs. After rebuilding the United States military in my first term. And with the addition we are adding right now, we have the most powerful military anywhere in the world, and it's not even close. I've restored American strength, settled 8 wars in 10 months, destroyed the Iran nuclear threat, and ended the war in Gaza, bringing for the first time in 3000 years peace to the Middle East and secured the release of the hostages, both living and dead. Here at home we're bringing our economy back from the brink of ruin. The last administration and their allies in Congress looted our treasury for trillions of dollars, driving up prices and everything at levels never seen before. I am bringing those high prices down and bringing them down very fast. Let's look at the facts. Under the Biden administration, car prices rose 22%, and in many states 30% or more. Gasoline rose 30 to 50%. Hotel rates rose 37%. Airfares rose 31%. Now under our leadership, they're all coming down and coming down fast. Democrat politicians also sent the cost of groceries soaring, but we are solving that too. The price of a Thanksgiving turkey was down 33% compared to the Biden last year. The price of eggs is down 82% since March and everything else is falling rapidly. And it's not done yet, but boy are we making progress. Nobody can believe what's going on. Here are just some of the efforts that we have underway. You will see in your wallets and bank accounts in the new year. After years of record setting falling incomes, our policies are boosting take-home pay at a historic pace. Under Biden, real wages plummeted by $3000. Under Trump, the. factory worker is seeing a wage increase of $1300. For construction workers, it's $1800. For miners, we're bringing back clean, beautiful coal. It's $3300. And for the first time in years, wages are rising much faster than inflation. Remember that the wages, just look at it, wages are going up much faster than inflation. How big is that? Very importantly, there are more people working today than at any time in American history, and 100% of all jobs created since I took office have been in the private sector. Think of that. 100% of all jobs have been in the private sector rather than government, which is the only way to make a country powerful and great. This historic trend will continue. Already I've secured a record breaking $18 trillion of investment into the United States, which means jobs, wage increases, growth, factory openings, and far greater national security. Much of this success has been accomplished by tariffs, my favorite word, tariffs, which for many decades have been used successfully by other countries against us, but not anymore. Companies know that if they build in America, there are no tariffs, and that's why they're coming home to the USA in record numbers. They're building. Factories and plants at levels we haven't seen AI automobiles. We're doing what nobody thought was even possible, not even remotely possible. There has never, frankly, been anything like it. One year ago our country was dead. We were absolutely dead. Our country was ready to fail, totally failed. Now with a Hottest country anywhere in the world, and that's said by every single leader that I've spoken to over the last 5 months. Next year you will also see the results of the largest tax cuts in American history that were really accomplished through our great, big, beautiful bill, perhaps the most sweeping legislation ever passed in Congress. We wrapped 12 different bills up into one beautiful bill that includes no tax on tips, no tax on overtime, and no tax on Social Security for our great seniors. Under these cuts, many families will be saving between $11,000 and $20,000 a year, and next spring is projected to be the largest tax refund season of all time. Because of tariffs, along with the just passed one big beautiful bill tonight, I am also proud to announce that more than 1,450,000, think of this, 1,450,000 military service members will receive. A special we call warrior dividend before Christmas, a warrior dividend in honor of our nation's founding in 1776, we are sending every soldier $1,776. Think of that, and the checks are already on the way. Nobody understood that one until about 30 minutes ago. We made a lot more money than anybody thought because of tariffs, and the bill helped us along. Nobody deserves it more than our military, and I say congratulations to everybody. And by the way, we now have record enlistment in our military, and last year we had among the worst recruitment numbers in our military's history. What a difference a year makes. In addition, I'm doing what no politician of either party has ever done, standing up to the special interests to dramatically reduce the price of prescription drugs. I negotiated directly with the drug companies and foreign nations, which were taking advantage of our country for many decades to slash prices on drugs and pharmaceuticals by as much as 400, 500, and even 600%. In other words, your drug costs will be plummeting downward. And I use the threat of tariffs to get foreign countries who would never have done it to pay the cost of this giant dollar reduction. They stopped ripping us off, and it began as of 4 days ago. There has never been anything like this in the history of our country. Drugs have only gone up, but now they'll be going down by numbers never conceived possible. It's called Most favored nation. And no president has ever had the courage or ability to get this done until now. The first of these unprecedented price reductions will be available starting in January through a new website, trumprx.gov. And these big price cuts will greatly reduce the cost of healthcare. I'm also taking on the gigantic health insurance companies that have gotten rich on billions of dollars of money that should go directly to the people. The money should go to the people. That's you. So they can buy their own health insurance, which will give far better benefits at much lower cost. It will be far better health insurance. The current Unaffordable Care Act was created to make insurance companies rich. It was. health care at much too higher cost and you see that now in the steep increase in premiums being demanded by the Democrats and they are demanding those increases and it's their fault. It is not the Republicans' fault. It's the Democrats' fault. It's the Unaffordable Care Act and everybody knew it. Again, I want the money to go directly to the people so you can buy your own healthcare. You'll get much better health care at a much lower price. The only losers will be insurance companies that have gotten rich and the Democrat Party, which is totally controlled by those same insurance companies. They will not be happy, but that's OK with me because you, the people, are finally going to be getting great health care at a lower cost. Another major focus is the cost of energy. For years, the radical left Democrats exploited the green energy scam as an excuse to funnel many billions of dollars into their own massive slush funds, as their energy restrictions drastically drove up prices, and they drove them up at record levels. Electricity costs surged 30% to 100% under Biden. And the typical family lost $5000 to $10,000 in higher energy costs. Think of that $5000 to $10,000 you lost on day one. I declared a national energy emergency. Gasoline is now under $2.50 a gallon in much of the country. In some states, it, by the way, just hit $1.99 a gallon. And within the next 12 months we will have opened 1600 new electrical generating plants, a record, and it's a record that won't be beaten by practically, I would say by anybody or certainly not very soon. Prices on electricity and everything else will fall dramatically. The Democrat inflation disaster again, the worst in the history of our country, also robbed millions of Americans of home ownership and indeed the American dream. The yearly cost of a typical new mortgage increased by $15,000 under Democrat rule. In 11 months. We've already gotten that annual cost down by $3000 and it's coming down a lot lower. Wait until you see the. Numbers are going to be shocking, and I'll soon announce our next chairman of the Federal Reserve, someone who believes in lower interest rates by a lot, and mortgage payments will be coming down even further early in the new year, and you will see this in the new year. I will announce some of the most aggressive housing reform plans in American history. A major factor in driving up housing costs was the colossal border invasion. We have never been invaded. This is the worst thing that, frankly, in my opinion, the worst thing that the Biden administration did to our country is the invasion at the border. The last administration and their allies in Congress brought in millions and millions of migrants and gave them taxpayer-funded housing, while your rent and housing costs skyrocketed. Over 60% of growth in the rental market came from far. Foreign migrants at the same time illegal aliens stole American jobs and flooded emergency rooms, getting free healthcare and education paid for by you, the American taxpayer. They also increased the cost of law enforcement by numbers so high. That they are not even to be mentioned. For the first time in 50 years, we are now seeing reverse migration as migrants go back home, leaving more housing and more jobs for Americans. In the year before my election, all net creation of jobs was going to foreign migrants. Since I took office, 100% of all net job creation has gone to American-born citizens. 100%. In the end, government either serves the productive, patriotic, hardworking American citizen, or it serves those who break the laws, cheat the system, and seek power and profit at the expense of our nation. Look at Minnesota where Somalians have taken over the economics of the state and have stolen billions and billions of dollars from Minnesota and indeed from the United States of America, and we're going to put an end to it for so long as before my election. The vast majority of good and decent Americans were forced to watch as corrupt politicians plundered the halls of power, exploited our taxpayers, and pillaged every system that makes civilized society function, but not anymore, and you see that every day, not anymore. We're putting America first, and we are making America great again. Very simple. We are making America great again. Tonight, after 11 months, our border is secure, inflation has stopped, wages are up, prices are down. Our nation is strong. America is respected, and our country is back, stronger than ever before. We're poised for an economic boom the likes of which the world has never seen. Soon we will host the World Cup and the Olympics, both of which I got. But most importantly, we will celebrate the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. There could be no more fitting tribute to this epic milestone than to complete the comeback of America that began just one year ago. When the world looks at us next year, let them see a nation that is loyal to its citizens, faithful to its workers, confident to its identity, certain to its destiny. And the envy of the entire globe, we are respected again like we have never been respected before. To each and every one of you, have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. God bless you all.

Grammatical Superlatives*: 18
Semantic Superlatives**: 62

* Ended with suffix -est, best, worst, an adjective or adverb combined with most, etc.
** Phrasing that in context implied a minimum, maximum. In some cases, this was absolutist phrasing where a minimum, maximum, 0%, or 100% was implied.
 
I didn't watch his speech but after reading a few news articles about it, of course it was mostly about how Biden and the Democrats are responsible for all of our problems. Are we surprised?
This is why I don't pay attention anymore. Prior to 2016 when it was reported that a POTUS was going to be making an announcement, it meant that something serious had happened and the nation needed to be informed of it.

When the Head Baboon makes an announcement it's going to be a weird attack on political enemies, self-aggrandizement, and gibberish that should remind all but the severely insane of how disgraceful it is to have this guy sitting in the White House.
 
I didn't watch his speech but after reading a few news articles about it, of course it was mostly about how Biden and the Democrats are responsible for all of our problems. Are we surprised?
This is why I don't pay attention anymore. Prior to 2016 when it was reported that a POTUS was going to be making an announcement, it meant that something serious had happened and the nation needed to be informed of it.

When the Head Baboon makes an announcement it's going to be a weird attack on political enemies, self-aggrandizement, and gibberish that should remind all but the severely insane of how disgraceful it is to have this guy sitting in the White House.

There is no need to insult baboons.
 
I didn't watch his speech but after reading a few news articles about it, of course it was mostly about how Biden and the Democrats are responsible for all of our problems. Are we surprised?
This is why I don't pay attention anymore. Prior to 2016 when it was reported that a POTUS was going to be making an announcement, it meant that something serious had happened and the nation needed to be informed of it.

When the Head Baboon makes an announcement it's going to be a weird attack on political enemies, self-aggrandizement, and gibberish that should remind all but the severely insane of how disgraceful it is to have this guy sitting in the White House.

There is no need to insult baboons.
Well, ya gotta start somewhere.

Maybe prion would be more accurate because they infect the brain, which causes fatal diseases like mad cow disease and eventually kills the people they infect. But saying "the orange prion" just doesn't have the same visceral effect (and it wouldn't register with Trumpites).
 
It turned out to be 18 minutes of boilerplate rally nonsense. Could've been an announcement of boots on the ground in Venezuela, or reports of bearded seals from Greenland swimming toward Maine with WMDs, so it wasn't that bad. Trump must be reading his poll numbers at night, and not even believing himself when he says they're all fake.
 
It turned out to be 18 minutes of boilerplate rally nonsense. Could've been an announcement of boots on the ground in Venezuela, or reports of bearded seals from Greenland swimming toward Maine with WMDs, so it wasn't that bad. Trump must be reading his poll numbers at night, and not even believing himself when he says they're all fake.
I delayed the start of the Survivor FINALE!
Such total sacrilege, I turned off the TV and went to bed.
Yes, I've been saying for a year that Trump will find a way to steal Venzuela's oil. Did I miss anything?
Greedy pigs are predictable.
 
I didn't watch his speech but after reading a few news articles about it, of course it was mostly about how Biden and the Democrats are responsible for all of our problems. Are we surprised?
This is why I don't pay attention anymore. Prior to 2016 when it was reported that a POTUS was going to be making an announcement, it meant that something serious had happened and the nation needed to be informed of it.

When the Head Baboon makes an announcement it's going to be a weird attack on political enemies, self-aggrandizement, and gibberish that should remind all but the severely insane of how disgraceful it is to have this guy sitting in the White House.

There is no need to insult baboons.
Well, ya gotta start somewhere.

Maybe prion would be more accurate because they infect the brain, which causes fatal diseases like mad cow disease and eventually kills the people they infect. But saying "the orange prion" just doesn't have the same visceral effect (and it wouldn't register with Trumpites).
I have been SO reticent to even make any sort of public discussion of prions right now. Or of any scientific medical subject that isn't quackery.

If you're not careful, people will be talking about how we need to add more bovine and deer brains and marrow to cattle feed to guarantee healthy herds.
 
I didn't watch his speech but after reading a few news articles about it, of course it was mostly about how Biden and the Democrats are responsible for all of our problems. Are we surprised?
This is why I don't pay attention anymore. Prior to 2016 when it was reported that a POTUS was going to be making an announcement, it meant that something serious had happened and the nation needed to be informed of it.

When the Head Baboon makes an announcement it's going to be a weird attack on political enemies, self-aggrandizement, and gibberish that should remind all but the severely insane of how disgraceful it is to have this guy sitting in the White House.

There is no need to insult baboons.
Well, ya gotta start somewhere.

Maybe prion would be more accurate because they infect the brain, which causes fatal diseases like mad cow disease and eventually kills the people they infect. But saying "the orange prion" just doesn't have the same visceral effect (and it wouldn't register with Trumpites).
I have been SO reticent to even make any sort of public discussion of prions right now. Or of any scientific medical subject that isn't quackery.

If you're not careful, people will be talking about how we need to add more bovine and deer brains and marrow to cattle feed to guarantee healthy herds.
I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Please elaborate.
 
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