Reasons why life isn't just a dreadful trudge toward death

[rousseau]

Have been thinking lately about how people who tend to over-think tend to be anxious, see problems more often, and have a tendency toward depression and unhappiness. In other words there seems to be at least a bit of a correlation between intelligence.. and just not being that happy.

Looking through the history of the art world you can see this pattern repeated quite often, really bright people who come to the conclusion that life is absurd, not worth living, but trudge through it all anyway.

All that said I believe that over-thinkers are just naturally pre-disposed to see the negative because it helps them survive, but are often completely blind to the positive because their mind isn't primed to look for it, even if they're aware of it sub-consciously.

So I thought it would be a worthwhile exercise to tread against the water and look for those reasons for positivity. Why are things actually amazing? What are our reasons to be happy, hopeful, filled with gratitude?

 

[ryan]

Variety, I think the more things I try, the more things I find bring happiness. Of course it's easier said than done; it always feels crappy when I try something that I hate doing.

 

[rousseau]

Variety, I think the more things I try, the more things I find bring happiness. Of course it's easier said than done; it always feels crappy when I try something that I hate doing.

It's interesting that you touched on variety. I think there's something to it.

I don't want to get too pedantic, but I think most people enjoy doing things, and having new experiences, and that's pretty much what life is, every day.

 

[ryan]

Variety, I think the more things I try, the more things I find bring happiness. Of course it's easier said than done; it always feels crappy when I try something that I hate doing.

It's interesting that you touched on variety. I think there's something to it.

I don't want to get too pedantic, but I think most people enjoy doing things, and having new experiences, and that's pretty much what life is, every day.

Most of the time I hate trying new things. I get stuck in my bubble of familiarity, and slowly become miserable from exhausting the things that used to make me happy in it.

But every once in a while, a friend or family member will drag me into a situation that I find unexpectedly favorable, and I will be able to add it to my arsenal of things I enjoy doing.

 

[GenesisNemesis]

Personally, I think consciousness just by itself is fascinating, so that's one reason I continue to live and enjoy life, not to mention curiosity. I love questioning things and learning new things. This Louis C.K. quote about sums it up:

“I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.”

Also it should be noted that whether or not life is a "dreadful trudge" is simply a judgment about life you make yourself, and therefore it is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is nether true nor false, it is entirely subjective. Of course there are people who have depression and they're not entirely responsible for how they view the world, but what I'm saying is, if you do not have depression, and are reasonably mentally well, you are much more responsible for how you view the world. Why make things more difficult for yourself? Why set yourself up as a victim?

 

[Angry Floof]

Personally, I think consciousness just by itself is fascinating, so that's one reason I continue to live and enjoy life, not to mention curiosity. I love questioning things and learning new things. This Louis C.K. quote about sums it up:

“I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.”

Also it should be noted that whether or not life is a "dreadful trudge" is simply a judgment about life you make yourself, and therefore it is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is nether true nor false, it is entirely subjective. Of course there are people who have depression and they're not entirely responsible for how they view the world, but what I'm saying is, if you do not have depression, and are reasonably mentally well, you are much more responsible for how you view the world. Why make things more difficult for yourself? Why set yourself up as a victim?

This! What the fuck is all this, anyway? Seriously.

 

[rousseau]

Personally, I think consciousness just by itself is fascinating, so that's one reason I continue to live and enjoy life, not to mention curiosity. I love questioning things and learning new things. This Louis C.K. quote about sums it up:

That's an interesting perspective, never thought of it that way.

“I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.”

Also it should be noted that whether or not life is a "dreadful trudge" is simply a judgment about life you make yourself, and therefore it is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is nether true nor false, it is entirely subjective. Of course there are people who have depression and they're not entirely responsible for how they view the world, but what I'm saying is, if you do not have depression, and are reasonably mentally well, you are much more responsible for how you view the world. Why make things more difficult for yourself? Why set yourself up as a victim?

I don't know. There have been times in my life where no one could have convinced me that life was worth living, even myself. At the time, I don't think it was so much that I had a choice on how I felt about my life, but rather my understanding of the world at the time had me sincerely believe that I was unhappy. Of course it's a matter of perspective, but if you don't have that perspective to convince you otherwise, you're stuck.

I've also met many people who have just had really awful lives. For instance, one guy I met through the college program I took a few years ago had autism that was severe enough that he was very incapable, but light enough that he was too capable for constant support. The result was that he was supporting himself, had trouble maintaining friendships, never had a relationship, and on and on. He would talk to me sometimes and I can recall him saying things like 'life is hell'. So yea I do think the reality of your life plays a big part of it, whether that's your financial situation, physical and mental health, or whatever. If you have the hormone balance to be happy regardless, consider yourself lucky.

 

[southernhybrid]

I tend to think that some people are just wired to be depressed and anxious while others are able to cope with things like pain, and even poverty. To me, having a good social support system is very important, as well as having your basic needs met. I've noticed that it's easier to be happy as I age. Things that can make old age very difficult are the loss of a partner or child, extreme financial hardship or the loss of independence.

As far as those who over think, I have a sister like that. She suffers from anxiety and intermittent depression. She constantly questions herself about everything and frequently feels guilty about something. I don't believe that over thinking necessarily has a thing to do with intelligence. Some people just have minds which are very difficult to quiet down, even if they are always just over thinking minutia. They often suffer from insomnia. It's hard to be happy when you're not getting enough sleep.

One must learn to detach oneself from the many tragedies that occur all over the world or it's almost impossible to be happy. I have been a nurse who cares for older adults for most of the past forty years. There is also a great emotional reward in helping others, as long as you learn to detach yourself from their suffering. You must learn to let go when those you care for die, otherwise, emotional attachment may eat you alive, burn you out and sometimes make you angry and cynical. Believe it or not, one can care deeply without getting attached.

But, I imagine we all have different ways of finding joy in life.

 

[rousseau]

I tend to think that some people are just wired to be depressed and anxious while others are able to cope with things like pain, and even poverty.

Completely agree. A big part if it is just physiological stability: is your mind balanced enough that you don't have much trouble navigating day to day life. This just so happens to be the majority, people with no addictions, a healthy body, and a mind right in the thick of the population average, not so aware that they conclude life is meaningless, not so anxious that they become paralysed, not so unintelligent that they can't hold down a job, just average, capable, and content people.

People tending toward this physiological balance is only natural because the most balanced are usually the ones most likely to reproduce. And if you apply it throughout history it's likely been a God-send for so many because in many periods life was pretty harsh.

 

[abaddon]

Everything is amazing, it all depends on how much thinking you put into it. The more thinking, the less amazing.

I’ve often noticed the moment that thinking takes over, and it never fails to diminish experience. For one example, I was hiking and ‘met’ a flower and for a moment there was absorption into the experience rather than mere observation of “a pretty flower” — meaning I hadn’t divided the event into “me” and “it” just yet; I hadn’t started the mental description and judgements of it just yet. With no judgment all was just as-it-is, enrapturing. (How can a flower be enrapturing "just as it is”? Well, it can’t and that’s not what I said… instead, the biospheric event of awareness + flower + the “meeting” all taken together is one integral event and innately captivating).

Then, when thought entered in (and thus also, inescapably, judgment) I was thinking “this is a lovely flower” and that drained the experience of much of its wonder because where it’d all been one holistic participatory experience, now with thinking it’d been divided into observer/observed which broke it up into parts and made some parts seem relevant (a “me” that is “inside” and “a flower” that is “outside”… when none of that actually exists) and then I judged “it’s a pretty flower”. So it was now just esthetic enjoyment, which is only imagination... pleasurable but less so than a fuller absorption into experience.

If that doesn’t make sense, then imagine having sex but thinking about it and analyzing it as you do it. Instead of attentional absorption within the experience, try thinking “I am now having an orgasm”. Then try naming some of the qualities of it, whether the experience is meaningful or positive, and see how much the experience itself falls into the background and the thoughts occupy the foreground of attention.

I chose orgasming for an extreme example, but it could be anything. Just walking and a breeze blows over your skin. Preverbal participatory experience = amazing. But think about it, and the “amazing” is gone out of it or at least much diminished.

Existentialists ponder the meaning of life and wonder if it has meaning or if humans add positive valuation into it, only because they’re city-dwellers sitting on their asses in cafes, thinking. They'll tell you they enjoy thinking and the artsy human-made objects around them, but look at the result of it: doubt that life has meaning and is possibly "absurd". The "trudge towards death" is an example of how thinking can dissociate one away from actuality into imaginations.

Sensory awareness is amazing. Develop your ability with it, and see if that's not true. It's less "things" you might find for "reasons" to feel amazed, and more the quality of attention to anything, that makes a world of difference.

 

[untermensche]

There are no reasons why anybody should be happy.

There are ways to make yourself happy.

One key is the people you are close to.

 

[Under the Rose]

Life is an experience and the mere fact that one exists at all is a minor miracle in and of itself when one contemplates the odds.

The circumstances of each existence may be beyond control but the attitude of the participant remains pliable.

At birth, we have no parameters for evaluation or judgement; these are learned and acquired through experience.

This experience largely becomes the filter through which we observe and participate but it is within our ability to change.

The ability to just experience the moment for what it is, without evaluation or judgement, is a skill which completely changes how one perceives the journey.

I have yet to master it, but I have experienced such moments and I am now much more open to the potential of experiencing the world as it is rather than how I want it to be.

We cannot change others, we can only change our own attitude.

 

[bilby]

Reasons why life isn't just a dreadful trudge toward death:

1) Seratonin
2) Dopamine

That is all.

Everything else is just a way of increasing the level in the brain of one or both of those; or at least preventing them from decreasing too much.

Of course, the number of ways to achieve that is pretty fucking mind-boggling - including, as it does, the consideration of the fact that the number of ways to achieve that is pretty fucking mind-boggling.

 

[Speakpigeon]

Have been thinking lately about how people who tend to over-think tend to be anxious, see problems more often, and have a tendency toward depression and unhappiness. In other words there seems to be at least a bit of a correlation between intelligence.. and just not being that happy.

Looking through the history of the art world you can see this pattern repeated quite often, really bright people who come to the conclusion that life is absurd, not worth living, but trudge through it all anyway.

All that said I believe that over-thinkers are just naturally pre-disposed to see the negative because it helps them survive, but are often completely blind to the positive because their mind isn't primed to look for it, even if they're aware of it sub-consciously.

So I thought it would be a worthwhile exercise to tread against the water and look for those reasons for positivity. Why are things actually amazing? What are our reasons to be happy, hopeful, filled with gratitude?

What is amazing here is how intelligence gets mindlessly equated with "over think"! We can certainly assume that overdoing anything is bad but where do you articulate the connection between being intelligent and a tendency to "over think".

Now, if overdoing anything is bad there must be a reason to it. Possibly if you overdo anything it's because you have a medical condition, probably undiagnosed. And if you have a medical condition to the point of overdoing things then no wonder you feel unhappy somehow. So, the answer is just look at the ways you could sort out your medical condition and if you do then the likelihood is you'll end up feelling much better. Sometimes it's not a medical condition. It may be intoxication caused by your environment, whatever. The solution remains the same.

Often, there's no help available. You'll have to do much of the hard work on your own.
EB

 

[Under the Rose]

That which we term 'happiness' is a subjective state of mind caused by the chemicals in our body/brain. As Bilby has pointed out, our species quite intentionally strives to alter the chemical balance to induce a state which the individual finds preferable.

An interesting read the other day spoke to the observation that virtually everyone is addicted to some substance, legal or otherwise, which leads to a sense of well being or happiness for that individual.

Of equal interest is the body response to various components in processed food that likewise can trigger or interfere with how we perceive circumstances to be. What we eat, drink and otherwise ingest has the capacity to change how we think, feel and make decisions. Definitely something to bear in mind.

E.G. - Never go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. You will find yourself with considerably more purchases than were on your original list in most cases.

 

[Playball40]

Also it should be noted that whether or not life is a "dreadful trudge" is simply a judgment about life you make yourself, and therefore it is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is nether true nor false, it is entirely subjective. Of course there are people who have depression and they're not entirely responsible for how they view the world, but what I'm saying is, if you do not have depression, and are reasonably mentally well, you are much more responsible for how you view the world. Why make things more difficult for yourself? Why set yourself up as a victim?

It is important to note that there are many people who suffer from anxiety/fear etc., that are NOT depressed. Unfortunately this disorder is often inherited. It is not a self-fulfilling prophecy for them anymore than it is for others with a mental disorder such as depression. Those who suffer from GAD or SAD can be taught coping techniques, but it's not fair to imply they are somehow 'doing it to themselves'.

 

[fromderinside]

Also it should be noted that whether or not life is a "dreadful trudge" is simply a judgment about life you make yourself, and therefore it is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is nether true nor false, it is entirely subjective. Of course there are people who have depression and they're not entirely responsible for how they view the world, but what I'm saying is, if you do not have depression, and are reasonably mentally well, you are much more responsible for how you view the world. Why make things more difficult for yourself? Why set yourself up as a victim?

It is important to note that there are many people who suffer from anxiety/fear etc., that are NOT depressed. Unfortunately this disorder is often inherited. It is not a self-fulfilling prophecy for them anymore than it is for others with a mental disorder such as depression. Those who suffer from GAD or SAD can be taught coping techniques, but it's not fair to imply they are somehow 'doing it to themselves'.

I'm pretty sure motion is the result of anxiety.

 

[bilby]

It is important to note that there are many people who suffer from anxiety/fear etc., that are NOT depressed. Unfortunately this disorder is often inherited. It is not a self-fulfilling prophecy for them anymore than it is for others with a mental disorder such as depression. Those who suffer from GAD or SAD can be taught coping techniques, but it's not fair to imply they are somehow 'doing it to themselves'.

I'm pretty sure motion is the result of anxiety.

You mean like running away?

 

[Treedbear]

Have been thinking lately about how people who tend to over-think tend to be anxious, see problems more often, and have a tendency toward depression and unhappiness. In other words there seems to be at least a bit of a correlation between intelligence.. and just not being that happy.
...

Why are things actually amazing? What are our reasons to be happy, hopeful, filled with gratitude?

To feel happy one needs to have a purpose and the ability to fulfill it. That might lead to gratitude but not necessarily, depending on whether there is someone to be grateful to by way of providing the means to that purpose. Often the mistaken need to feel grateful in order to be happy leads to an intellectual conflict between the atheistic perspective and the need, ultimately, for a metaphysical purpose. To feel happy this must be resolved philosophically, by thinking more, not less. Ultimately happiness is peace of mind, in the neurological sense. Ignoring conflicting ideas eventually leads to more anxiety and confusion. Amazement should lead to revelation.

 

[abaddon]

... Often the mistaken need to feel grateful in order to be happy leads to an intellectual conflict between the atheistic perspective and the need, ultimately, for a metaphysical purpose...

I don’t know if one needs a metaphysical anything to feel gratitude for those occasions of “happiness”. And not necessarily a human “someone” either. Nature does it for me. I feel gratitude to trees for breathable air; and to water and the ground and birdsong and so much else. I have an innate selection bias for the negative things in life, so happiness… or, I prefer the phrase “relative contentment”… is something I work at. Having a gratitude practice has helped a lot. I love to walk in the park, and when I do I don’t just try to be mindfully (bodily) present with the life in the park, I will often deliberately express my gratitude for all the life there in the park including 'mine'. There’s a boost in “relative contentment” with such deliberate practices.