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Purity Balls

NobleSavage

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I just learned about this. It's kind of creepy.

At first glance they look like weddings: girls in white dresses, the exchanging of a ring, even the traditional father-daughter dance. But closer examination reveals that the girls are all around the age of 12, and the man giving the girl the ring is actually her father.

Welcome to the world of purity balls, a phenomenon that is how held in 48 states.

The purity movement began in the U.S. in the 1980s and now exists in over 17 countries and across America. The concept of a girl “giving” her virginity to her father's protection developed later on in alliance with Evangelical church movements.

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/religion/purity-balls-young-girls-give-their-virginity-their-fathers
 

Bronzeage

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They've been around for a while now. The whole idea is kind of sick.
 

Jaybees

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"A du Pont family heir who received no prison time after pleading guilty to raping his 3-year-old daughter nearly a decade ago faces a lawsuit from his former wife that accuses him of sexually abusing his toddler son.

Robert H. Richards IV, 47, on probation after pleading guilty in 2008 to fourth-degree rape of his daughter, has never been charged with crimes against his son. The lawsuit filed Tuesday in Superior Court provides in-depth details about a child rape case that did not receive media attention and Delaware authorities never disclosed publicly."

http://www.delawareonline.com/story...du-pont-heir-faces-child-sex-lawsuit/6565107/

Purity begins at home, especially if you are wealthy.
 

Bronzeage

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Yeah. This stuff has been going on for a long time and I engaged in a few discussions back then. The idea of a virgin bride goes back to the time when women were property and young women were premium property. As property, she was jointly owned by all the men of her family. It's tempting to say "male members of her family," but we won't go there. Since her virginity meant the family could make a more advantageous deal when they arranged her marriage. Marriage meant an alliance with another family and a generation of cousins. If she did something stupid, such as have sex with an unapproved man, her value was practically zero, which meant she had stolen from her family. Bad things would happen to her.

The purity balls put the same value on virginity, but they don't have any idea why. Instead of preserving the family wealth, a sensible idea, even if it is a few centuries out of date, they make her father into her celibate lover, complete with a mock courtship dance, the "Purity Ball."

These silly games never work. Chastity pledges and Purity Balls all reinforce the same idea that sex can be properly licensed. In other words, it's only okay within the solemn state of matrimony. The problem is, all the rules in the world cannot overcome human nature. When this is combined with an adolescent's ability to manipulate reality, it's a small step for her (and him) to imagine their love is as strong and pure as any felt by a married couple. But wait, it gets worse.

Since they have both promised to stay pure, the only hope of relief is to be overcome by passion. It just couldn't be helped. Their love was just too strong, but it's okay, because they have a love as strong and solid as marriage. The leads to bad things, because if you're going to use the passion defense, you can't prepare. Preparations mean premeditation. This means the sex they do have will be the riskiest. This is why teen pregnancies are so common in these kinds of families.
 

il Palazzo

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Since they have both promised to stay pure, the only hope of relief is to be overcome by passion. It just couldn't be helped. Their love was just too strong, but it's okay, because they have a love as strong and solid as marriage. The leads to bad things, because if you're going to use the passion defense, you can't prepare. Preparations mean premeditation. This means the sex they do have will be the riskiest. This is why teen pregnancies are so common in these kinds of families.

Interesting.

Pressuring your children to stay "pure" => They can't buy condoms or pills => Teen pregnancy.

Never thought of it like that before.
 

Bronzeage

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Interesting.

Pressuring your children to stay "pure" => They can't buy condoms or pills => Teen pregnancy.

Never thought of it like that before.

There is only one way to prevent teens from having sex. You must not give them the opportunity. This means no privacy. That is tough deal in today's world. It's basically impossible. Relying on their promise of good behavior is recipe for failure.
 

couch_sloth

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So I guess boys are free to do whatever they want, or do whatever they can get away with. :shrug:
 

Bronzeage

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So I guess boys are free to do whatever they want, or do whatever they can get away with. :shrug:

That is an important part of the system. We leave the girls in charge of the sexual brakes and the boys are free to go as far as she allows, or is able to physically resist.
 

Zeluvia

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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=saddlebacking

Saddlebacking
Saddlebacking - the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities. Named after Saddleback Churh, home of the Reverend Rick Warren, who is a proponent of abstinence education, the "sex ed" that has convinced so many Christian girls and boys that buttfucking isn't actually sex.
Saddlebacking - After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she's saving herself for marriage.

In 1975 I met a 17 year old girl from Ohio, who was saving herself for marriage by only having oral and anal sex. I assume things have not changed much.
 

Underseer

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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=saddlebacking



In 1975 I met a 17 year old girl from Ohio, who was saving herself for marriage by only having oral and anal sex. I assume things have not changed much.

From what I understand, it's worse thanks to all the "abstinence only" stuff that's been pushed in recent years. If I remember right, STD rates are rising among evangelical teens because of this. Unprotected anal sex is pretty much the most efficient way to transmit STD. :(
 

Bronzeage

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Jaybees

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It was vaginal sex in my neighborhood, but that was way back when Coke came in bottles. Uncapped and shaken up, it served as an after douche.

Don't ask me how effective it was. I never found out.
 

braces_for_impact

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So I guess boys are free to do whatever they want, or do whatever they can get away with. :shrug:

I often see this in these types of discussions. We go from carefully considered consent to out of control promiscuous behavior in one fell swoop. Since the dawn of time teenagers have been having sex. They will continue to have sex. This is pure and simple reality; whether one thinks it is immoral or not is irrelevant to the fact that it happens and happens often. Christian, Jewish, non-religious, Muslim, etc. does not matter. So, one can either prepare for it, or one can bury their head in the sand and hope for the best.

Teenagers drive as well, and driving is dangerous, particularly for teens. Yet we allow them to drive despite the danger, and in our culture almost consider it a right of passage to do so. You can put them behind the wheel unprepared, or you can educate them to the possibilities and realities of a crash. You can teach them to wear a seat belt, and you can teach them the consequences of risky behavior behind the wheel, such as cell phone use and other forms of distracted driving. Just because we give permission for teens to drive does not automatically mean that teens will inevitably engage in irresponsible behavior while behind the wheel.

The statistics show that lack of education is the largest factor involved in teen pregnancy, std's and abortion among teens. The very groups that attempt these alternatives to actual education are consistently shown to be the largest groups for having these unwanted babies, catching std's or having an abortion.

The very idea of a purity ball is ludicrous. Not only is it definitely creepy, it's also easy to see how it could endanger a teen that is full of hormones that lacks good decision capabilities. The poor girl is "in love" and her body is raging. She wants to have sex, but because of this weird (even inappropriate) relationship with her father - doesn't want to let him down. If she has a question about sex, is she going to ask daddy? I think not. If she does want to use contraception is she going to ask mom or dad for help? I doubt it. If she does get pregnant, is she going to hide it for as long as possible because she fears the emotional and religious consequences? Probably, and this puts her and her baby at further risk of health and mental health problems. Some may even be able to get away with hiding it until the baby ends up in a dumpster shortly after birth. This is all in direct opposition to the very "right to life" ethics that religious people so often champion.

It is very difficult to fix anything without the proper tools, this goes for teens having sex as well as your washing machine.
 

Keith&Co.

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If she has a question about sex, is she going to ask daddy? I think not.
I agree.

If the girl has been taught that her virginity is a commodity, and it's Daddy's property until he's good and goddamned ready to hand it over, sex has been actively demonized in her mind and in her understanding of Daddy's mind.

It takes a lot of work to establish a relationship with a teen that would allow any sex discussion, much less encourage her to ask him if blowjobs count as sex because Mary saws it doesn't. This Dad's not going to consider it an interesting question about technicalities, he's going to start to demonize Mary.

And while i've seen plenty of TV parents haul their kids to the side to have The Talk about drugs, alcohol or being popular vs. honesty, the only TV parents that have The Talk about sex either are too embarrassed to do anything but mention birds, bees and condoms, or they find the kid already knows more than Dad does.
 
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